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 Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:51 pm
Do you guys think that I should put this story in the school newspaper?
As like.. installments? The first part first and then the next part and then so on. Kinda like how I did it with you guys?
A special shout out to all of you who actually read it. I really appreciate it.
The stuff in the cyan is new. Only two one more section until the ending guys. =D
The stuff in the pink is the epilogue.
Well.. I need your help again TOC.
I'm sorry I'm posting so many stories, but I want to know if I should continue this one.
Atalaya held her small daughter close to her breast. The new born snored heavily her hand in mouth. Smiling Atalaya touched a curly hair on her daughter’s head. She’d have her mother’s silky hair and beautiful chocolate skin. The enfant drooled a little and Atalaya’s heart melted. Such a beautiful defenseless creature, it was a shame she was the result of such a hated act in Atalaya’s life. He had seduced her with promises, promises that he would never leave. He would if Atalaya had to force him herself. He daughter yawned and snuggled closer to the warmth that was Atalaya. Mother and daughter. Enjoying each other, both being a rock to the one another. Saddened Atalaya remembered she would have to give up her one and only daughter to him. He who ruined the stability of her life. He who had thrust her into a life of lust and passion. He who said he would take care of her and her unborn child. Atalaya cried thinking of the night they spent together. The night he had taken the most important thing in her life. “I love you.” She whispered to her daughter.
Atalaya wanted the enfant to know she would always love her. Kissing the top of her head she silently prayed to a god that was unknown to her for so many years.
A cold wind went up her arm and Atalaya shivered, the door was instantly opened after that. He walked in.
“Atalaya,” He said voice strong and filled with so much power. “How are you feeling?” Her face instantly hardened, her luscious lips set in a grim line.
“Take this creature away from me.” She said gesturing to her beautiful baby girl. It hurt her to put on such an act. “She’s getting her disgusting drool all over me!” Atalaya practically threw their daughter into his arms.
“You could be more careful,” he whispered. “She is the most important thing in my life right now.” His dark honey colored eyes ran her up and down. He set his daughter in the small cubicle that was her home for the time being. The roses that once stood erect in his hand were now limp from the weight of their daughter. He flung them onto a useless tabletop. He moved to her in an instant.
“Go away Adrian.” She whispered having a weak moment. His hand was on her cheek.
“You don’t want me to go away.” His voice was so sturdy. “I don’t want to go away.” Adrian’s lips were on hers in an instant. Atalaya didn’t want to respond but her wretched body did. She loved him, but they were both well off without her. Her child and love. Atalaya kissed him back, her mouth opened and his tongue slipped in. Her eyes drooped. Adrian ended the kiss and looked at her. They both were breathing hard. He kissed her again lightly this time. “I need you.”
“I don’t need you.” She said hardened. “I’ll give you a good time though.” She said smiling wickedly. “Remember the great time we had?” He looked as if he had been slapped. Exactly what she wanted, even if her heart clutched.
“Don’t do this Atalaya. Please.” His voice had so much hurt in it, so raw and jagged. Atalaya tried to control her whooshing stomach, the sick feeling that filled it.
“Do what darling?” she touched him seductively. Appalled he moved back. Her heart hurt so much.
“Do you have a name for our daughter?” he swallowed hard. “I thought of Atalaya, but you seemed so repulsed by the sight of your own daughter.”
“Bourbon?” she suggested sweetly.
“I thought you could come up with something better. How about Aneshea? Aneshea Atalaya Childs.” He picked up his baby girl and kissed her forehead. “It’s perfect.”
“Good then you and your perfect daughter can get out of my life.” She said sinisterly. He bowed his head and walked out of the room carrying his baby girl in his arms.
Saint Esprit 2830
Aneshea slept with her back to her dad’s chest. He snored loudly, but she didn’t care. As long as he was with her everything would be okay. He always made everything okay for her. Aneshea placed her small hand on her father’s larger one. He responded by holding her own in his. Her hand seemed to disappear into the cave that was his. Aneshea smiled. He would always be here to protect her, his little girl. Aneshea snuggled up closer to her father and he squeezed her.
“Bonjour ma petite fille.” He said sleepily. Aneshea smiled.
“Bonjour papa.” She moved up to kiss his cheek. When she reached his face her father picked her up and gave her a dozen kisses on her head. Squealing Aneshea tried to get away. Adrian finally stopped their little game and laid her cheek against his. She was warm and breathing hard.
“Joyous Anniversaire, Aneshea.” Adrian kept her close to him. Loving the fact that this was his daughter, his life he had to protect. “How do you feel?” he kissed her head.
“I’m fine. How do YOU feel?” she asked copying him and kissing his forehead. He laughed and swung her around. Aneshea saw a brief sadness in her papa’s eyes. He set her gently down on the bed.
“Only the best for my daughter’s extraordinary day.” They sat father and daughter waiting for their family to be complete.
Underworld
Atalaya sat in her overly stuffed chair drinking wine. Her man slaves gently brought up a cool breeze with their large fans. One her favorites was feeding her grapes. Atalaya felt relaxed and supreme. Nothing could bring down her feeling of self worth. No one could. Taking another sip of wine she tried to forget. Forget everything that happened in the last four years of her life. The daughter she never saw. Her heart whispered for her to go to the surface world, but logic stated flatly that she shouldn’t. Her mind was what got her this lavish castle and the slaves, so she’d rather listen to that. Taking another small sip of her wine Atalaya relaxed. As long as she didn’t think of the family she didn’t have she would be fine. Closing her eyes she remembered her perfect little girl. Stop it. Her mind whispered. You don’t need either of them. Externally she appeared calm and cool, but inwardly she was having a fight with her mind and heart. A man servant walked up to her, his sandals clicking against the cool castle floor.
“What is it?” she asked irritated. He shuffled a moment and then kneeled.
“Ma’am I have the information you requested.”
“Information?” she asked irritated.
“Information on your daughter.” Atalaya stared at him a full moment before she slapped him. His face moved to one side, but stayed in his kneeling position.
“Don’t mention that creature in my presence.” She grabbed him by his rags and hauled him up. “You got that?” he nodded and when she threw him down the stairs he stumbled away. The slaves had stopped fanning to stare at her. She looked right back. “What the hell are you all looking at? Get back to work!” at her command they continued their jobs. Frustrated Atalaya marched down and into her bed chamber. They all knew not to follow her when she was angry.
No light ever was shown in her castle. All the curtains where always drawn, making her castle seem and feel dreary. Flinging herself to her silk lined bed she silently cried.
Saint Esprit
Adrian weaved in and out of several hundred screaming children. Being King of Saint Esprit he had made the birth of his daughter a national holiday. Plastering a smile on his face he moved to the other adults. They were either talking politics or the latest landing on Mars. A noble woman came up to him and put a diamond encrusted hand on his sleeve.
“How are you King Adrian?” Her voice was purposefully low and husky. Adrian winced and drew away slightly.
“Happy.” He said relieved. “My daughter is happy so therefore I am.” His eyes moved over to where his daughter was moving and playing with the other children. Her laugh was golden. Adrian’s eyes watered.
“Princess Aneshea needs a mother,” she looked up at him. Her eyes were cold and distant. “It doesn’t seem like you have been looking hard enough.” Her lips pulled outward in a pout. “I’m glad you didn’t.” Adrian swallowed, but gently released his arm from her clutches.
“I think someone is calling.” He stepped away before she could touch him again. Adrian stopped by his head maid and almost grandmother to Aneshea.
“I saw you with Lady Ruth.” She said nodding. “She’s a slimy one boy. You stay away from her.” She moved around making sure all the other servers were in place, Adrian followed behind her.
“Why do you think I left like that?” he scratched his head and tried to take a fresh bun from her basket. She slapped his hand away.
“You don’t want to lose all those muscles you work so hard to get, do you?” she patted his perfectly flat stomach. “Now step aside and get a carrot.” Adrian rolled his eyes, but agreed.
“Do you think Aneshea is happy Jackie?” The plump women looked at him long and hard. She patted his cheek and said.
“Of course she is. You give her anything she would ever want.”
“Everything, but a mother.” A memory of Atalaya slowly played back in his head. Her smile after their one and only date, they way she hesitantly kissed him.
“Well then there is that.” Adrian nodded. “Why aren’t you looking then?” This time it was Adrian’s turn to stare.
“With all of these women?” he flailed his hands to the shallow women dressed in their best just to impress him. “They either want the title Queen or my body. Not my daughter. Never my daughter.” His voice was low, but filled with anguish. The one thing he couldn’t give his daughter was so important.
“The right women will come in time sugar. Just be patient.” Adrian solemnly nodded, but moved away. The right women had walked out of his life four years ago.
Saint Esprit
Atalaya stood on the edge of the crowd; her dark sun classes shielded her somber face. She was dressed casually because this was an outdoor birthday party. He was dressed in jeans and black leather boots. Her blouse was form fitting, her hair fell just below her shoulders in ringlets. Her make up was minimal as it always was. She tried to not be noticed, but each and every man near her was staring. At least Adrian was on the other side of the room. She looked at him closely now. He was beautiful, tall and lean with a buzz cut. His chocolate skin reflected in the son making him look golden. His smile was white, like a breath of fresh air she thought.
Little children were running in the bright sun light and adults were scattered around. Either chatting or just looking at the beauty of the area were they strolled. Atalaya received wine from a tall erect butler. Taking a sip of the wine she pushed of from the wall in which she occupied. The men who watched her followed her with their eyes. Atalaya wanted to laugh. No one approached her and she was happy. If they did they would get a cold stare from her. A small child ran into her. Atalaya looked down, but made no move to pick her up. The girl mumbled something in French before looking up at her.
“You’re pretty.” She said standing and tugging Atalaya’s jeans. Deciding she couldn’t be mean to a child Atalaya brushed a speck of dirt from the girls face.
“As are you.” She smiled and patted her head. The young girl was so very beautiful in an exotic way. Her eyes were honey colored; she had a button nose and chocolate skin, much like her own. Her mouth was small and pink and her cheeks rosy. Her hair was long and fell past her shoulders.
“My name is Aneshea and it’s my birthday.” Atalaya’s heart stopped. Aneshea? Wasn’t that her own daughter’s name?
“Aneshea?” Atalaya stuttered.
“Yup. Aneshea Atalaya Childs.” She tugged on Atalaya’s hand. Atalaya hadn’t thought she would come into contact with her daughter much less talk to her. “I told you my name. You tell me yours.” She smiled and Atalaya could see all of her baby teeth were still intact.
“My name,” Atalaya couldn’t think. She concentrated on breathing. Aneshea looked at her with curiosity. “Is that really important?”
“We’re friends; shouldn’t a friend know each others name?” she looked so trusting. Aneshea didn’t think she could break her heart.
“Atalaya. My name is Atalaya.” Her face brightened.
“Papa said my mothers name was Atalaya. Are you my mother?” Aneshea grabbed her hand.
“I’m afraid not.” Atalaya lied. “What happened to your mother?” Atalaya wanted to know what Adrian had told her.
“That my mother wasn’t ready to be my mommy at the time. He said that I should be patient and she will come back.” Tears formed in the younger girls eyes. “Why doesn’t she want me?” Speechless Atalaya dropped to her knee’s and hugged Aneshea.
“I bet she loves you very much,” her voice cracked slightly. “She just doesn’t know how to show it.” The tears wouldn’t stop coming from Aneshea. They remained in that position. Daughter crying into the chest of her unknown mother.
The other side of the Grand Garden
Adrian wondered where his little girl went. She was playing happily before and now she was lost in the crowd. For a brief moment he looked over the tops of the heads of the nobles and party goers. Where the hell was she? Almost on the verge of panicking Adrian moved through the crowd, his face a mask of fear. Pushing through the crowd he reached the outskirts of the garden. A woman had his daughter in her arms while she cried silently.
“Aneshea!” he yelled. She looked up and ran into his arms. “Baby it’s alright.” She was shaking, hard. “Papa will make everything better.” She cried even harder. Adrian looked at the women. She looked helpless. “What the hell did you do to my daughter?” he demanded.
“N-nothing.” She stuttered. Adrian’s eyes were blazing.
“You must have said or did something to make her cry.” He squeezed Aneshea, but she cried harder. He couldn’t stand seeing her cry. All his attention was on his daughter now. He murmured little things in their native language to her. She slowly stopped crying, shuttering slightly into his shoulder. Adrian’s shirt was wet, but he didn’t care as long as she stopped crying. Adrian removed a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her face with it. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks rosy.
“Darling, are you alright?” he kissed her forehead. Aneshea nodded and buried her head in his shoulder. “Let’s get you cleaned up and we’ll cut the cake.” Adrian stood and looked around. The woman was gone.
***
Atalaya slowly crouched behind a large tree trunk. He had seen her, but thankfully looked past her. Breathing hard she wrapped her arms around her slightly shaking body. He had been even more beautiful up in person; just like she remembered him to be. Her daughter had been small for her age, but as cute as Atalaya thought her to be. She had gotten her fathers honey colored eyes and skin. Her mothers long silky hair and button nose. She had both of their smiles and when she smiled at Atalaya her heart almost broke. Most would ask why Atalaya would have given up such a beautiful creation, but Atalaya had her reasons.
Adrian held their daughter in his arms like she was porcelain and walked slowly to the other side of the garden. Atalaya could have been queen of all of this. The beautiful stone Saint Esprit Castle that seemed to touch the sky. Green vines were placed decoratively around the castle. The great garden behind it was beautiful; it held proliferated flowers. Roses, Tulips, whatever the soul desired. She touched a white rose now, brought it up to her face and smelled. Adrian always smelled of cinnamon, she remembered. The first time she had been in the same room with him she smelled cinnamon and saw the man who had come with the sweet scent. Closing her eye’s she tried to get her emotions under control. Emotions. Hers always had to be under control.
A man walked past her. Atalaya didn’t bother to look up, but he turned around and looked at her.
“Hey baby. Why the tears? You’re prince in shining armor has arrived.” He leaned against the tree trunk, hovering over her. Atalaya pushed him and he fell of balance. Laughing for the first time since the encounter with Adrian she moved away from the predator.
***
Aneshea sucked her thumb while her papa cleaned her face. He had a cool cloth and gently wiped away all her tears; like he always did. Jackie hovered trying to look at Aneshea. She sniffed and both the adults stopped what they were doing and looked at her.
“Aneshea, baby what happened?” Jackie hugged her close to her bosom. Aneshea let the fret over her because she knew it would make both of them feel better.
“Nothing.” She whispered.
“Did that woman do anything to you?” her father asked taking her hand. Aneshea remembered the women who had the same name as her mother, and looked exactly as her father had described.
“No.” she whispered hugging Jackie back. “She didn’t do anything.” And what she didn’t do broke Aneshea’s heart.
***
Something was upsetting Aneshea. Adrian knew it by the quiet way she held his hand. Or the subdued way she cut her cake. Something bothered her and what bothered her bothered him. He had to find that woman who hurt her. She obviously did something to hurt his baby girl. Aneshea wouldn’t tell him; she was too afraid that she would hurt him. Aneshea ate a piece of cake. Some frosting got on her small button nose. Adrian laughed and removed it with his finger. He then proceeded to tickle her. Squealing Aneshea tried to get away. A little game of theirs.
From the corner of his eyes he saw a woman who looked out of place. Dressed in jeans and not the dress clothing all the other nobles wore. She had little make up and large sun glasses covering her face. Adrian gently put his daughter down and moved towards the women. She had yet to see him, Adrian moved quietly. He almost reached the women, but she was now looking directly at him.
***
Atalaya smelled him before she saw him. A distinct scent of cinnamon. There was possibly no way she could run away this time. She stood her ground and looked directly at him. Adrian was now facing her, staring at her face. He reached out and removed her sun glasses. Atalaya quickly put a face of distaste on.
“Adrian.” She muttered.
“Atalaya.” He said at the same time. They stared at each other; her cool gaze and his astonished one. “Why are you here? Does Aneshea know who you are?” he stepped up to her, she stepped away.
“Aneshea doesn’t know who I am.” She avoided his first question, not knowing why she was here herself.
“She’d like to meet you.” Adrian said quietly.
“I don’t want to be a mother Adrian. I never did and I never want to.” It hurt her to say that, but for the most part it was true. She couldn’t be Aneshea’s mother.
“Atalaya please…” he murmured in his sing song voice. “Even if you don’t want to be near me, just meet her. She’s the sweetest girl a parent could ever ask for.”
“I know. You raised her well Adrian.” Her throat was tight.
“Then meet her Atalaya. Not now though. Come by the castle later today. Before nine. I’ll tell the guards to let you in.” he touched her shoulder and she retaliated by shuddering. “Please Atalaya.” He whispered before turning and leaving; giving her no time to answer.
Later that night on the ground of the castle
Atalaya stood at the bottom of the castle, just by security. She looked up to see two silhouettes; father and daughter. Gulping she turned around, intending to go back to her sanctum.
***
Adrian was disappointed in Atalaya. He had told Aneshea that there would be a special guest coming to visit her before she went to sleep. They had waited for two hours. Aneshea hadn’t wanted to fall asleep, he could see her struggling to open her eyes, but soon imminent slumber had taken over her. Adrian tucked her in; kissing her forehead. Shaking his head he closed her pink door half way, just in case she got scared and wanted to crawl into his bed.
Adrian went down the cool spiral, stone stairs to the cozy kitchen. Jackie had packed up for the night so he was left to make his own coffee. While the pot was brewing he sat down at the breakfast table and thought. How could Atalaya do this to her own daughter? Adrian knew Aneshea would wake up crying tonight; crying to a mother that constantly disappointed her. Adrian cleared his throat. There was something up with Atalaya. Always something suspicious about her; something different. She walked with an air of suspicion. Always looking back, doing double takes. Adrian asked his Minister of defense to do a background check. Nothing big as he suspected had appeared, but nothing small had either. He should have been happy, but in actuality he found that even more disturbing.
The coffee had finished and Adrian took it. Black.
“I hadn’t known you liked your coffee black.” A soft voice whispered to him. Adrian didn’t even look back.
“You broke her heart Atalaya. You don’t see the hurt in her eyes. The pain in the way she told me bon soir.” He gripped the coffee mug in his hands tightly. “How did you get in here?” he still hadn’t looked back at her.
“The guard.” She said quickly. “I saw you two you two through the window. Just like a father and his daughter.” She was close to tears now. “Adrian I have to confess something to you. Why I couldn’t be Aneshea’s mother. Your wife.” Her tears were rolling down her cheeks now. “I’m so sorry Adrian.” In an instant his arms were wrapped around her. His coffee long forgotten now.
“Anything” he whispered, but his voice was still strong. “Anything you want to tell me, I’m ready to listen. I promise that I’ll always listen.” Atalaya got the meaning. He would never judge her. Adrian rained kisses all over her face. For once she didn’t even try to resist.
They somehow moved from the kitchen to the very comfortable living room. Adrian had always asked Jackie to keep Aneshea’s toys scattered all over the room so it would feel like home. Adrian was glad he had on socks and sweats, but Atalaya looked somewhat cooled. He set her down on one of the most comfortable couches in the house. He moved away to get a wool blanket passed down in the Childs family for centuries. He grabbed it and wrapped it around their shoulders. They sat like friends, lovers.
“Six years ago,” she started. “I was sixteen and I started seeing things. Things like fire. I always thought it to be beautiful Adrian. My parents worked so hard for everything to be normal for me. They were accountants for your father Adrian. I think you were maybe twenty at the time, a year before your own father died. They got me tested and I was given medication. I learned how to control my urges to create fire. I even joined a special arson unit for people like me after I turned eighteen. Almost like the military. Until the cold war between Saint Epsrit and Underworld which you now is by the Bermuda Triangle. Until I went off to war with the Special Arson I had been normal. Nothing “crazy” had happened in almost four years. When we finally got to Underworld I went crazy. The arson unit led by Captain X the so called celebrated leader left me and others behind. I stayed there and made my own castle consisting of men I found from all over Bermuda. The others that had been left behind had died do to injuries, but I had lived. I went on with an almost happy life until you showed up with your ideas of peace for Underworld.”
“And that’s when I saw you.” He whispered. Aneshea nodded her head.
“You were there and I got pregnant with Aneshea. That’s when the images started coming back. During my pregnancy with Aneshea. That’s why I couldn’t be her mother Adrian. I’m crazy. Even all the Saint Esprit doctors declared me crazy. They advised that I give up Aneshea and you and continue to live my life in Underworld.”
“Who were these doctors?” he asked softly.
“Dr. Jordine and Captain X. When I saw him again I almost broke down. You were there for me. You thought I was just going through a stage, but seeing him evoked such horrible memories.” Atalaya bowed her head.
“Did he ever hurt you Atalaya?” Adrian couldn’t believe this man, his friend and almost uncle to Aneshea had hurt her so.
“Physically and mentally.” She admitted. Anger coursed through Adrian’s veins.
“He’ll pay Atalaya. I promise you that.” Atalaya had a look of astonishment on her face. He kissed her gently before asking, “What’s the matter?”
“He said you may not believe me. I was afraid you wouldn’t.” the tears came down her face again. “That’s why I acted so cold, so hard. I thought you wouldn’t understand Adrian.”
“I know why you didn’t come to me. Captain X is a convincing man, but I want you to know; I’ll always be here to listen. I’d never take his word over yours.” She was crying freely now, Adrian’s sweatshirt was getting soaked, but he didn’t care. He’d do whatever it took to have her in his arms every night.
The next morning
Aneshea went to her father’s bed, but he hadn’t gone to bed. Sometimes he did that when he was working late. She couldn’t wait to tell him she had a nightmare and didn’t cry at all. Proudly she clutched her tattered teddy bear and walked down the large steps. She finally made it to the kitchen where Jackie was cooking an abnormally large breakfast.
“Bonjour Jackie!” Aneshea said running up and giving her the largest hug she could possibly give. Jackie laughed and welcomed her into her arms.
“Good morning my little pet.” She patted her head and set her down. “I’m making all of your favorites.” Aneshea clapped her hands and almost sat down before she noticed her papa wasn’t here either. He never missed breakfast without telling her.
“Jackie, where did Papa go?” she looked around eagerly at first, thinking he was going to tickle her.
“I don’t know sugar.” She didn’t look up. “Maybe he’s still working.” Jackie didn’t seem unconcerned about the disappearance of her Papa, but Aneshea was getting frantic. She went to the double doors and pushed them open. The family living room was on the other side. Two figures were seated in her and her Papa’s favorite couch. Curiously Aneshea walked to it. One of the figures was obviously her papa, but who was the other? Aneshea moved closer and uncovered the wool blanket. They were holding hands. It was the women from yesterday! Aneshea looked closer. It looked like she had been crying. Aneshea touched the women’s warm skin and then her fathers. The women mumbled something and the turned her head into her head into her papa’s shoulder. They looked like the perfect couple. Aneshea smiled and moved into her papa’s lap. For now they would be the perfect family.
***
Adrian awoke to two soft figures on him. One leaning heavily on his shoulder and the other in his lap. Adrian yawned and the opened one eye. Atalaya was sound asleep on his shoulder. She was even more beautiful in her sleep. He reached out to touch her mouth, but something was sitting in his lap. He opened his other eye and saw his daughter looking up at him with wide eyes.
“Aneshea?” he mumbled. She looked at him and then to Atalaya and back again. “Do you know what time it is?” he yawned, she nodded her head.
“Do you know what time it is, is the question Papa.” She was sucking her thumb now. “Its morning.” she supplied. “Jackie is making a big breakfast Papa. Is it for the women right there?” Adrian decided it was now or never. He had to tell his daughter who the woman was. So she wouldn’t run out of their lives so easily for the second time.
“Aneshea,” he started. He may as well be blunt. “This is your mother.” He cleared his throat and Aneshea broke down.
***
A child crying was not a pleasant sound, Atalaya found this out this morning. Hot bubbly tears were on her lap and the child choked on her cries. Atalaya woke in an instant to see her daughter and Adrian. She knew she had fallen asleep, because the last thing she had seen was Adrian’s sleeping face. He snored, but that was alright. Now her daughter lay in his lap crying. He tried to comfort her. Atalaya knew at once that he had told her. Without speaking Atalaya grabbed her daughter and started crying with her
Nine months later
“Captain X, you are herby stripped of your rank. You had failed to do your duty to Saint Esprit and its people…” Atalaya didn’t even hear the rest. Her daughter was snoring heavily in her lap. Her husband by her in their box. Life was good. She was seeing a physiatrist to make the voices stop in her head. Her estate in Underworld had long been sold and her once slaves were now freemen. Free like her. Free to be Queen of Saint Esprit. Free to be the wife to her husband, but most of all the mother to her beloved daughter. They sat in the box fit for kings and their family. Atalaya smiled to the people of Saint Esprit and they cheered. They all loved their new queen. They were happy to see the king had married and got a mother for their young princess. Adrian picked up their daughter with one hand and grabbed her hand with the other. They walked slowly down the red carpet; hand in hand.
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:02 pm
That's good keep going with it. I would definately like to see what happens next. I'm captivated but what becomes of this couple and their baby.
Trieze cool
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 6:16 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:07 pm
Thankyou guys.
Atleast someone read it.
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:28 pm
Ebony Beauty Thankyou guys. Atleast someone read it.
O course I read it. I'm glad I did too, very well written.
Trieze cool
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:40 pm
Alex_Trieze Ebony Beauty Thankyou guys. Atleast someone read it.
O course I read it. I'm glad I did too, very well written.
Trieze cool
Thanks. heart I hoped I didn't over describe things.
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:18 pm
Ebony Beauty Alex_Trieze Ebony Beauty Thankyou guys. Atleast someone read it.
O course I read it. I'm glad I did too, very well written.
Trieze cool
Thanks. heart I hoped I didn't over describe things.
On the contrary you described things just perfectyl. Have you ever read anything by palahnuik ( I so spelled tha wrong) like fight club or lulluby? He describes thing very well as well.
Trieze cool
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:20 pm
Alex_Trieze Ebony Beauty Alex_Trieze Ebony Beauty Thankyou guys. Atleast someone read it.
O course I read it. I'm glad I did too, very well written.
Trieze cool
Thanks. heart I hoped I didn't over describe things.
On the contrary you described things just perfectyl. Have you ever read anything by palahnuik ( I so spelled tha wrong) like fight club or lulluby? He describes thing very well as well.
Trieze cool
Thankyou. <3 I don't think I have. I rarley stray from reading a romance novel. Those are the only things I can read now.
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:35 pm
That's kool. If you ever want a change in reading material I highly suggest a chuck palahniuk, he's a very good writer.
Trieze cool
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 10:50 am
Thanks. I'll look into it.
I doubt our library would have it though.
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 10:56 am
Oooh. I like it.
I don't quite know what time period you want this in, but I LOVE it so far. You are an amazing writer and should FINISH THE STORY.
Because I would totally buy the book if it happened to get published.
BUT FINISH IT.
And if you finish it you can e-mail it to me or something cause it's REALLY interesting.
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 11:01 am
Queen.Cellophane Oooh. I like it. I don't quite know what time period you want this in, but I LOVE it so far. You are an amazing writer and should FINISH THE STORY. Because I would totally buy the book if it happened to get published. BUT FINISH IT. And if you finish it you can e-mail it to me or something cause it's REALLY interesting. Thankyou Queenie! heart It was set in the year 2828, but I don't think I put that part in. I'll send it to you when I finish, it'll just be a short story. I'll probably send it to the newspaper.
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Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:38 pm
...
Please read it you guys. emo
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Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:45 pm
Hmm.....
I dunno. It's kinda purple prosey.
But I like the direction the storyline is going.
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Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:51 pm
Purple Prosey?
And thanks for the input.
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