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 Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:08 pm
How long had he brooded, unaware of the deeper cause of his inner tumult? Between the rising threat of the skinwalkers, and the ongoing tensions with his fellow kalona, when had he the time to think about Selene?
His darling little orphan, pretty beyond compare even in foalhood...when had she grown? And what else had he missed? The sight of her, as well as their acidic exchange had managed to take him just beyond disagreeable to outright unbearable.
He had not been himself, which was saying a great deal. And even he knew, somewhere deep inside, he was troubled by the things left unsaid with his former ward.
Deep in the heavy darkness of the thicket, only Cal's dazzling green eyes could be seen glinting in the moonlight as he watched the inhabitants of the forest move to and fro.
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Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:16 pm
Selene slunk through the woods, sniffing the air. Where was that annoying wind Soquili? She knew he'd chased her into the woods, having a fondness for grabbing her mane and holding it under his hoof while he talked. It was nice he liked spending time with her, but-
What had happened to companionable silence?!
She snorted, discontent, snapping at a moth as it floated by. That made her even angrier, thinking of one of the stallions she had thought of as father.
Calamity. He and Rahu had been her best friends, her examples, the ones she had wanted to grow up to be. Calamity had taught her to fly, had spoiled her with apples, taught her to hunt butterflies, and consoled her when she accidentally ate them, even though his body shook with laughter.
And then, that day... it had all been so cruel. She'd acted as a child, and his patience with her had snapped, breaking her heart. She'd been a foal only the day before, and he had expected her to grow so soon?
Ah, well. She had grown, yes. And now she was strong.
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Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:55 pm
Eyes glazed and unseeing, it was the scent of her that jarred him from his lethargy. She was searching for something or someone, and the intent look on her face...along with the prescence of a little moth...brought him back to memories of her as a filly. He'd hoped for something...for her to become something different and special. To set her apart from soquili and kalona alike.
Why he'd fathomed this expectation of her, he didn't understand. But that day, when just a few simple words cut him more than he'd expected, he shut down. He'd let her in too deep, and her ability to affect him so was at once frightening and intriguing. Beyond anything that could be helped, Selene had managed to get under Cal's skin, and he couldn't stand it.
He stood, rustling the brush around him slightly, and stepped into the relative light of the clearing. "Selene."
He spoke her name cooly and evenly, refusing the clever mare an opportunity to discern his emotions before he could get a bearing on hers. If she had learned anything from him beyond the obvious, it was that Cal was a fierce believer in the laws of leverage. It was the fundamental principle behind power and politics, and the gaining and preservation of leverage was of penultimate importance.
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Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:27 pm
Selene's glanced up, and she watched Calamity with clear eyes. Her head lifted, proud, and she settled her shoulders. "Hello, Calamity." Her voice was soft yet firm. She gifted him with a faint smile and a small bow. "It is a pleasure to see you again."
She looked the kalona over calmly, keeping her emotions, her confusion, tightly reigned in.
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:56 am
She'd been paying attention. Cal learned early on never to underestimate Selene's perceptive qualities, and he chanced a loud bark of laughter before relaxing his body slightly and stepped a bit farther forward.
"I hope you don't expect me to apologize." He gazed down at her through cocky, half-lidded eyes. She should have known him well enough by now to never expect him to humble himself in such a way. Even for her.
"..though I admit I might have misjudged you that day." He raised an eyebrow appraisingly and watched the mare he still considered a filly (for sentimental reasons he's never profess.)
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:14 pm
"Apologize for what?" She was serene, a little confused. Calamity had no reason to apologize to her. "For being true to yourself?" the statement was simple, nothing bitter in it. "And I will wait on being honored by your misjudgement until I know in which way you feel you misjudged." she commented. That came out a bit acidly.
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:32 pm
"You and I both. Because I haven't yet been disproved."
He circled the beautiful fluttercorn, tutting slightly. "For all your bravado and bravery, you don't fool me. You look like a wounded little filly to me, and I can't help but think this could all be put right if I simply apologize: for abandoning you, yelling at you in front of the crowd, belittling and acusing you of being just like ever other mare in the land."
He smiled here, softly but noticeably. "But to feign regret would be a greater insult to your intellect, would it not?"
He stopped pacing, turning to face her head on once more. "So we come to an impasse. Where do we move from here? What are the expectations and hopes we have in one another?"
If he came across mathematical and calcualtion, if wasn't with a impersonal intent. But unlike 99% of the other soquili with whom manipulation required finesse of language and emotion, Selene was very much a creature after his own heart and would be dealt with respectably and frankly.
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:56 pm
Selene's head tilted as she listened to him talk. "You're right." she said bluntly. "I would love to hear you say you were sorry, and on some level I think it would be true. But it would not be put all to right. I was a child, Calamity, I had just become a mare, and you accused me of being like mares who had been such since before I was a filly. Belittling me? If I was so easy to insult I would not be speaking to you right now. You were a vital, driving force while I was a child, and one does not forget their loyalties so easily. I trusted you, I loved you as family, and it hurt me deeply what you said."
She pondered. "I was so eager to grow up, so eager to please you, and hurt with the hurt of a child. I didn't know you had thought of me as an obligation. So my expectations of you are low. I don't want to impose. I'd just like..." she tilted her head again, thinking. "I would like to attempt to continue a friendship. I have missed you."
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:18 pm
"I have had very little need in my life in the way of friends, Selene. I was raised with an independent steak that serves almost as an antithesis for it. The obligation I felt toward you was identical to that which I feel towards my family. A duty to one's blood, as it were."
He sighed grudgingly and continued, closing his eyes and speaking deliberately. "Obligation is not a negative thing. But in the heat of our argument, I presented it to you thusly. You are not now nor have you ever been my friend, Selene. In youth, you were not mature enough to engage me on any other level but sheer curiousity. The bond I have with you, the bond that remains firm and unchanged to this day, is purely familial."
He nodded and opened his eyes once more, locking with her steely gaze. "Selene, for better or for worse I have taken you in as part of my family. You are of great importance to me because I chose you, just as you chose me in your youth. Whether or not you are able to look and move beyond a single argument is entirely up to you, but you ought to know you have gained an ally for life: it is my willing obligation to protect and stand by you now and always. Though it may no longer be necessary, it will always be a priviledge and option available to you."
Standing rigidly once more, he concluded with a snort, "As long as you know this, I feel we understand one another. Do you agree?"
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:25 pm
Selene's eyes loosened their taught appearance and she nodded. "I understand." she agreed. She extended her nose towards Calamity cautiously, the child she had been peeking out through her eyes, watching. "We are a family of choice. Not of blood. And that is supposed to be stronger, isn't it? At least, that's what I have been told. It may just be a romantic ideal."
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:32 pm
Hesistanting only momentarily, Cal touched his own nose to hers. She certainly hadn't gotten her propensity towards physical affection from him. But at least she wasn't trying to eat his tail. The very memory made his demeanor soften. "It is an ideal only because so few attain it. But it is very real, and it is stronger."
He pulled away and nodded encouragingly.
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:43 pm
She nodded in agreement. "So," she said finally, settling a bit. "What have you been doing? It has been quite a while since I last saw you."
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:50 pm
"I guess," he paused, considering carefully the reprocussions of what he was about to do, "if I were to 'pour out my soul', so to speak, it might as well be to you, child. And you might as well get used to me calling you that. I don't care if you're grown or not."
With a snort of finality on the subject of his nickname for her, Cal continued. "You might have noticed the recent resurgence of the kalona around here. Between Maeryn's strange desire to see our kind cooperating with one another, and the growing need to do so with the emergence of the Skinwalkers, tensions with my bretheren have been strained to say the least."
He smiled sardonically. "And apparently my 'weakness' for comingling with inferior soquili has done considerable damage to my standing among them."
He shook his head tiredly, weary of constantly thinking on how he should approach the problem. Looking at Selene, he rose an eyebrow wondering if she could even understand his predicament, let alone comment on the state of it.
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:10 pm
Selene tilted her head, pondering the dilemma. "Yes, I was there for some of the skinwalker dilemma." she didn't respond to being called child- after all, to him, she was a child. She remembered seeing the kalona bunched together, discussing. She could also remember Maeryn, a female kalona, with a black body, and if she was typical of her kind, a black heart.
"And what inferior soquili?" she snorted. "I personally haven't seen you associate with anyone who isn't a good one. Unless by inferior, they mean non-kalona." her brow furrowed.
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:36 pm
"You've not met another kalona, have you, Selene?" He'd hardly noticed the reference. "Yes, that is what was meant by 'inferior'. Kalona are proud to a fault, and give no regard to anyone that isn't like them. It seems foolish, doesn't it? But it can't be helped. And I can't be hypocritical about this...in many ways I agree."
"The crux of my problem is whether or not to join Maeryn's herd...and what that would entail. But those aren't problems that need be shared. I'll deal with them as I always have." He wondered idly why he'd decided to shield her from further discussion of the topic.
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