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Discuss how ridiculous that is.

I spent like fifteen minutes on this thing.

1. Just go ahead and don't speak unless someone has spoken to you.

2. Please stay in the kitchen and out of sight during commercials.

3. If you don't suck c**k like a champ, don't expect chocolate on Valentine's day.

4. Mark laundry day on a calendar.

5. There is no such thing as too much a**l sex.

6. One cunnilingus is equal to five fellatios, and I'm saving up.

7. This is how we see it . . . Don't Swallow = Don't Care.

8. Which also means that if we don't pay, take the hint.

9. The only kind of woman that gets beaten is a whore.

10. You're allowed to be late...as long as you pay for the abortion afterwards.

11.Shaving is key.

12. Don't take longer to come than we do.

13.Laugh at The Man Show.

14. Three words . . . missionary, doggy, piledriver.

15.Girls can be gangbanged. Guy gangbangs are gay.

16.Do not throw the first punch. You will NOT win.

17.Do you really want me showing that picture to your mother? Yea, didn't think so.

18.If you ask nicely, we usually pull out.

19. We will NEVER have enough a**l sex!

20. We have an excuse to fart in your presence at all times.

21. Cook dinner for us no matter where we are . . . especially at our house and staying with relatives.

22. We love a**l sex!

23. We liked to be blown softly, not with an iron tongue.

24.Pay attention to the back of my hand, because it means the most.

25. Thongs or commando. Pick one.

26. Clean your v****a before we come over.

27. Always brush your collar bone before you see us . . . a fresh pallete for a pearl necklace is a necessity.

28.Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love blowjobs, just watch those teeth.



29. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with your best friend and she lasts for hours.

30. Don't act hard around my friends or I will stick it in your pooper.

31. Sometimes "NOW!" really means "NOW!"

32."Clothes" are not an adequate form of fashion.

33. Sensitive girls are great . . . but crying more than we do in a bareknuckle boxing match just isn't right.

34. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, cheating on you with her is stressful enough.

35. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget to have dinner prepared when I get home.

36. Girls who are good cocksuckers = girls who know how to satisfy a man.

37."Fat Chicks" give blowjobs too.

38. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . I NEED A GOOD SHAMEFUL ********. If you are not a good cocksucker, please be self-aware.

40. Just because a guy doesn't pay for the first ten minutes doesn't mean it isn't free.

41. You don't have to spend a lot, if you don't mind post-op transexuals.

42. Don't say you love me with your mouth full.

43. Don't lie to us . . . your puny woman brain is incapable of subterfuge.

44. Orally pleasure us every chance you get.

45.When the guys get together, we describe in detail how bad you are in bed.

Hear, hear. biggrin

More women should listen to the Word of Travis, a.k.a. Jesus II.

@rex: Hey you, I know where it's at.

Of course. wink

Not really. I'm too skinny. crying

You can park your car in my lot anytime, baby.

Meh, I'll find a way to squeeze it in there

My girlfriend must be one of those with the invisible p***s.