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 Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 6:30 pm
*Dark black eyes laced with dried sleep softly opened as they gazed out at the world before them. Softly they flickered as the evening’s winds passed them; curled softly into a ball like fashion laid Tajwar. She was alone- her pup was not with her. Her mixed colored pelt softly brushed up against the dried grasses as she moved herself upward. Her body was tinted with a fine layer of dirt and dried mud. She looked awful and thin; showing off her lack of hunt. The once death-defying female had now fallen into a dark place, lost within her own sorrow and grief; weeks had passed and those weeks had turned into mouths and those months had slowly eaten away at her. She had not seen Ses in so long; she was forgetting the sound of his voice- and her pups…
Tajwar was ashamed to say she could only account for two of them- wait one of them now. She had let the dark wolf called Yazid take Ali’ka… because this mother felt she couldn’t take care of her- not in the state that she was in right now. She felt no regret in doing what she did though… Tajwar would not let such emotions pass her. The dull female slowly lifted herself up and with a soft sigh started to pad away from her resting place beside the old, muddy waterhole. Her body ached and her mind lay blank. She was fading- and she could feel herself lose grip-
It seemed like hours had passed now, as she slowly walked onward; Tajwar only stopped to gaze up at the old tree that she and her old friend Usu use to sit under. Here is where they spoke of life and sorrow- this was the place that she had first come in contact with the young male. He was so kind to her- and she had hurt him. She was young and foolish and because of this she harmed her friend and mated with Ses and lost everything. She was a bad mother and a horrible mate. With a deep sigh the tired wolf sat herself under the old tree. Her chest softly pushed up and down as she relaxed herself against the tree’s bark. She could rest for a while- Tajwar after all was going no where fast.*
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 11:34 am
Usu yawned, he could still not believe what he had done or rather what happened to him. He lucked out having Saa forgive him for his aweful sin, what could he do? His will was weak and he...the other he preyed on it. He got free and comitted the sin while he died inside with each passing moment. Usu knows what he had done, he knew what was going to happen, and he knew what was in store for the future. He mated with Sikitu, she was going to have pups, and those pups will one day come for their father. The seer feared he had gotten himself in over his head more than ever. He failed to obtain Tajwar's love before Sesere. He failed to keep Zingatia and Saa'trayri together with their family. He failed as a friend and a lover. All he could do now was watch out for his friends and be there for their families...or try to.
Luckily, Saa was taking care of the pups tonight. Potevu was already a handful herself in her engery bundle of fur. Kibu was usually resting so that lightened the load. Beluwa was different. He loved to inflict pain, pain was what he did best and Usu was the one that was taking it. Now without Usu being there, Saa would be the center of the hurtful feeling. Usu would have to apologize for that later supposidly. Now he was just free to do as he wished for a while. It was rare occasions but he always headed to one place, to his home and well...home. He cane feel the Acacia tree calling out to him, he knew it wanted him back. Strangely, another scent was carried with his message. A female's scent. It was so familiar and gentle, but who it belonged to was almost forgotten, vague in his mind. Clouded and blocked out by the images that constantly hovered in his mind with his visions. A seer's life is not one of happiness. He wished he could remember, but they were hidden beneath it all.
As he walked along to path, he kept pushing deeper and deeper into his mind to find out who's scent it was. Pushing out the images or other animals, the names of other beings, and the cries of pain and happiness from the future, present, and the past. Who was it? What were they doing there? Was he fated to return there for them? What if it is Yazid? What if it was Sesere? What if it was Zingatia claiming it as his own? What if it was...Tajwar?
"Tajwar...." The grey wolf whispered. His first of his three loves. Before Saa and Sikki was Taj. He loved her a lot, but he kept pushing her away from him, more like Ses intiminated him. But when he finally gathered the courage to tell her his feelings, he was rejected by the truth. She was mated with Sesere and was expecting cubs. What else could he do for her but be there for them....but that didn't happen. He was so lost and in so lost track of his first friends. Zing, Saa, Sikki, Pot, Kibu, Beluwa....it was just overwhelming. It would seem trying to juggle it all was not possible and he let down all of those he loved. His home was where it all started. Taj and Sesere, Zing, Saa, and Sikki. It was a constant reminder to him of what he could not do and what he could only do to make up for it.
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 7:27 pm
*A heavy sigh passed her chest as she slowly lifted her gaze. Vaguely she could make out another in the distance. She didn’t move though- Tajwar didn’t care much for company anymore. Her soul was tattered and it felt as the all of the pieces and parts that had made up her heart had been scatter through out the lands. Her love, as well as her lust for life had left her- and now followed the paths of her loved ones. Ses took her happiness and carried it with him, where every he went- she prayed that it would follow him. Her pride and her joy broke up into tiny pieces and went with her pups- because no matter how bad of a mother she was- she would always take pride in her young ones- and would love them no matter what.
Her love followed the paths of her family; Her pups, Ses, and Usu. The ones that had showed her love and affection were the ones that she loved deeply. Even now she hoped that they all were safe and happy. The last time she had seen Ses, he had taken one of the pups- they didn’t talk much before this so when he left… he left without a goodbye. Tajwar was torn and confused. Her sons were off someplace, happy she hoped- and Ali’ka… she was safe- Tajwar put her trust into the wolf called Yazid. As for her old friend Tajwar had left him on a bitter note, and had not seen him in what felt like a life time.
She pushed herself away from everyone and everything. Inside she was damaged and lost. Softly she pulled her gaze back and let all of her thoughts fade. Her black orbs gazed back to the form that slowly made its way closer to her. She shifted and frowned; her dirty pelt rubbed along the side of the tree as she gasped- this must have been a dream- was she really seeing what she thought she saw? Or was her mind playing games with her? She could swear that before her very eyes stood Usu. She was embarrassed and hurt; this much could be seen as she softly pulled herself away from him and hid behind the tree. Tajwar was a mess in both mind and body; and she was ashamed to be seen in such a way. Softly she whimpered to herself and tucked her tail between her hind legs, doing her best to stay out of sight.
Why was Usu here? Had he followed her sent or was this simply an act of some god? With a soft frown the female looked back over to him and spoke softly, so that only her ears could hear.*
“Please… don’t.”
*She was so use to being hurt now… was he going to hurt her too? Her last words to him made her sick inside… Usu had every right to hate her- but then again… Tajwar also had the right to be upset with him. He had changed so much… and harmed her without even knowing it- they had both done wrong… and so here they were sins and all. What would become of this silent battle?- would he come to her only to kick her when she is down- or will he stay and try to reason with her? Whatever was going to happen... the female wolf felt her body quiver under the pressure. She would take whatever he had to say… it was the least she could do after all.*
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 11:49 am
Usu sighed softly and got himself closer to her. He had wronged her more than anyone else. She was the one and only wolf to delve deep into him and dig up his past. She was the first to capture his heart, and the first to break it again. It seemed that most of his new life revolved around her in some way. Even in his dreams he dreams of "Love" but....she didn't need to know that. Why did her spirit call herself that? She was the one who mated with Sesere. She was the one who had the five pups. She was the one who made those decisions. She was the one who asked him to be her litter's god-father. She was the one who dismissed him of that duty. She was the one who rejected him when he gathered his courage to tell her that he felt something for her...or was it he who was too late. He has wronged her, she did nothing to him. This was his fault.
Now beside her, he nudged her with a soft whine.
"Taj...we have to talk..."
a tone of sorrow, fright, shaky, and yet bold and warm. Usu's blue eyes looked over her frail body. She was so thin and emaciated. Has she really let herself this far? Sesere told him they weren't together anymore...but he didn't think she was alone. With five pups, one would believe at least one would have stuck with her or she taken one.
"Tajwar?"
he called, looking over to her hoping he can get at least a glimpse of the eyes he once loved and now dreams of. Everynight during his night vision, he sees those magnificant eyes flash occasionally making him stir in the night beside the pups and Saa. However, he had never spoke of them.
Saa had Zing, he knew that. Zing would come back for her, he knew he would or was it just a foolish hope of it. ZIng was the father of Beluwa, Potevu, and Kibu. Usu was their god-father, even if he was sort of a fatherly figure to the three. But he knew his place was not as their father since their's were still alive. How could his delusion of being with a wolf twice his age be his mate? Sure he loved her just as much as Taj, but...he just felt that he could not be her "Prophet". If he did mate with her, she would be able to go home to her pack just as they wanted her to do to atone for her sin. But what he but a tool in that relationship? He wanted to be with her but Zing and the pups, what would they think? What would other think of him? A whore, that is what. Mating with Sikki, now pregnate with his pups. Mating with Saa to allow her to return to her pack and carry his essance. He had his own sins to atone. And they were all around him.
Usu took a deep breath and exhaled.
"Taj....I love you."
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 5:55 pm
Bad news was on the horizon, in the form of a grizzly old wolf. He'd never turned out as bad as Taj, and probably never would... Ses was used to abandonment, heartbreak, being alone, et cetra. Not that Taj had ever abandoned him... they had sort of abandoned each other in a sense, neither meaning to. He hoped to the gods that Taj had never ment to disappear like that...
He was bothing begging and dreading the day when he returned to his love, to his companion and to his best friend. To his children, his family. Begging for it because of how his heart ached, how it yearned to be with them again, even if he could not be a proper father. Dreaded it because he felt as though they would all hate him, and he couldn't blame them for that.
He had done a poor job of protecting his family, loving them... and most literarily, being there for them. Dangling from his mouth was a slightly curled, skinny little pup. Boney, but not malnourished. It was just the way she'd grown. She was dirty and had twigs and such sticking from her rather messy coat, and it was obvious Ses had no idea how to clean a little one. He was pretty rough looking himself, scarred up in different areas, dirty.. only a tad skinnier than when he'd last been with Taj.
His golden gaze suddenly spotted a pair below, his heart slamming hard up against his rib cage. So hard he thought that they would all crack, crack into millions of little pieces. So hard that his heart was going to burst, and he'd fall dead before he ever made it to taj.
His paws began to pick up spead and he was just getting there as the two were meeting. He just caught the tail end of love you. His eyes widened and he stopped dead in his tracks, his tromp over there wouldn't go unnoticed at all. He was roughly ten feet, maybe fiveteen feet away from them. It took him quite a bit of will not to drop the sleeping pup and go for Usu's ******** throat.
What the hell was going on here?
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Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:24 am
Usu sighed and sat beside the female wolf. He had hurt her. He thought if she was with Sesere, an older and stronger wolf, she would better off rather than be with a young weak wolf. Usu has grown stronger, stronger to withstand his strongest visions and perhaps protect those he loved. Now he just wanted to be there for his friends, or at least do his best for them. All he could do was comfort them, he has not gotten further than that in any relationship.
"Taj...I'm sorry for what I have done to you, if anything I wish I could take it all back to prevent you from suffering any more."
He said softly before his shoulder twitched. A smile crept on his maw and he looked down to her.
"It would seem that we have some familiar company."
He murmured. His blue eyes glanced over her body and then over his shoulder. He knew Sesere was coming and he had a feeling Zaini wasn't too far from him if not with. Unfortunately, the vision was slight and so all he could see was the two coming toward them and nothing more. If this was how it was going to be then this is how it was.
However, Usu is gonna have a paw in this game of fate. He will try to alter it the best he can so all can be happy or at least a little.
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Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:42 am
*At his sudden outburst of words Tajwar softly padded back ward and eyed him down. Her body felt very confused. Had he just said what she thought he said- but… why? Usu couldn’t possibly love her, he loved the other females he kept- she could smell it. All the while thought Tajwar couldn’t help but long to hear those words… it had been so long and the memory of what the words meant was slowly fading. Her body slowed and with in minutes she was no longer moving away. She had connection with this male…it was hard for her to leave… or yell at him. She couldn’t summon up any hateful words to say to him- She simple stood there with wide eyes.
“Do-don’t say things like that to me… if you don’t mean them. Please- just because… I am like this now… do-doesn’t mean you can play with my heart… even if it’s to help me.- Don’t say words you do not… mean.”
*She couldn’t really understand why he would say that- what did she have to offer anyway? With a soft whimper she moved herself a bit closer to him and spoke.*
“..Usu…”
*Just as she was about to speak again though, she was cut off by his words. Someone else was here? Tajwar didn’t really care right now… she just wanted to be held- she wanted some company… she longed to hear kind words… to flirt and to be adored. Giving into all of her female feelings the female nuzzled herself beside Usu. Her body quivered softly as she spoke.*
“You take care."
*Tajwar’s nose was not what it use to be- so she couldn’t smell the sent of the large wolf that slowly made his way to the two... But that didn’t much matter right now. As soon as she spoke to her friend she moved herself up and without any good-bye walked off. She move fast enough so that no one else could follow her.**
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