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 Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:15 pm
When I was 11 years old, I attended a shitty school in a shitty neighborhood. Long story short, sparing you all the groy details, I was snatched away by 3 grade 7 boys.
Only one had his way with me.
I've managed to tell my friends, and I told my ex-boyfriend, but I couldn't TELL them. I told them all about it, but I said that I wasn't actually raped. I feel that that is information that only I need to know.
I saw therapists after therapists, and eventually, I was working well. I've overcome alot of s**t in my life. I live everyday with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and a sugar disorder that is the absolute opposite of diabetes, and breaking my knee cap in 5 two years ago (re-constructive surgery and all...). I think I'm pretty damn hardy for a 15 year old female.
Recently, I broke it off with my boyfriend of 11 months. There were aspects that really affected me (such as him cheating), things that I wasn't intrested in. I was having troubles, and he was stressing me out, which really took it's toll on my gastro-intestinal track.
Recently, I haven't wanted him to touch me. We're trying to maintain a friendship, and I'm proud of my ability to not hide from my sexuality, but I don't want him to touch me. At all. Anywhere. When he does, things coem rushing back. I've never had this before. The detail the textures the sounds, the names. Everything.
I feel gross after being around him, and even though I've told him covertly to leave me alone, he won't.
I can deal with him, but I'm wondering, is this normal?
I'm apprehensive this will affect me with other guys. I'm scared that it'll happen at inconvenient times, and ruin my relationships.
This, again, isn't helping my digestive monsters. Any advice would eb helpful. I do not see a specialist anymore, and I'm told I don't need to. I have seen my doctor and he says it'll go away.
I just don't understand if it's only me, or what.
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Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 4:34 pm
Well it's certainly normal, don't worry about that at all.
The problem, really, is how it's affecting you. When it's to the point where any kind of physical contact from a male causes you to freak out, you need to do something about it. I've never had personal experience with this sort of thing and anyway it's different for every person so I don't know what exactly I can tell you to do to make you feel better. All I can suggest is that you tell the whole truth to someone you care about and see if you can help by getting it all out.
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:54 pm
it is perfectly normal to freak out when someone touches you, no matter who it is. The best thing to do is to talk to someone about it for now, and see if time heals this wound. The only way to fully overcome this phobia, though, is to let someone 'touch' you, but it doesn't need to be immediate. When/if you choose to do this, make sure it is someone you trust, and someone who will go slow and stop if it gets too freaky for you.
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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:32 pm
I've got a simple question.
Are you an anti-depressants?
I don't ask because I think you need them, but because when I took Zoloft, I couldn't stand for my husband to touch me. Even a hug was uncomfortable. It was the "reduced sex drive" side effect of Zoloft, but to an extreme.
If you are on anti-depressants, you may try switching those.
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:35 pm
Unless you think it's a bad thing, like bad memories coming back to you, I don't see anything wrong with it...
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