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 Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 10:04 pm
Alright, well, this has been on my mind... so I was wondering... Is love a feeling, or is it more than that? Because how I love God isn't a weird 'butterfly' feeling that most girls would describe when they're around their boyfriend. When I love God, I see what He's done for me, and I have a choice to love Him or not.
So, connecting to that... I have a crush. And I'm completely confused, because I don't like him in a 'butterfly' way, but in a way that I can see him for who he is, and like him for that. Is it odd that I don't get goosebumps, but still can smile around him? I don't know...
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Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 10:16 pm
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us that "love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude; it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." It is not a feeling; it is a verb.
Now, my experience with love as far as boyfriends goes isn't so good, because I myself don't understand it, or know what to expect from it. It didn't help that my ex was constantly telling me I was over-analyzing and doing the love thing wrong. I can't really explain that part because I'm confused myself. For example, if you love a person, you do all sorts of things for them, etc. but you can do those things also with no motivation behind it, and then they become empty expressions. So if love is a verb, what's the difference between doing things out of love and doing things out of obligation. From the outside they both look like love. Does it then go back to some sort of "feeling?"
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High-functioning Businesswoman
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Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 10:30 pm
Crush is where you find someone attractive. Physically attractive, attractive personality, it's all attractive. You like that person, but not exactly as a friend.
Love is where you get to know the person and you want to spend the rest of your life with them and you would do anything for them.
At least that's what the media tells me, I've only ever had crushes. I've never been in love.
The difference between doing something out of love and out of obligation is when you do something out of love you want to do it, and when you when you do something out of obligation you feel like you should do it.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 9:34 am
Wow, you guys... That actually helps more than I thought it would... But seriously, I think I have a little bit of a better idea of what love is now... Thanks, I owe you guys a cookie. mrgreen
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:34 am
@Fushigi: That is def my fave verse EVER
@super_hott: I am also not one to give advice on boyfriend stuff... but...
I have kinda a weird view on love. I believe in different kinds of love and I think once you love someone, you love them forever, it just changes. I believe in platonic soulmates, and that people can be made for one another in ways other than romantic soulmates. Yeah, I'm weird.
Anyway. Lets use on of my friends as an example. His name is Thomas and we've been friends for about five or six years now. We met a church in the seventh grade and we now attend school together, as seniors. yes, we see one another at least 6 times a week.
He and I basically have the most dysfunctional relationship I think I will ever be in. When we first met, we couldn't stand one another and the first clear memory I have of him is me beating him with my shoe on a hay ride. Then in eighth grade I developed a huge crush on him, we had this big dramamtic soap opera, we "unofficially dated" and it took forvere to end... about til the beginning of 10th grade actually. But now... well, we've kinda settled into this weird, deep, platonic love. Kinda like Will and Grace, only without the gay thing, if you will. We're really abusive towards one another in public and we've been told we fight like an old married couple but it's like... there's more to it than what others see. We tell one another basically everything, we hold hands, kiss one another on the cheek, lie on top of one another. But it's not romantic. But it's a really deep love I've only expereinced a few times.
The other thing I love about the Bible is since it was written in Greek, it adds so much to the love aspect. In Greek there's like... 20 different words for love. I love you as a sister, a teacher, a friend, a husband, etc. And the most powerful one is I love you as a Lord. When Jesus asks Peter if he loves him three times, he uses three different versions of love.
Now I will somehow tie this all back to you're original question... since I'm digressing.
It could be a love that you just haven't experienced yet. I have never been romantically in love with anyone, but I love my friends, family, other things. To me, love is a feeling and a driving force. I do things for God because I love Him, just as you would do something for a friend or boyfriend because you love them.
I'm not saying it is love, but it could be something new 3nodding Growing up is fun in that way. There's also a very good possibility I have no idea what I'm talking about, but there's some food for thought.
Sorry that was so long sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 2:05 pm
Lol, thanks girl! I appreciate it... and it's weird cuz I think I know what you're trying to say... even though I'm not 100% on it myself... But that's fine right? Lol, wow us humans are messed.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 2:20 pm
super_hott Lol, thanks girl! I appreciate it... and it's weird cuz I think I know what you're trying to say... even though I'm not 100% on it myself... But that's fine right? Lol, wow us humans are messed. Yeah, I'm taking a psychology class right now and the book is like "Love confuses psychologists" and I was like NO WAY, REALLY? Love baffles science and I really think it's something we'll never figure out. I figure I'll just deal with it the best I can and learn as I go. Unfortunetly I have a nonexhistant love life right now *grumblegrumblegrumble* (But I'm over it =p)
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Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:32 am
I heard somewhere that scientists think that love is goal-oriented. Love is separate from sexual desire, but an equal motivator to procreate. It's one thing to want to have sex with someone, it's another thing to want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
I'm pretty darn sure humans were meant to mate for life, like lobsters. I know after that comment you'll never want to eat lobster again, or will you? Anyway I'm off track, but since human children can usually spend anywhere from 13 to 21 years living with their parents (depending on the culture, and the circumstances), unlike other offspring which is off and running after a matter of weeks, it would only make sense to ensure the health and survival of the next generation that the parents stay together for life.
If humans were meant to mate and move on, it certainly doesn't make sense now because we're smart enough to have invented birth control and a single mother of a one night stand is not the optimum environment for a baby.
Love motivating marriage makes sense, because married people are more likely to have children and their children are more likely to be alive, healthy, and happy.
But still, that leaves a million unanswered questions. Ah well, it's an enigma.
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Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 5:09 pm
Captain_Theoretical I heard somewhere that scientists think that love is goal-oriented. Love is separate from sexual desire, but an equal motivator to procreate. It's one thing to want to have sex with someone, it's another thing to want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I'm pretty darn sure humans were meant to mate for life, like lobsters. I know after that comment you'll never want to eat lobster again, or will you? Anyway I'm off track, but since human children can usually spend anywhere from 13 to 21 years living with their parents (depending on the culture, and the circumstances), unlike other offspring which is off and running after a matter of weeks, it would only make sense to ensure the health and survival of the next generation that the parents stay together for life. If humans were meant to mate and move on, it certainly doesn't make sense now because we're smart enough to have invented birth control and a single mother of a one night stand is not the optimum environment for a baby. Love motivating marriage makes sense, because married people are more likely to have children and their children are more likely to be alive, healthy, and happy. But still, that leaves a million unanswered questions. Ah well, it's an enigma. I read in my psychology book that some scientists still think love is governed by evolutionary things. Men tend to like youthful and attractive women better and women tend to like ambitious and sucessful men. Evolutionary pyshologist argue that this is because younger looking women look like they are more able to bear healthy children and more abitious men can provide for their families better. Psychology's really fascinating... hahaha. But yeah, love = total mystery
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Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 6:17 pm
Being in love is like going to China: you're pretty sure you're on the right road, but you're never completely sure until you get there.
I don't remember whose quote that is, but it's brilliant. And true. And, for slow-learning doofuses like me, a little encouraging. As it's really too embarassing to tell how long it took me to realize I was romatically in love with my wife, let me just say that once you DO realize it, you're then struck with this incredible DUH feeling. You're finally seeing something that was right in front of your face the whole time.
Anyhow, while this might not work for everyone, some dumb questions that finally helped me come to terms with the fact that I'd fallen so far in love I'd never again see the light of day...
-Do you get up in the morning hoping to hear from one specific person? And then get almost giddy when you do?
-Can you imagine your crush kissing someone else? Marrying someone else? It should bug you.
-Do you put other plans on hold just to spend time with your special someone?
-How would you feel if they talked seriously about moving halfway across the country without you?
-Are you jealous of any of their exes?
Don't know if that's actually helpful, but it's fun to answer nonetheless.
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High-functioning Businesswoman
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:21 pm
Heh heh.
That's all I have to say. sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 11:37 pm
my mom told me once that "The more you need someone, the less you love them."(excluding people who need to be dependant in relationships..like a chid to their parent..) i was like WHA?! i need to be with my boyfriend, i need him in my life!
but as time passed i was able to understand what she meant better. i figure its always easy to be kind someone when they are kind you, but to pour out your life for a person's best interest (with no expectation of anything in return) is an amazing thing. Because that's what Jesus did.
so it got me thinking about the relationship i had with my boyfriend. he drives me to work, takes me out to dinner, many things that benefit me (and im not trying to use him! sweatdrop ). but sometimes im afraid talk to him about areas of his life where he really needs to ask God for guidance and help.
So why am i so afraid? What have i got to lose? The relationship we have where he likes to do things for me is at risk, and i care more about keeping that, than caring about his dedication with Christ.
My ugly sinful nature has come out again. Scary. But im thankful that God helps me understand what is truely in my heart. Because we as humans need to see how sinful we are, and revere God once more for how spectacular He is.
i suppose the moral of this is to be very careful and come to God in prayer for everything. as Fushigi na said, Fushigi na Butterfly 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us that "love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude; it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." It is not a feeling; it is a verb.
Love is not a feeling, but a verb. Feelings come and go, but unconditional love is what it is, unconditional.
Merriam-Webster's dictionary for the word unconditional:
1 : not conditional or limited : ABSOLUTE, UNQUALIFIED
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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:11 am
Fushigi na Butterfly Heh heh.
That's all I have to say. sweatdrop You know, over the internet that looks slightly maniacal. ninja
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:28 am
Captain_Theoretical I'm pretty darn sure humans were meant to mate for life, like lobsters. Phoebe from 'Friends' But she's your lobster! You know, in the tank, they hold each other's claws... like this! *does joined claw motion*
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:08 am
Priestley Captain_Theoretical I'm pretty darn sure humans were meant to mate for life, like lobsters. Phoebe from 'Friends' But she's your lobster! You know, in the tank, they hold each other's claws... like this! *does joined claw motion* We read this adorable story in my English class a few years ago. It was called "The Grasshopper and the Bellcricket" and for about a year after that, every single girl who had read that story and was single had the word "Bellcricket" somewhere in her AIM profile. Anyway, the story is Japanese and it's all these kids and they all have laterns they made and their hunting for bugs. And there's this little boy who finds a bellcricket instead of a grasshopper, and he's trying to get this one girls attention with the bellcricket so he tries to give it to her. The thing is, bellcrickets are a whole lot rarer than grasshoppers. And then there's this thing with laterns and like... it's basically sexual imagery but the end it says somethign to the effect of "You will meet many grasshoppers and many bellcrickets. You will mistake grasshoppers for bellcrickets and bellcrickets for grasshoppers, and you will even come to think that in all the world there is not a single bellcricket" If I can find the exact quote, I'll post it. Anyway, it's adorable and the thingk about lobsters for some reasons reminded me of it... go read the short story...
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