|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:07 am
I'm so scared.
My baby's father left me last week, chickening out of me and our to be born son.
I feel so alone now and lately I've been having thought's of burning and cutting myself.
I haven't done it in years.
Has anyone felt this way before, how do you clear your mind of those thoughts and urges?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:05 pm
I used to cut. When I stopped, I would still have urges. The best way for me to deal with it was to just distract myself until they went away, and then doing it again when they came back. Take a nice relaxing bath, go watch a movie, read a book, do something to take your mind off of it. Call somebody, go spend time with friends, do whatever you need to do to get your mind off of it. Also, have you ever seen a therapist? Would it be possible for you to see one now?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:52 pm
First off, this is definitely something very important to bring up with your doctor or a therapist, especially you being pregnant. You are put at risk for PPD now and definitely if you feel like doing harm to yourself, it's something to mention and try to get help ASAP.
As for the biological father of your baby, don't forget to look up the legal aspects of pursuing him for child support, just because he left you, doesn't mean he can leave that part of financially responsibility. Definitely talk to a lawyer too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 1:30 pm
lunashock First off, this is definitely something very important to bring up with your doctor or a therapist, especially you being pregnant. You are put at risk for PPD now and definitely if you feel like doing harm to yourself, it's something to mention and try to get help ASAP. As for the biological father of your baby, don't forget to look up the legal aspects of pursuing him for child support, just because he left you, doesn't mean he can leave that part of financially responsibility. Definitely talk to a lawyer too. Yeah my ob/gyn has found a therapist for me but now I have to get a referal before I can go. For the father, I really don't want to push him into child support. He doesn't even have enough money to take care of me when we used to live together. And I'm scared that he might get joint custody. I can't trust him cause he does pot and shrooms.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 2:06 pm
Custody and child support are two seperate issues. Just because he is paying child support (or supposed to be) doesn't automatically mean he gets custody. That's a seperate hearing, legal issue. My husband pays his on time every month, but because we are military, we are unable to attend court hearings thus we don't have set visitation/custody. On the flip side, my sister's ex doesn't pay child support, but by their divorce decree, he got joint custody.
However, if he is doing drugs, that is something to mention. My sister found out her ex was doing crack and actually took her son on one of his runs and pursued the necessary legal actions. Really, you're only hurting the baby by not pursuing child support. It's not about the two of you or whether he can pay it. If you don't pursue it, it sends a message that it's okay for him to just walk out on that baby's life and the same message that it's okay for your child to have to deal with that in the future.
Definitely stay on top of the referral, be persistent if you have to until you get that appointment set up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:17 pm
lunashock Custody and child support are two seperate issues. Just because he is paying child support (or supposed to be) doesn't automatically mean he gets custody. That's a seperate hearing, legal issue. My husband pays his on time every month, but because we are military, we are unable to attend court hearings thus we don't have set visitation/custody. On the flip side, my sister's ex doesn't pay child support, but by their divorce decree, he got joint custody. However, if he is doing drugs, that is something to mention. My sister found out her ex was doing crack and actually took her son on one of his runs and pursued the necessary legal actions. Really, you're only hurting the baby by not pursuing child support. It's not about the two of you or whether he can pay it. If you don't pursue it, it sends a message that it's okay for him to just walk out on that baby's life and the same message that it's okay for your child to have to deal with that in the future. Definitely stay on top of the referral, be persistent if you have to until you get that appointment set up.
Couldn't have said it better. 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:55 pm
lunashock Custody and child support are two seperate issues. Just because he is paying child support (or supposed to be) doesn't automatically mean he gets custody. That's a seperate hearing, legal issue. My husband pays his on time every month, but because we are military, we are unable to attend court hearings thus we don't have set visitation/custody. On the flip side, my sister's ex doesn't pay child support, but by their divorce decree, he got joint custody. However, if he is doing drugs, that is something to mention. My sister found out her ex was doing crack and actually took her son on one of his runs and pursued the necessary legal actions. Really, you're only hurting the baby by not pursuing child support. It's not about the two of you or whether he can pay it. If you don't pursue it, it sends a message that it's okay for him to just walk out on that baby's life and the same message that it's okay for your child to have to deal with that in the future. Definitely stay on top of the referral, be persistent if you have to until you get that appointment set up. I'll have to think about it, kinda a hard issue. confused
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 5:50 pm
Just before i got pregnant i was super depressed for a long time and was into self mutilation... When i realised that i needed to be well, and healthy to be able to raise and support a child i think it kind of snapped me out of it, and even the thought of harming myself now horrifies me. I think i realised that i wasnt just harming myself anymore, i was harming my baby and that continuing on the way i was would only get my baby taken away and would effect it's life forever.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:20 pm
Nomikins Just before i got pregnant i was super depressed for a long time and was into self mutilation... When i realised that i needed to be well, and healthy to be able to raise and support a child i think it kind of snapped me out of it, and even the thought of harming myself now horrifies me. I think i realised that i wasnt just harming myself anymore, i was harming my baby and that continuing on the way i was would only get my baby taken away and would effect it's life forever. I know, but it just scares me the urges I get to cut. Well actually I wouldn't call it cutting, more like burning. I would use a lighter to heat a blade then press it against my hand or whatever. To a point it got bad where it doesn't hurt but feels good. Thankfully the urges have gone away slightly, cause ive been keeping myself very busy with work, getting a new job, making room for the baby and all
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:32 pm
Keeping busy is always good, less time to think.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 1:47 pm
This is going to sound so corny. XD
Think happy thoughts.
I'm serious! I'm not talking out my ... >> I mean, I know what I'm talking about, 'cause I've been there- not post-partum or even pre-partum, as I remain babyless, but I've been there with the cutting and hot wax and rubber bands and you name it.
It isn't easy, but if you think happy things, even if you don't -want- to, it eases the urge. Baby names, nursery colors, blue vs red pacifiers... nothing to stress over, but just daydreamy. Imagine happy things, make a happy place... I roleplay, because I like creating imaginary worlds.
Thing of happy things. ^^ It helps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:33 pm
[Malika] This is going to sound so corny. XD
Think happy thoughts.
I'm serious! I'm not talking out my ... >> I mean, I know what I'm talking about, 'cause I've been there- not post-partum or even pre-partum, as I remain babyless, but I've been there with the cutting and hot wax and rubber bands and you name it.
It isn't easy, but if you think happy things, even if you don't -want- to, it eases the urge. Baby names, nursery colors, blue vs red pacifiers... nothing to stress over, but just daydreamy. Imagine happy things, make a happy place... I roleplay, because I like creating imaginary worlds.
Thing of happy things. ^^ It helps. Lol when you said happy thoughts It reminded me of the Peter Pan movie, Hook with Robin Williams. Rufio, now he was hot lmao!! Omg I'm such a dork
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:06 pm
XD Me too, I know!
*giggles* I'm sorry, I know it was a corny thing to say... I just hope it helps.
*nods solemnly* When I get very depressed, I tend to find that sweet and corny things help me feel better.
....
Mmm, sweet corn. >>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 4:48 pm
[Malika] XD Me too, I know!
*giggles* I'm sorry, I know it was a corny thing to say... I just hope it helps.
*nods solemnly* When I get very depressed, I tend to find that sweet and corny things help me feel better.
....
Mmm, sweet corn. >> Ack omg now you got me hungry for bbq and grilled sweet corn..... MMMMMMM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 12:20 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
![[Malika]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/9a/35/6816c782359a_flip.png?t=1193909115_6.00_00)