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 Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:20 pm
How you ever had a sexual say 'things with sex are different', and that 'you don't get to know where I am, because you're not my lover', and ' I don't have to tell you, you're not my lover, now stop asking so many questions'. or something like that? Is it ok for this kind of thing to be coming from your best friend in the entire world? IS it ok for them to take a mutaul friend as 'theirs' without telling you, while at the same time going on about how no one trusts each other anymore? Is thsi normal? because right now, I'm ver coonfused, and very hurt ( and so if I have typos, please excuse them) and I know you guys don't know me well, if at all, but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, I can't explainthis all to my parents, because They don't get teh ace thing either, and my mom doesn't even seem liek she really beleives it. but... does anyone know if this si what happens? if this is what is supposed to happen? email me if you can demonic_shift@yahoo.com. I jsut don't know what to do, and I'm so bloody confused...somebody, anybody, please... crying
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:19 pm
I don't think it's okay.
Why your best friend in the world is shrugging you off, saying you can't understand, and stealing people (?) from you I can't say. Maybe they don't want to get anybody involved....but if they are saying it in a way to hurt your feelings, definately let them know. They may not realize that they're making you feel bad, and if this person really is your friend they will want to correct themselves. Privacy can be a matter people appreciate....just try to pick up on cues for when you really should pick at them for information.
As for claiming the mutual friend? I'm not sure there. sad I don't completely know the situation, and am just trying to give a bit of advice without flat-out telling you what to do. sweatdrop
I just saw this so I wanted you to get a response. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 11:33 am
Thanks for the response. I didn't think it was right, and some other people who've been told about it don't think it's right either. I've tried to tell her how I feel, but I think she has a -2 to 'Listen', and I know she's got about a -5 when it comes to 'express emotions'.
I don't know what's going on with the mutual friend, or if he even knows how she's looking at things. (he's got a -3 to 'express emotions', but his 'listen' is better).
another thing I find irksome..when i wasn't gettign along with this guy, she asked me to be nice, especially if she even ended up dating him. But we/I have another friend, whom she doesn't seem to like very much, but she seems completely unwilling to make really an effort at getting along with them...
and it really sounds like I'm getting played/used....hn...
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 4:08 pm
I would say as a rule of thumb, if the person doesn't care about you, you shouldn't care about him. This person, your best friend, tells you that you are not allowed to know anything about her...simply because you are not in a relationship with him? No, that is not okay! Things between you and your "mutual" friend do not seem...mutual anymore.
But if you truly value your relationship with your friend, you ought to say what is on your mind. Friends do not let friends go.
Oh, and about your friend wanting you to be friendly with her lover, and not vice-versa...I think you should tell her about, oh, I don't know...the Golden Rule? Treat others as you would like to be treated? If your friend wants you to be kind to her man, she should be kind to your other friend. Should your "mutual" friend disregard you, you should stop befriending her.
I don't like people who don't follow the Golden Rule. But you do as you wish; I can only give advice. Good luck with your decisions.
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 5:33 pm
Thank you. I guess all of this is stuff that I've had in my head for awhile, and somehow, hearing it come from other people, People who see the situation for the basics without memories, and friendships (still on, broken, or otherwise), with the people involved disrupting common sense and that sort of thing, It's helping me to kinda slap myself out of the funk, and out of a panicked, paranoid, fearful kind of state.
Now, I just hope I can hang onto the knowlegde, and not let myself get backed down. I've got rights too, and friends shouldn't try to use a 'do as I say, not as I do' kind of thing.
Thanks again, both of you.
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