|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:39 pm
This is a story I came up with a LOOONNNGGG time ago(6th grade?), in which a few friends helped out with. I dont have all of it typed up, as I'm actually working typing up the actual story(the first draft was all just them talking, no actions included). Please, comment when you like, and i'll just keep adding stuff whenever I've typed it up.
I've wanted to make this into a manga, or even a movie, but thats kinda hard when A. You arent finished with it, and B. Havn't worked on it sufficiantly enough. I dunno... I just may make it into a book, since that seems like the path i'm following.
.:ToC:. 1. Intro, ToC 2. Story Information 3. Art 4. Prologue
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:53 pm
:Story information:
-Characters: There are several 'main' characters in this story. Each one usually is introduced at a different time in the story then anyone else, so it may take time to get to all of them.
Kadente Yamiten Yukura Kimachiin Hiente Tomtier Shiru Meikuse Monoiro Yassahoke Akiru Massano Meko Deliana
(descriptions will be added later)
-The world: The world our story begins in is strange, indeed. Two primitive races rule: Humans and Demons. The Humans are our very own Homosaepians, and the Demons are actually what one would concider a Furry, or Anthro, or whatever. They have the same build as a human, but animal inhancements mark them apart. An interesting thing about the Demons are their birthmarks. Strangely enough, they tend to take the form of some symbol or shape. Each mark is unique to everyone else, though, and there is no repeat of any birthmark amungst the Demons.
The actual timeline of the story is more of a fudel-japan, mixed with some modern technology. Kimonos, Yukatas, T-shirts, pants, tunics, and anything between that range is our wardrobe. Houses can be simple tin huts, or mansions. Lightbulbs, Microwaves, modern ovens, are some of the advanced technology they have created. There is no such a thing as a car, as riding horseback, or walking, does just fine.
(Any more information about the story will be added here)
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:56 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 6:23 pm
. razz rologue:.
Once upon a time, there was a Wolf Demon named Kadente Yamiten. He was a feared demon in the lands of Atrianarc, and the surrounding villages, because he was known to cause famine and destruction wherever he went. Some even thought he was a god, punishing them for their sins.
Little was actually known about the wolf boy. Descriptions, they knew well enough. Long black hair, black wolfs ears, and a black wolf's tail with white on the end. Nobody could forget his piercing golden eyes, either. If he wasnt concidered one of the most dangerous criminals out there, he probably would have been surounded by the lady-wolves.
What wasnt known was probably what would have kept the young demon away. At a young age, Kadente's parents were killed in front of him and his siblings. Kadente had never really liked humans before, so naturally, he blamed their deaths' on them. Wanting revenge, he destroyed and plundered every human village he found.
After a while, the villages became tired at Kadente's antics, and planned an attack. They would kill the wolf demon to repay for everything that was lost to him. Gathering their greatest warriors, they set a trap, and waited. The wolf bit: The trap was sprung.
Being a strong and agile demon, Kadente was able to fight his way to the forest without too much harm, but he was badly wounded. He wandered as fast and far away from the trap-village as possible and collapsed on the exposed roots of a tree. Resting there, he deturmined the extent of his wounds, then passed out.
Meanwhile, in another village nearby, A young Fox demon, named Yukura, was sent out to gather things from the forest. She spied a figure resting on some exposed tree roots. Curious, she moved closer to investigate, and found a wounded Wolf demon. This is where our tale starts.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:30 am
I have some suggesstions and such...and I hope I'm not being too forward...*Coughs* Ahem. Well...The basic idea and the language choice is pretty good. It needs a lot more detail though. I'm not suer if you're leaving hte detail for when you actually get into the story...and this is just a preface...but there is a lot unexplained. If you want to save the explanations for later, that is cool and all...but otherwise they should be there. Things like what the land of Atrianarc is like? Why are there only villages and no large cities(is it a mountaineous region?). How old is Kadente? Who are Kadente's siblings? Where are the siblings now? How was he wounded? Describe the fight...I could go on and on. If you're intentionally leaving it unexplained though, you're doing a very good job of making me curious. 3nodding Hopefully you'll write more...and soon. If my comments are unwanted or not helpful at all...I can try again or just not comment. ^^ Thanks~
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|