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I believe that you can have it before marriage if you're mature enough, and you're doing it with a person you love.

Totally QFE!

My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months (hell of a long time for us fickle teenagers, eh? biggrin ), and if it weren't for me being only 14 I probably would have screwed him by now or be seriously considering doing it. As is, I consider myself a mature person (I mean, I sure don't always act like it, but I'm mature on the inside XD), and I could definitely handle it before marriage and maybe even before 18 >.> I tend to move pretty quickly in all aspects of my life (I'm pretty much always the youngest in any sort of group), so why not sex? I'm gonna graduate from high school at age 16, and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend the first two whole years of my college life without having sex XD

And Matt -- high-five for deep teenage relationships! biggrin

It was probably the stress of wondering if she was preganant that caused her to be late. It's weird how that works.

I think yes, parents can be overbearing, but at the same time, I think they have reason to be. What if she really was pregnant? I bet you'd agree with them, at least in part. Even if you use BC, it's not a hundred percent. I'd hate to be that one or two percent that gets stuck with a kid, talk about ruining the rest of your teenage life.

I consider myself a mature person, but I couldn't have handled it when I was 13 or 14. I freaked out when I was late, even knowing I was abstinant, God knows why, I thought I was sick or sperm could fly or something - but then again, I used to be off by months - damn periods when you're younger are so irregular.

Anyway... I consider 11 months more than serious. Like you said, if you weren't 14, I'd be rooting you on. Iunno what age I'd say, okay go for it, though... 18, 19 maybe? But I'm semi-conservative when it comes to sex.

Ok, well lets think for a minute. She gets pregnant..I'm not the type of person to leave her high and dry and pregnant. I'm going to stay with her, and we will have the baby. (Yes, we have discussed this.) I love her, and I feel it is ok to do it if you know the risks. Yes her and I understand those risks, we understand she may get pregnant. Why let that stop us? Will she not get pregnant anyway eventually? I'm going to be honest, though my parents want me to go to college, I don't want to. I want to become a firefighter, and I don't need college to do that. I wouldn't ruin my college because I may not go. A baby isn't a bad thing, nor is sex. If you really feel you and your "mate" are mature enough to handle the physical and emotional pains that come with sex, as well as the pleasures, then go for it. Yes, it is true there is more psychological effects than physical when it comes to sex. But honestly, it does bring you closer. Think, for those brief few moments, your are one. For those brief few moments, you are touching, skin on skin, sharing something special that only 2 people who care alot about eachother should do. Now, I'm not saying sex is gauranteed to keep a relationship together eaither. That is a problem in itself. What if me and my girlfriend were to break up? Then we through away our virginity for nothing. Honestly, if you were to hook up with a guy/gilr and found out he/she wasn't a virgin at 14 would you even consider staying with them? That is a big problem. But I still say, if you know the risks abstinance isn't all its cracked up to be. There is some pleasure to sex. Now, once again, I'm NOT telling you to go have sex just because you think you love your "mate" enough. Do it because you both see it fit.

Yes it is true as well, when you have sex once, you want it again which unfortunitly only greatens the chance of her getting pregnant. But it is worth it in my opinion.

I think it is crap that sex influance is everywhere. Why? Why put it out there if we can't have it? Honestly, does that not make a teen want it more? My parents told me they don't want me having sex, but if I must, use a condom. They would give me the condom. Mixed signals so bad. But seriously, maybe your right brainrape. Perhaps they wish you not to, but if you are going to, then help you do it safely. Fortunitly, my friends give me the condom's I use which is another problem. How well was it taken care of before I got it? Another problem..My last one was too small. How can I know if this one is the right size. Sex is very complicated, but worht the risks I think.

Wow, these are all just big coincidences..Or not, perhaps the government has planned this all brainrape. I'm glad you like the discussion, it is nice to discuss things with your peers at a mature level.

I'm not even suggesting that there will be a problem, in you leaving her (the following is not meant to be an attack against you personally, just reasons why I think teenagers shouldn't perhaps wait.)

If she gets pregnant, it'll be HER who has to deal with caryring the baby, the humiliation of having everyone who knows her KNOW that she's a teenage mother, having to give birth, and then raise a child. You don't have to deal with exactly the same thing, as a male - if she gets pregnant, no random stranger can see who got her pregnant, they can only see that she's the one who's pregnant - hence all the blame is on her shoulders. I think this is why GIRLS are more conservative and wary about having sex, they're the ones guaranteed to be stuck with consequences. If a guy really freaks out, he can get out of the situation, he's not tied to the kid after his donation.

This is something the girl has to have to live with for the rest of her life. And I'd hate to think of because of one night of passion she ends up resenting a poor little baby who did nothing wrong but be conceived. It's the child who stands to lose a lot here, What kind of life can they have if they have parents wo can't even care for themselves? Going back to school is near impossible when you have a baby to care for - and you can't have a great job for the same reasons - no education and no time.

So I guess my point would be, I think once you finish highschool, it'd be worth, considering sex - because at least you have a decent amount of education and a shot at a good life, kid or no kid. Up until then, no matter how slight a chance there is you'll get pregnant, the risk isn't worth screwing up your or your child's or your own life. Imagine how many people think - Oh, it won't happen to me. I'd hate to be the one it does happen to.

I think giving out condoms is a great thing to do, because we know no matter how stupid it is, that teenagers are going to have sex. Fact of life. Like Kori said, safe sex is better than the alternative, which of course is having sex unprotected, rather than not at all as people would like to think

As for sex being used to show affection between two people - I think this argument is wasted. If you have to have sex with them in order to show someone you care, then you never really cared at all. Making out and other sexual things, like oral - which personally I think is completely different than intercourse, and okay for teenagers to do, because pregnancy is out of the question and VERY few teens have STIs compared to other age groups, and they can be protected against on the small off chance they are there - are good for that too, and I hope you wouldn't do that with anyone other than your mate.

Not once did I directly say that sex is the only way to show affection. I realize there are less drastic ways to show affection. That was a decision we as a couple decided was a good one. As it was, I wouldn't say it brought us closer, it did far from that. Perhaps I used the wrong terminology last post. It made us see things differently. We looked at eachother differently. We were no longer a couple who claimed they loved eachother. We are now a couple whom has proven our love. Yes you can prove love in other fashions. I understand. We just decided to prove our love in a higher, more serious approach. Its not like we have sex constantly either. We do it about once every 3 to 4 months. And we have currently only done it once.

If she was to get pregnant, I would stand beside her. I realize it was my "donation" and I would definantly feel responsible. I don't think it is right that the gilr is left with the kid, the financial problems, and the loss of a life that could have actually went somewhere. I feel it takes two to make a baby, so it takes to to raise on properly. And I will stay with her if she were to get pregnant, and even if she isn't or wont get pregnant, I still want to be with her. And if anyone wants to pin the blame on her, they will talk to me first, and I will speak my mind. (I'm really good at that, hince why I joined this guild. Its just I usually don't have a civil tongue.) I can honestly say I love my girlfriend. I can honestly say we are going to get married. We have both talked about all of this for the past 2 months or so.

To be honest we have also had unprotected sex. It was after I through my condom off because someone walked in. I'll tell the story if anyone is interested. Otherwise, I'm not going to waste my time. But anyways, she said ow every time I put it in. I realize it hurts, but we were doing better with the condom, which is why I gots another one.

We have also done the oral and the what not. We have done it all except a**l which is the dumbest for of sex in the world!

Of course, it's all your choice, I'm not trying to preech to you, here, I'm just stating what I personally think the right thing to do is.

I, too, wonder why you'd have unprotected sex? I understand if she did get pregnant you plan to stand by her, but shouldn't your goal be to not get her pregnant at all? Why bother take the chance, when changing a condom is fairly easy?