|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 7:56 pm
SO many things in Pendragon are unexplained. Instead of dsicussing theories, I have decided to write a fanfic of what I think happened before pendragon. "No", Dane said to the small, glowing box on the table. He was tweaking his experiment and making mandatory monthly check ups. He put his full heart into this job; science was his true passion. Listening to Press fool around right now he did not have time for, so instead of answering with a freindly hello, when the name "Press" flashed up on the communication box, or CB, he told Press flat out that he had no time to talk to him right now. Surprisingly, instead of Press' familiar voice, he heard a female voice. She was singing the lyrics to a song that he could hear in the background. He tried to concentrate but eventually gave up and reluctantly dropped the tools as he walked over to the CB and sighed. "Ninka, you can shut up now" he rolled his eyes lazilly. Ninka was Press' overlly excited girlfriend. She was one of those people you stare at and wonder how it is possible to have the time and energy to do everything she does. "Dane! Press and I are going over to the town center. Wanna come? They're having a celebration tonight" "umm" dane replied, "I'm not sure if I can. I've got lots of work to do ony my ex- "Oh come on dane, are you really that much of a geek? I'm coming. I'll be there in 40." Great. Only 40 hinfs to get ready. He put the experiment away sadly, promising himself that he would work on it later. He quickly bathed and got into his clothes. 37 hinfs later, He walked into the yard and saw the sunbelt stretch across the sky. (In my thinking, 1 hinf is about 45 second.) Press and Ninka appeared from the water canal in the skimmer. Dane walked out and hopped into the vehicle. Press started driving. "So, whats the latest experiment? Did you have another encounter with gravity, Daney, huh? Did you accidentally lose your experiment becuase it reversed gravity and you were to ashamed to show it again? Dane hung his head. She didn't have to bring up his one failed experiment all the time.Years ago, he had tried to create a machine that if you put an object in the center he object would lift, defying gravity. This was a mistake. It was to powerful. His entire housing unit flipped and everything overturend, causing all of his possestions to change position and run tnto each other, some of the collisions beinf fatal to the poor object. IT was his only experiment ever gone wrong. Press knew how soft Dane was on that subject. "Ninka, why can't you just leave him be? The test said that he is one of the top 2 greatest thinkers in all of Chikark*. Remind me again who is the other one of the two who YOU are dating and scored equally as him??" "you were press" "and remind me again who scored in the average percentile of the results?" "I did, but I don- "Ninka, you wanted to date me. You promised to show me respect. Dane is like part of me. Treat him as you would me."
Ninka had nothing to say to that. She hung her head for most of the remaining time. "So Dane" Press Said "Hows the new experiment coming" "Oh, its going great!" Dane said to Press. "I can't beleive it. I was doing my check ups on the experiment from last year when you beeped- you know which one I'm talking about. I beleive I have memorized its entire structure. I can make it any time I want." "Thats conveinient." Press replied "I know." Dane said. "Anyways, beofore the checkup was do, I discovered something amazing. I discovered that err..... "What?" Press said, eager to hear what his best friend had discovered. "I'm not sure if I can- err-" Dane studdered "Spit it out, Dane!" "Ninka..." was all he managed to get out. "oh." press said, understanding. "later." Ninka shot them both a look. After a few moments of silence, Ninka calmy said to Press "How come I can't hear?" Press replied with "it's confidential stuff, ninka. We know you could, but we can never trust that you are always the right one to overhear our plann-" Ninka interupted "bull! YOu know I could take it? Why don't you trust me? Are you two too smart? Would someone of my inferior intellect be lost and explode with your complicated dialouge? Is that what you think?" And the rest of the drive went by with Ninka and Press exchaning heated words such as those, Dane sitting in the back seat, admiring NInka. "Her eyes. They were so beautiful Even when she was mad. She was so pretty. she-
"Wake up dane!" He must have fallen aslepe admiring Ninka. He touched his chin to make sure there was no drule. Luckily, he was drule free. He got out of the skimmer and walked towards town.
I'm ending it here for now guys. It's late, and I'm going to bed. Please don't make predictions or anything. I'm trying to make this, I know whats gonna happen. Please only give me constructive critism ON MY WRITING, NOT THE PLOT. Please don't discuss it eaither: discussion leads to misleading and prodictions when you're readin an 1/8 of a fanfiction.
PS- don't commment on spelling. I'm not even trying to proofread it, so I know lots of words are wrong.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:38 pm
It's good overall and I do the same thing when I'm sleepy, but you could've put more detail into it! All I reccomend is adding to this when you have the chance to make things more clear, like how the skimmer looks like, and a short description of the lab. This is totally optional, but it would help to know how Saint Dane and Press looked like back then! Everything is great so far! Keep up the good work. One more thing... explain this Ninka character for us, all I know is she's dating Press, she's beautiful and has a flambouyant personality...
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:04 am
The_Incognito_Man It's good overall and I do the same thing when I'm sleepy, but you could've put more detail into it! All I reccomend is adding to this when you have the chance to make things more clear, like how the skimmer looks like, and a short description of the lab. This is totally optional, but it would help to know how Saint Dane and Press looked like back then! Everything is great so far! Keep up the good work. One more thing... explain this Ninka character for us, all I know is she's dating Press, she's beautiful and has a flambouyant personality... lol. I know. But how the story goes It wouldn't work If I described the lab right now...
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|