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This is a joint story written by me, morbid_survivor and my friend merlinssister. it' done alternately. We did it over MSN messenger hile we were bored and this is the result. It's pretty good seeing as it has no editing but then I'd say that as, I helped write so.. the future of thins story is down to you kind people out there so.. Let's go! blaugh


Start

Two girls meet in the centre of a deserted waste land between their two horizens. One, a tall sorceress, with long dark hair tumbling down her back, and iceblue eyes, in a black dress with blood red sleeves, the other, a tall, strangely tall hobbit with shoulder length dark hair hanging loose, and dark red eyes, in a black, leather, tight catsuit with red lace.

"Who are you?" asks the strangely tall hobbit.

"meh." replies the other, shrugging.

"I asked you a question."

"meh" she shrugs again.

She snorts. "Who r u kidding?"

"meh." She shrugs a third time. The tension is now rising, the strangely tall hobbit is becoming pissed off. The Dark Sorceress asks, "What is your real name, strangely tall hobbit?"

"u know my real name," says Strangely Tall Hobbit dramatically. "u always have, mwuhahahahaha!"

The dark Sorceress tenses. 'No,' she thinks to herself. 'It can't be, she died years ago. Could this strangely tall hobbit really be my equally as dark sorceress twin?' She looks closely into the eyes of the woman in front of her.

"What u think is true Kali I am who of which u think"

The Dark Soceress' anger rises. "I am the Dark Sorceress of the North Horizen! My name is Kali Mizuzu! No one can scare me!" She roars. Then, more quietly now, more to herself than anything, "Not even my twin of the South Horizen. I'll never forgive you Keket." (Dun, dun, duun!)

"I'll never forgive u either. Don't u dare ask why, u know why i shall never forgive me," Keket said her anger rising dangerously high, "You stole my rubber ducky! I never forgot that, I forgot everything, even my name. What is it again? And now I will kill u!"

Kali sets her stance to began the battle of the horizen's, predicted to happen when the twins were barely a day old and seperated to their seperate homes. "You're name is Keket, and I stole your rubber ducky because you stole my teddy bear! Prepare to die for what you did to My Snuggles!"

"I never did anything to your Snuggles! I've lead a life of evil for no reason! But then again, being evil is pretty cool. u get great clothes and the whole all powerful thing is pretty cool...Well anyway, prepare to die a painful death!"

Kali forgets about the battle at the menion of clothes. "Oh I know exactly what you mean. I love your outfit by the way...it is sooooo fetching! What do you think of mine? I don't really like the colour much. What d'ya think?"

"I think more leather and maybe a bit of lace trim in maybe red or black. I have a great tailor that I can torture til he does it for u"

"Oh really? Thanks ever so! Hey, d'ya wanna go eat something? I'm in the mood for a couple o' hundred kids. How about you?"

"yeah, a few babies, maybe a camel...Hey aren't we supposed 2 b doing something?" Keket said, trying 2 remember what they were doing. "Oh yeah...do u have a phone number or something?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot. Here you go!" She gives Keket her phone number. "I'm sure there was something elses though..." She hits herself with her staff. An evil grin spreads across her face. "Oh yes, I remember. We were fighting. Keketicus Woundicus!" she roars. Her spell cuts through Keket's skin and a large wound opens up in her side. Keket screams.

"How the hell did u do that?I can't even get past elementry cuting," she says, blood spurting out of her side. "But I can do this." And with her own evil grin she shouts out, "Kalikus Batcus!" and with a loud pop she turns into a bat.

"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeech!" Screeches the batty Kali. "Screech Screeech!" she vanishes in a puff of smoke and reappears as a gigantic dragon! Her black scales were tinted with blood red and her 50 ft wings spread out on either side of her like a shadow. Her ice blue eyes glinted as she raised her head and gave an almighty roar, Ice flame bursting from her snout.
Keket barely avoided her spiked tail as it lashed out. "that was good,@ she cackled. "But not good enough to beat me. Show me your best, sister!" She roared again.

"Well that didn't go as planned," said Keket thoughtfully and with a wave of her staff turned herself into...a quarter-phoenix, quarter-dragon, quarter-snake and quarter- lemming

"AWWWWWWWWWWW!! That is sooooooooooooooooo cute!" exclaimed Kali. I shall call her cutee, and it shall be mine, and she shall be my Cutee. Come here Cutee!"

"I'm not anyone's,"said Keket angrily, glaring at Kali. "I think I might stay like this, I do look rather cute" She rotates round to see if she has a tail and is pleased to find that she has a huge phoenix's tail. "ooohhh, cool."

"I want to touch It!" She transforms back into a human and flies towards Keket. "OWIE!!!!" Keket bit her hand as she went to touch her tail. kali began jumping up and down, shaking her hand, "owie! owie! owie!"

"don't touch the tail! It is mine alone!," she noticed that Kali was starting to look very angry. "u can't hurt a defenceless lemming phoenix, thing, can u?" She said nervously, backing away

Kali's breathing quickened as the pain from her hand released a rush of adrenaline. She raised her hand and shouted, "MOOOOOOOOOMMYYYYYYYYYYY!" The ground on which they stood began to shake. A loud, rumbling sound began from the East horizen coming closer. "DAAAAAAADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" The noise began, like a echo, to the west horizen growing louder and louder.

"What the hell?" said Keket as the ground shook, "Look, I could get that hand fixed in no time if I remembered the spell. What is it?"

Kali continued to scream. Suddenly, two, gigantic figures lumbered into view. Each one taller taller than the mountains. They stopped when they saw the pair, Keket as a weird lemur/pheonix thing and kali screaming whilst jumping up and down on the spot. "What the...?" exclaimed the first giant, obviously the mother. "How on Kreda...?"gasped the second.
strangelytallhobbit@fsmail.net says:
"Mum? Dad?" said Keket uncertainly.

She transformed back into a human. The female giant stooped down and grasped both her daughters into a very tight hug. "My daughters." she said. "I have finally found my daughters. Look how youve grown...oh, do stop screaming dear." For Keket was now screaming at the top her lungs, whilst Kali stared at her. "DAAAAAD!" she screamed.

"You're our Mum and Dad? I'm sorry if I knew u, I suffer from short term memory loss. At least, I think I do"

But their father was already leaving. "ken'Shin, where do you think you are going?" excamed their mother. "Home." stated their fater matter of factly.

"Why r u leaving, I wanna go home 2," Keket wailed at her father. "And Kali was being mean 2 me!"

"I soooo was not! Mommy, I can't breath." she gasped. Their mother's fiss were tightening around her daughters. They both let out a wry scream. Continued squeezing. Their fater ignored them. Kali outstretched her hand towards her sister. "I'm sorry Keket. I love you." Keket took her outstretched hand and Kali smiled weakly at her, one eye forced to keep open and teeth clenched to the pain

"I love you too Kali," said Keket through the pain and touched her hand with her claw

Then, their spines snapped from the pressure of their mother's hands, who still hadn't noticed them to be dying, and warm, dark blood bubbled from the corners of their mouths and eyes. They died, hand in hand, still smiling weakly at each other. To this day, they sit together, somehow magically fused together by the hand, in the centre between their two horizens, still smiling at each other, watching the world go on around them.

until the world explodes in a firey mass

and their bodies are burt to embers and blown away on the wind.

and their burnt ashes disappear in the wind, but their spirits are in an evil ppls bar where they can play chess with death and armwrestle the devil, cheering each other on, getting drunk and playing ping-pong

And they both died evilly ever after. The End!

End

So that was our story. Whad'ya think?

It seems like it's a parody through the whole thing, and some of it is pretty amusing. However, most people will really not be able to understand the humor, as it seems more or less like two friends talking about something hysterical in a pseudo-serious way that nobody can understand.

If this was really meant to be serious, which I doubt, first lose the netspeak. Using "u" for "you" is really not acceptable in serious writing and will make people take your work on a much lighter note than you may intend.

Don't worry. It's not serious. We were just bored and this was the result. Thanks for the advice though! smile

Very... interesting. I liked it, it's cute, but there's a lot of grammatical stuff going on in it. Were you just in a hurry?

OK, I'd just like to say on behalf of morbid_survivor that it is not a proper story that could be published, just something that we wrote when we were bored gonk