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 Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 6:11 pm
Here I piece that I wrote just now about a dream I had last night. It's doesn't really mean anything so don't worry about me.
Thistles and Thorns
By
Chad “Zeta” Marden
On a lonely highway,
My love and I,
We move without a sound.
There’s nothing here,
No cars or trucks,
Nor people standing ‘round.
Off the road,
We start to stray.
Our own path we make.
Across the lanes,
And over the median.
Fleet footed steps we take.
Though the road turns,
We still go straight.
Our direction we never switch
‘Till all of a sudden,
In front of us stands,
A large and mighty ditch.
She races ahead,
And in her haste,
She quickly threw off her shoes.
I try to stop her,
As she leaps in.
My love I fear I’ll lose.
I gaze in the ditch,
Filled with thistles and thorns,
And slowly I raise my eyes.
To my surprise,
On the other side,
My beloved she still survives.
I pause for a moment.
She suffered no harm,
Although I’m not sure why.
I follow her lead,
For if she can live,
Why then shouldn’t I?
I leap in the thorns,
Sure that I’ll live.
But much to my dismay,
They scratch and pierce.
The pain is too real.
How did things happen this way?
I reach out for her,
And start to sink.
In pain and anguish I cry.
The thorn raise higher,
Well over my head.
I know I’ll surely die.
A forest of thistles,
And thorns are my tomb.
If only I had but known.
This must be the price,
That I must pay,
For rushing into the unknown.
Also, I'm sorry for not being here as of late. This damned, piece o' carp computer's been acting fugly lately. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:06 pm
That's really good, Zeta smile Really like the imagery... very descriptive... like I can actually see it perfectly. Well done. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:48 pm
ooo....thats really good Zeta! ^___^ Like Pheadra said, -great- imagery. I saw it well in my head 3nodding
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 1:47 am
Phaedra Lycoris That's really good, Zeta smile Really like the imagery... very descriptive... like I can actually see it perfectly. Well done. 3nodding Someone on the poetry forum didn't think so, But I'm glad you like it. 3nodding Thanks.
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 10:48 am
Zeta_240 Phaedra Lycoris That's really good, Zeta smile Really like the imagery... very descriptive... like I can actually see it perfectly. Well done. 3nodding Someone on the poetry forum didn't think so, But I'm glad you like it. 3nodding Thanks.
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 12:13 pm
Zeta_240 Phaedra Lycoris That's really good, Zeta smile Really like the imagery... very descriptive... like I can actually see it perfectly. Well done. 3nodding Someone on the poetry forum didn't think so, But I'm glad you like it. 3nodding Thanks. there is always someone on the poetry forum who will critique you harshly no matter what you do...if they critique it at all... sweatdrop Nice job though! 3nodding
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 3:38 pm
Personally I rather liked it. ^.^ You have a wonderful sense of imagery...and wow, I can't believe the person on the poetry forum ddin't like it~ hmph! *pout!* People can be such meanies sometimes...=P
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 3:46 pm
WOOOOOOOOOT! Way to write Zeta that poem rocked. I used to write all the time but I just don't feel as inspired as I once was. Are you sure this was your first poem? *bows down to the poet* blaugh
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 6:16 pm
Wow! I'm glad people like it so much. Thank you everyone.
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