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Sarroun

PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 9:30 am


I am in love with two guy's who I perfer to keep nameless for the moment. They both want me but I don't know what to do about it becuase I love them both equally. Can one of you guy's please help me
PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 11:58 am


You said that you loved them both equally, but do they return that love equally as well?

I'm not experienced in this type of situation at all, but it sounds to me like all you can do is wait out the stalemate. It would probably best to limit time with either one until you can fully sort out everything, especially if they aren't aware of what's happening. That way your decision, if you insist on making it ASAP, won't be swayed as much one way or another.

You're probably well aware of the risks in making a choice, so I won't bother with them. It's a good sign that you're asking for advice, and I just hope that someone here has a better solution for your problem.

Good luck, and welcome to the Guild. wink

Keithing
Crew


Asghar

PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 2:15 pm


I agree with what Keithing said but I have an idea that may also work. Do not ask them to be your boyfriend. Instead ask each one, separately of course, to go out on a date. True dating seems to be rare these days. But take each one out on a date and see if that helps narrow it down. If it does the other one won't be so hurt as it was only a date and friends can go on dates with friends if they are both single. Stay friends with both though. Good luck to you with whatever you decide.
PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 10:05 pm


That sucks. I get confused enough when one guy (or girl or fish) says they like me, let alone two...

Do these guys know each other. I mean, are they openly competing with each other for your affections? (Why...do I suddenly feel like I'm in a Jane Austen novel? >_< I'm sorry. I know this is a serious issue. I don't mean to make light of it.)

Astri
Crew


Montigo Dominic

PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 4:47 am


Asghar
True dating seems to be rare these days.
So very true. Mostly people just ask someone out, and from that moment it is a relationship. And of course it usually fails because you never knew enough about each other.
It is wise to follow the old dating method, though if they have the mindset that a date is a relationship, then you have the problem of them thinking you are cheating if you date the other.
PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 11:33 am


Montigo Dominic
So very true. Mostly people just ask someone out, and from that moment it is a relationship.


That's funny. I've actually had people who I've dated but not liked consider themselves my exes, and I'm all like, "We were never together. We only went on a date." Oy.

Anyway, Asghar is in the right here. You know them as friends, get to know them as date-partners and as potential lovers. Unless you've already done so, you won't know who you're more likely to have the successful relationship with. Ultimately, though, you're going to have to choose between them. There's no denying the inevitability of that, unless they're willing to go polyamorously with you, which few of us in the Western world are generally willing to do.

Just be ready for that. Someone will have to be hurt a little now, and that's better than both being hurt a lot later, which is what will happen if you keep this situation as it is indefinitely. Good luck, and welcome to the guild.

JoVo


Montigo Dominic

PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 2:53 pm


JoVo
Montigo Dominic
So very true. Mostly people just ask someone out, and from that moment it is a relationship.


That's funny. I've actually had people who I've dated but not liked consider themselves my exes, and I'm all like, "We were never together. We only went on a date." Oy.

You are living proof to support my say!
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2005 2:15 pm


Yeah you have to decide whether or not you like them both equally romantically. Good luck with that whole situation you're going to need a lot of it. Remember though you are under no obligation to actually date either of them just because they like you. If you want to try to just remain friends thats your perrogative. Although in all honesty it's not always easy to do.

Its time to migrate


Sarroun

PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2005 8:37 am


I would ask them out on a date if they were not both online LOL
PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2005 10:59 pm


Sarroun
I would ask them out on a date if they were not both online LOL


Unless you live within limits for actual dating I would worry more about them as friends. As online or long distance dating is increadably difficult and tricky with one person and no potential friction. With two going after you from afar and potentially competeing for your online affections seems disaterous to any dialogue you may have going.

Ultimately if you want more than generic advice you will have to give more details about the situation. Not necisarilly names but like relative distances and how long you have known these people and where from. Thing to better help appraise the situation.

Its time to migrate


Suichi Shindou

PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2005 5:50 pm


all u have to do is find out wich one is better for u...not which one u like more...and also u have to find out wich one of them loves u more
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