Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well basically I'll be posting my poems, So..... ENJOY!

Consumed
The darkness has consumed me,
As the night does the day.
Its everlasting shadow has cast all others astray,
A loner am I,
Far apart from all I am,
Dirty looks and evil glares,
People knocking down my books.
This is all I get for being me.
What's so wrong with being different?
Does that make me misfit?
On the contrary, I beg to differ.
It makes me who I am,
And that my friend is that.

Untitled

Sitting in the shadows,
Crying out my heart,
Its open and bleeding for its been shot by a dart,
A dart full of hate and angst,
So angry and uneasy.
My heart ruptures,
Veins puncture,
And I lie Iagainst the dumpster.
I feel as unwanted as the trash in the dumpster I rest against.
As used, so old and worn,
Like the old rag doll that's been forgetten,
Even though the child had had to beg mother before she bought it from the store.
I may be different,
And I may seem wierd,
But I too am mortal and human at heart,
Just look past what you think you know and fear.

Feedback Welcomed

Alright. Feedback. I'm out of rotten tomatoes, as well as candies, so this is all I got.

The first one, Consumed, I like. It seems mis-titled though. It's more like "Outcast" or something along those lines. Two of the verses struck me as oddly though. The poem is about what makes you yourself, it's a strong statement, These verses, the second one in particular, weaken the tone of the poem.
"Does that make me misfit?
On the contrary, I beg to differ. "
It needs to be a stronger statement. I beg to differ? Perhaps a good way to speak, but it's no way to proclaim something strongly.

The second poem changes feel about halfway through, perhaps you might want to weave the pain of your own, and your separation/likeness together instead of giving them distinct halves of the poem.

There's my feedback biggrin