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 Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:28 am
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:29 am
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car; that's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:31 am
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:32 am
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:33 am
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:54 am
Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.
====================
And what's so bad, some have found how to reproduce!
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:57 am
This could explain some things.
Scary?
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, some witnesses claim that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.
This is a well publicized incident that many say has long been covered up by the U. S. Air Force and agencies of the Federal Government.
However, you may well NOT know what happened in the month of March, 1948, which is coincidently nine months after that historic incident.
It was in March, 1948, that Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham, John F. Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Fienstein, Charles E. Schumer and Barbara Boxer were born.
That piece of information seems to clear up a lot of things?
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:03 am
If that don't beat all!!!!!
There she goes again ...
Subject: The Spin Doctor Is In
Judy, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.
The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."
Judy emailed Hillary Clinton @NY.gov for comments. Hillary's staff of professional image adjustors cropped Remus's picture, scanned it, enlarged the image, and edited it with image processing software so that all that's seen is a head shot. The accompanying biographical sketch is as follows:
"Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:00 am
Toward the end of the church service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" Many held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady, Mrs. Jones. "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any!" She replied, smiling sweetly. "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," she replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the bitches."
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:56 am
This is a great thread! Thanks for sharing.
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:59 am
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 11:56 am
I have this feeling you've posted something similar before, but I can't find it! I was going to link them together so they're um.. linked! But maybe I dreamed the other one..
Anyway, when a good amount of people have seen this, I'll move it over to the Fun and Games subforum where our other jokes and funnies are. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 2:38 pm
thats neat...i like it....
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:36 am
MysticfawN I have this feeling you've posted something similar before, but I can't find it! I was going to link them together so they're um.. linked! But maybe I dreamed the other one.. Anyway, when a good amount of people have seen this, I'll move it over to the Fun and Games subforum where our other jokes and funnies are. 3nodding Well I am sure you saw it in my cabanna or the Old Geezers Guild since I have not posted one such as this before at the couch.
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:21 am
I Ceymore Ratz ... July 8, 1947, some witnesses claim that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. ...9 months later... It was in March, 1948, that Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham, John F. Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Fienstein, Charles E. Schumer and Barbara Boxer were born.
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