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 Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 2:33 pm
i write a lot poetry, not alot of songs.... but a decent amount of poetry. comments on my material? please feel free to post your own writings, i'd like to see what lyrically creativity exists on Gaia 3nodding
"There's a Ring of Barbed Wire In My Mouth"
Let oil spill through your teeth
Let heaven's ashes fill your lungs
Pry open the ribcage of embodied sin,
And bathe in its glorious, unholy splendour.
"Mortality and Avarice"
Transcending golden light
In a sweet mist of silver
A gift from gods, abused
Conjuring an invincible wrath
Abominations of the sky
Invoking black, furious sorrow
This self-inflicted apocalypse
Incarcerating all time and matter
"Oil Spills and Diamond Mines"
Frantic escape of fear,
The escape of oblivion,
And the monstrosities of the stars:
Of mythological, invisible heavans.
He stares into the black abyss,
Only to find it staring into himself.
In epic horror he shuts his eyes,
Retreating to his earthly concrete vegetation,
In pirsuit of security to numb his suffering:
To nullify his potential, to discintegrate his purpose.
He spreads isolation amongst his children,
In hopes of their ignorance of curiosity and question.
But not so that they fail to find his discovery,
As to what he may never discover at all.
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Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:09 pm
by the way these are COPY WRITED ALREADY : Do You Know What Its Like?
How'd my life become like this?
How'd I become so sad?
I look back on all the good times,
And wonder how I lost everything I had.
I'm all alone here in my life,
My razor is my only friend.
It's the only thing that gives me power.
The power to chose when it all will end,
And I know it may hurt,
But it's less pain then what I normally go through,
Leaving me with a constant reminder,
And a permanent tattoo.
(CHORUS)
Caked on blood,
Scars burning red.
Do you know what it's like
To constantly wish you were dead?
Wake up screaming at night
Cry yourself back to sleep.
Do you know what it's like
To hope the razor cuts too deep?
I guess this is what I get,
For pushing everything aside.
For trying to let not let anyone know,
All of the problems that I hide.
They find it all out anyways,
And everything gets worse.
It's all progressed so far now,
I'm beginning to think it's all a curse.
That is until I see the red stream,
I create it every night.
It's not up to me anymore,
It's all in the razor, I can't fight.
(CHORUS)
Take the hit you're gonna throw.
You can't do anymore damage to me,
I do enough for everyone,
Although it's something you'll never see.
So when I'm gone, don't be surprised
You should have seen it coming.
It was my only way to save myself,
From the person I was becoming.
(CHORUS x3)
(Fade out with..)
I'll be gone before you know it
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Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:01 am
they're... sad lyrics. well written though, i can't complain. it sounds like emo lyrics, but in punk form. as i read it, i couldn't imagine an emo kid singing it, i could only imagine a bunch of punks shoving up to the front of a stage and chanting. especially that last line that fades out. it was good smile
emo isn't necissarily a bad thing to me, and it shouldn't be taken as offensive coming from me. as much as i love death metal and black metal and such, i listen to a couple of emo bands as well sweatdrop Saosin, Circa Survive, Chiodos, and the like.
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Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 4:06 pm
No title yet work in progress, any suggestions?
Drop D tuning
Riff 1, repeat twice
Add ah on a d and repeat twice
Add chorus chords and keep ah and riff, repeat twice
Cut out ah on d and keep riff and chords, start lyrics
Verse 1
Paper flowers, doused in gasoline, light a match and then we watch the angels scream
This fragility of life, I find, is the only thing that helps me keep my peace of mind
And through the flames I can see, a million pieces of my life toppling away from me
And the sky, a big red sea, asked me a question and then you heard me answer softly
Chorus
Beat me, Grind me down, make me feel that I am not alone without a cause in this life
Sing to me about the days I never knew before you dropped right out of the sky.
Beat me grind me down, let me lose myself inside your eyes as we see what we become
Let loose the feelings that I’ve held inside so long as we head towards the dawn
Riff 1 with ah repeat twice
Verse 2
Broken glass, splotched with fallen rain, in it I can see your eyes and they fill me with pain
Lonely arms, waiting for your touch, I’ve waited for so long but I won’t ask too much
And in the dark, I’m filled with fear that when I wake I’ll no longer be here
And your eyes, a deep blue sea, ask me a question, and now you hear me answer softly
Chorus
Beat me, Grind me down, make me feel that I am not alone without a cause in this life
Sing to me about the days I never knew before you dropped right out of the sky.
Beat me grind me down, let me lose myself inside your eyes as we see what we become
Let loose the feelings that I’ve held inside so long as we head towards the dawn
Repeat chorus
Riff 1
Repeat halfway
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 7:25 am
i can see this being an excellent Doom Metal, Progressive Metal, or an acoustic Melodic Death Metal song.
i don't play guitar so i'm afraid i can't give you much judgement on the guitarwork, but your lyrics are heartfelt and defenitely fit the Melodic Death Metal stereotype 3nodding . very nice!
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:39 am
danka danka, I really like doom metal, I might listen to some more, and rework the guitar. to fit a little more.
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 3:12 pm
feel free to look at my site for my more pathetic early attempts at songwriting, btw, i'm Alucard on there.
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 6:49 pm
Poems, huh? Well, I didn't write this (it's from Diablo, a PC game), but I couldn't think of another place to post it. Pretty damn cool, though. Enjoy.
I can see what you see not.
Vision milky, then eyes rot.
When you turn they will be gone,
Whispering their hidden song.
Then you see what cannot be;
Shadows move where light should be.
Out of darkness, out of mind,
Cast down into the halls of the blind.
Personally, I think it could very well be turned into a song with some further thought.
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 7:09 pm
THRILL SEEKER they're... sad lyrics. well written though, i can't complain. it sounds like emo lyrics, but in punk form. as i read it, i couldn't imagine an emo kid singing it, i could only imagine a bunch of punks shoving up to the front of a stage and chanting. especially that last line that fades out. it was good smile emo isn't necissarily a bad thing to me, and it shouldn't be taken as offensive coming from me. as much as i love death metal and black metal and such, i listen to a couple of emo bands as well sweatdrop Saosin, Circa Survive, Chiodos, and the like. who are they? i don't listen to emo. those are straight how i feel... and sure i may be a punk but i listen to metal too blaugh
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 7:10 pm
the almighty beefcake No title yet work in progress, any suggestions? Drop D tuning Riff 1, repeat twice Add ah on a d and repeat twice Add chorus chords and keep ah and riff, repeat twice Cut out ah on d and keep riff and chords, start lyrics Verse 1 Paper flowers, doused in gasoline, light a match and then we watch the angels scream This fragility of life, I find, is the only thing that helps me keep my peace of mind And through the flames I can see, a million pieces of my life toppling away from me And the sky, a big red sea, asked me a question and then you heard me answer softly Chorus Beat me, Grind me down, make me feel that I am not alone without a cause in this life Sing to me about the days I never knew before you dropped right out of the sky. Beat me grind me down, let me lose myself inside your eyes as we see what we become Let loose the feelings that I’ve held inside so long as we head towards the dawn Riff 1 with ah repeat twice Verse 2 Broken glass, splotched with fallen rain, in it I can see your eyes and they fill me with pain Lonely arms, waiting for your touch, I’ve waited for so long but I won’t ask too much And in the dark, I’m filled with fear that when I wake I’ll no longer be here And your eyes, a deep blue sea, ask me a question, and now you hear me answer softly Chorus Beat me, Grind me down, make me feel that I am not alone without a cause in this life Sing to me about the days I never knew before you dropped right out of the sky. Beat me grind me down, let me lose myself inside your eyes as we see what we become Let loose the feelings that I’ve held inside so long as we head towards the dawn Repeat chorus Riff 1 Repeat halfway i like htis its good
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 4:57 pm
ashlander_alpha Poems, huh? Well, I didn't write this (it's from Diablo, a PC game), but I couldn't think of another place to post it. Pretty damn cool, though. Enjoy. I can see what you see not. Vision milky, then eyes rot. When you turn they will be gone, Whispering their hidden song. Then you see what cannot be; Shadows move where light should be. Out of darkness, out of mind, Cast down into the halls of the blind. Personally, I think it could very well be turned into a song with some further thought. damn that was a good game... never beat it though, i always came really close... isn't that poem from one of the tomes you read, and the narrator speaks and the text scrolls down the scream? that guy had such an awesome voice too XD smile that was right before you encountered the vanishing ghouls
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 5:00 pm
evilfaerie13 THRILL SEEKER they're... sad lyrics. well written though, i can't complain. it sounds like emo lyrics, but in punk form. as i read it, i couldn't imagine an emo kid singing it, i could only imagine a bunch of punks shoving up to the front of a stage and chanting. especially that last line that fades out. it was good smile emo isn't necissarily a bad thing to me, and it shouldn't be taken as offensive coming from me. as much as i love death metal and black metal and such, i listen to a couple of emo bands as well sweatdrop Saosin, Circa Survive, Chiodos, and the like. who are they? i don't listen to emo. those are straight how i feel... and sure i may be a punk but i listen to metal too blaugh even if you don't listen to emo, i reccommend you listen to Circa Survive. excellent music, and excellent lyrics.
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 5:00 pm
THRILL SEEKER ashlander_alpha Poems, huh? Well, I didn't write this (it's from Diablo, a PC game), but I couldn't think of another place to post it. Pretty damn cool, though. Enjoy. I can see what you see not. Vision milky, then eyes rot. When you turn they will be gone, Whispering their hidden song. Then you see what cannot be; Shadows move where light should be. Out of darkness, out of mind, Cast down into the halls of the blind. Personally, I think it could very well be turned into a song with some further thought. damn that was a good game... never beat it though, i always came really close... isn't that poem from one of the tomes you read, and the narrator speaks and the text scrolls down the scream? that guy had such an awesome voice too XD smile that was right before you encountered the vanishing ghouls Dude! Another game we both play(ed)! That's from the "Halls of the Blind" quest, from the Book of the Blind, I think. And those monsters were called "Illusion Weavers." You know, I like that poem so much, I think I'LL make a continuation of it. Will post extended version later.
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:32 pm
ashlander_alpha THRILL SEEKER ashlander_alpha Poems, huh? Well, I didn't write this (it's from Diablo, a PC game), but I couldn't think of another place to post it. Pretty damn cool, though. Enjoy. I can see what you see not. Vision milky, then eyes rot. When you turn they will be gone, Whispering their hidden song. Then you see what cannot be; Shadows move where light should be. Out of darkness, out of mind, Cast down into the halls of the blind. Personally, I think it could very well be turned into a song with some further thought. damn that was a good game... never beat it though, i always came really close... isn't that poem from one of the tomes you read, and the narrator speaks and the text scrolls down the scream? that guy had such an awesome voice too XD smile that was right before you encountered the vanishing ghouls Dude! Another game we both play(ed)! That's from the "Halls of the Blind" quest, from the Book of the Blind, I think. And those monsters were called "Illusion Weavers." You know, I like that poem so much, I think I'LL make a continuation of it. Will post extended version later. hahaha, i actually got bored on the plane ride back to California (i was vacating in Florida, and i live in Los Angeles) yesterday morning, and i wrote a poem on a go-off of the Diablo story line biggrin it was also inspired by the song "Closure" by Opeth. great minds think alike, my friend. "Savior of a handfull And a village of dead trees With sword in hand I brought evil to it's knees But I now carry a heavy burden Diablo's jewel in a mortal carcass I isolate from the morning sun As I too now hunger for darkness The Black Lord was not slain His immortality is inanimate Bloodlust courses through my veins For I am Lucifer re-incarnate"
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:36 pm
every hardcore kid and every metalhead poet needs to write at least ONE poem, just about kiling someone. this took me about 10 minutes.
Zyklon (norwejan death metal) and Cannibal Corpse (american grindcore/death metal) heavily influenced this.
Her Corpse Is Screaming 'In Cold Blood'
"Remembering bittersweet hate
Agony of futiluty, and the dream of murder
Gritting iron and wood in his teeth
With splintered gums and shattered bone
The five nails protruding her neck
Fill her wounds with rust and her heart with tar
Inhuman screams, now bubbling crimson
He bathes himself in betrayal, in lies, in her gore"
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