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Rurouni-Himura

PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 3:44 pm


HI! As said, newbie, first post, love to know what you think, if you like it, please feel free to check out my site...


Disclaimer: These people I do not own. Hee, learn much good english.

Author's Notes: Kenshin is the regular print and Sanosuke is the bold. This is the same as the first Ode with the exception that Sano is conmenting on it, like he found it, or Kenshin showed it to him. Yeah.




Kenshin

Sanosuke



She doesn’t understand

(And probably never will)

Why our hearts can’t unite



Then explain. Baka.



Someone has told me

We were meant to be



Hey! That was me!



But I think I’ll disagree

She’s safe now

And I want her to stay that way

She’s safe now

And will forever be so

Her heart won’t break



Unless you deny her

That would hurt her




A chance I won’t take

I have to keep her safe



By putting her at a distance?




My heart slaves for the past

A touch never forgotten

A memory not erased



Tomoe is gone.

She would want you to love again,

don’t you think?




How could she ask me

To stay by her side?



Cus she loves you, baka.


She doesn’t know

What her words could mean



You’re afraid, aren’t you?



She wouldn’t stay safe

Why must I try?



You have to move on

And conquer the past



Alone I will stand

Alone I go on



A rurouni



A ……………….battosai



You aren’t anymore.

You put that behind you.



She will not be singed



Not again



She’s not Tomoe, Kenshin.



Not again. I refuse.


Well, what do ya think?
http://moonwing17.tripod.com/musiccartoonsandutterchaos/
PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 6:53 am


I'm not much of a poetry critc, so I just wanted to ask a few questions: Is this based on something (ie. is it a fanfic)? I'm not familiar with much anime, so excuse my ignorance. From my miserable two years of compulsary Japanese, I know that Baka is fool, I didn't get some of the other words, maybe provide translations for other uneducated souls.

Oh, and consider editing it, so that it contains no so much white. (Beware that evil white twisted )

Erm, the dialogue thing is interesting. That's as much positive input I can make. Sorry can't be more help, you'll have to wait for a poetry person. sweatdrop

Meanwhile


the round

PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:45 pm


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 8:50 pm


Um, ok, I try. I only use three Japanese words, baka, rurouni, and battosai. Baka- fool, Rurouni- wandering samurai, battosai- assasin. Yes, it is a fanfic of Rurouni Kenshin. I apologise, I did not explain that.

Rurouni-Himura

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The Cranky Writers' Guild

 
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