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What am i going through?

Emotionally:
There have been alot of emotional bonds being broken recently with the end of school and start of exams, although i am determined not to lose contact with my friends, i wont see them in the same way again, there wont be another english leson where i have to wake them up(or vice-versa) or a breaktime just talking. Let me warn you all(or those who are yet to leave school) the end of school is either another day, or an extremely emotional day, there is not much inbetween, yes, i cried, my friends have been so good to me, i love them all, i hate this end and i am now wishing i hadnt wasted my earlier years in school.
Emotions are very hard things to control, we can keep ontop of them for a while, but in the end, theyll just flood out and become uncontrollable, The lord helps here by keeping us sane and stops us from breaking down completely if we let him.

Spiritually:
I have been going through some rough times recently with my feelings for one person in particular, The lord has had to show me that i am to put him first, not her, that i must pray for her to see the Lords glory and powwer, become intrigued and come along to my Church, i am not to try doing things my way.

I guess ive just had a rough time alltogether, alot of stress and worry over such small things in life can build up to a mountain in no time at all. Always pray that the lord will keep you strong through times of struggle and suffering.

hmm me personally, i guess i kinda have a lot going on, but at the same time i dont, since i dont do much the only thing that i have to look forward to right now is touring with my friends band, were suppose to go on a 3 week stint up to Illionios if im right, all i need to do is have 200-300 dollars for food, then im good, and thats the only real thing that im kinda stressing over, cuz im gonna have to ask my dad if he can help out with that, plus after i get back from that, im gonna have to get a job to help with the upkeep of my car, and to help pay for the insurance, but other than that, i see nothing else really

but spiritually, im prolly even more stressed out, because ive noticed that ive become somewhat numb, i know what im doing, its just that i doesnt seem to bother me as much anymore, ive grown complacent, and that bothers me, but obviously not enough for me to get up and do something about it, and i know that being in a band thats suppose to be out there winning souls for the Lord, i am in no state to be doing be that, and maybe thats why my band hasnt taken off yet, who knows, but it seems like we may not be together too much longer, my bassist is gonna have one hell of a time trying to keep act together, i mean no offense to him, but he still does slip alot, and he's been telling me more and more now, and in a way, i feel betrayed because this is suppose to be my war buddy yaknow, were suppose to help everyone out and be there for each other, and i feel that since he wouldnt let me do that, that he must not trust me, and with my guitarist, his mom continually gets on for THE STUPIDEST CRAP IN THE WORLD!!!! i mean me and bassist know that its just retarded what she grounds him for, even my mom is shocked, but i kinda see his mom as being a wedge that will never let us truly get up on our feet and do something, cuz once we start clicking as a group, she'll find something to ground him for 2 weeks, and there goes our complete rhythm, so in a way, i wish God would shed some light on this situation, because ive had to think about asking my bassist to leave the band before because of how he seems to continually slip up, and i mean im no saint either, but i feel kinda like that we're just a joke, i mean here we are trying to be a willing vessel, and here we are doing anything but that....i mean honestly i love these guys, these guys are my adopted brothers (not literally, but were family no less) and i dont know what to do anymore, in a way i feel that im just gonna break down and just say to hell with this, but i know that i cant, i just need a lil more light to shine on this situation

Um Isaac, pehaps your problem in the band is the band, i mean, perhaps you need to get together, without instruments or music or ANY other distraction, and pray as a group, focus on what you think you should be doing and ask the Lord for clarifacation on these issues, individually, then at the end, get together and talk, just talk, no arguments, listen to everyone, write everything down. Just keep praying over it for a while, the answers will come, they may not be the answers you expected which is why you havnt recieved them yet. Perhaps you are all being too eager and you need to stop and think, is this ALL for the Lord, EVERYTHING, nothing is for yourself, It may be YOUR band, but who gave you the talent to form it??
This is just a suggestion, you dont have to take it.

Its just my opinion, but perhaps the Lord is causing your Guitarrist to be grounded when you move a little, perhaps your moving in your own strength and this is the only way the Lord can get through to you at the moment, again, this is just a suggestion, not definate, take it or leave it, up to you!.

all i can say is that although i dont know what you are going through, i understand, I dont think these people are killing themselves so you can get closer to God, but you must remember, God loves each and every person so much, he lets them run their own lives, he set the guidelines, if they dont obey, he wont stop them, he loves them too much.

Sorry, its not much i know, but i cant say much else cept, ill pray whenever i can

um, i havnt really been in LTFF since it moved outa the old guild system, ill have to get back there soon, but it got too confusing with me having been away for so long and suddenly, there were more than 1000 members

well see with the guys in my band, its our own personal walks that gets involved with our practice and playing time, i mean some of us are just in no way shape or form (in my opinion) capable of handling such a responsibility, and me personally, its like, ok guys lets get on the ball here, lets go, cuz in practice i always ask them, ok what should we do next? and theyre just well, eh whatever, and to me thats not putting in effort, that and plus my bassist just keeps putting in excuses after excuses about having to miss practice, and honestly, whats hard is to separate the band member from the friend, cuz in a way im in a situation, that if i wanted him out, i cant exactly boot him without damaging our friendship, and ive talked about this with my mom alot, and she told me that God will remove him for me, when and if the time is right, and i believe that, its just that ive been at this for sooo long now, and i really hoped to be playing this summer, but i guess God has bigger things in mind now, heh my mom says that she sees me playing with the band that im gonna be touring with next month, and honestly for me that would be like a dreamer being called up to the big leagues, but i mean all these things with my band have been happening since like the middle of last year, for me its almost like....ok God, something has to give here, ive spent almost 3 grand into guitars and equipment, and its not like im doing this for nothing either, im doing all this in faith knowing that God has a reason for me going all this way for nothing yaknow, its frustrating/stressful and prolly needed for a lesson that i need to learn, but i mean whatever God wants to be done, its fine with me

That's a good point.