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According to a retarded 'online pregnacy test'- which just spits out a probability of you being pregnant, based on a series of questions you answer- I am 4 weeks pregnant.
Tender/swollen breasts, sort of bloated feeling, nausea and that 'feeling' that something's off. Pull out method. Shits and giggles. But we do love eachother dearly. We want kids, just not quite yet.
I actually dont know if Im pregnant for sure yet. However, Im taking these few days before I venture to buy a test to feel like a mother. To feel like Im responsible for another human being, and caring for a life, whether or not its actually there.
Over the passed 5 years, Ive had 4 pregnancy scares, and in retrospect, I think Ive sort of convinced myself that I was pregnant. This time around, I tried to be more aware of my train of thought, and tried to stay very neutral.

There are two sides of this, in my opinion.
One side of me is going absolutely insane. I dont know if the rest of my life will revolve around a child. I dont know if Im ready for this sort of responsibility. My mate is still in school. Can I afford it? Will I be able to carry to term? Should I be worried about anything?
On the other hand..
I may be having a child. I'll have a person that will depend on me, and I can provide for him. Motherhood is beautiful. Im carrying the baby of the man I love and plan to marry. If I carry to term, I'll have the baby around the time he's out of school. =D

Just wondering if anyone has gone through this. I sort of feel like Im floating. And I do little things as to not harm my maybe-baby. Try not to lay on my belly for too long. Quit smoking. Quit drinking. Eating healthier. Better sleep schedule. Being more active. Trying not to get stressed out about work.

Just for reference, I believe I conceived on the 16th. Since then, we have had unprotected sex four times. First day of my last period was the 2nd of this month. Had spotting- which could be implantation bleeding- around the 23rd. Lasted two days. Well. Didnt really 'last'. It wasnt a flow. Just.. Spotting.
Plan on buying a test Thursday, taking it Saturday morning. If its negative, I'll take another if I dont get my period by the 5th. If its positive. Well. I have a lot of thinking to do. And talking. And planning. And I'll definately get myself to a doctor. =0

Posting because, well, I sort of need to vent. And I figured I could do it here, and still get some words of wisdom, similar stories, things of that nature. <3

I have been there wieghing options before I knew because I wanted to be prepared it was good for me but I felt guilty because I resigned myself to the fact that I had to keep personally I had no other options. which left my the fiance kind of in a corner he either had to be a dad or leave me. It all worked out better than I ever would have expected them we are very happy married and living together on our own with our son. Anyways goodluck.