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Bisexuality is: |
Just a faze. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
Who I am. |
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28% |
[ 6 ] |
A way of love. |
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71% |
[ 15 ] |
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Total Votes : 21 |
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 8:17 pm
Well, I am really getting tired of all these people calling me confused or 'going through a faze' or not really bisexual simply because I'm 13 frickin' years old and I don't want to ******** a guy or a girl right now! So, I found this cool site with the BiPride Flag history (I'll post it if you want, or I can PM it to you.) and from there, I found this other site all about bisexuality and all that jazz. Here's a page from it.
About Bisexuality
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What do you mean by "bisexual" anyway? Bisexual can be used to describe people who have erotic, affectionate, romantic feelings for, fantasies of, and/or experiences with both men & women, & people who self-identify as bisexual for these or any other reason.
What is Bisexuality? Bisexuality means sexual or romantic attraction or behavior directed towards some members of more than one sex.
What do these acronyms mean: MOTSS, MOTOS? MOTSS: Member(s) Of The Same Sex. Often loosely used to refer to anyone who is attracted to members of the same sex. Not to be confused with MOTTS, a brand of apple juice.
MOTOS: Member(s) Of The Opposite (or Other) Sex.
If I've never slept with a MOTSS/MOTOS, but I'm attracted to one, am I bisexual? That's up to you to decide; nobody can make that decision for you & nobody has the right to tell you your decision is wrong. Bisexuality isn't about whom you sleep with, it's about how you feel; so a good rule of thumb in defining your sexual identity is not what you've done, but what you'd like to do.
Aren't bisexuals just going through a phase of being confused about their sexuality? Bisexuals are people who are attracted to both sexes; their reasons why they are attracted to one sex may be very different from their reasons why they are attracted to the other & they may not be equally attracted to both sexes.
However, many of us are absolutely certain that we are attracted to both sexes; there is no confusion. It is natural for people who are coming to terms with a sexuality which is not society's norm to be feel confused. For some people, bisexuality is a phase between homosexuality & heterosexuality (& the individual in question could be going in either direction); for others it can just be a brief experimentation. But for many people bisexuality is a lifelong, committed sexual orientation.
And even for those who ultimately do not stay bisexual for life, that does not make it any less valid as a sexual orientation. Many people have reported that their sexual orientation has shifted over time; sexuality is dynamic, not fixed. For some people it may be a small shift, others a major change of lifestyle; but this does not make the points in between in any sense "wrong". Life is a continuous process & few of us remain exactly the same over long periods of time.
Aren't bisexuals really denying their homosexuality? It?s difficult for some lesbian/gay people to come to grips with their homosexuality & for a while, dating MOTOS may make life seem a little more "realistic" & bearable. Let's face it, coming out of the closet & living as a homosexual is no picnic; between the sanctioned discrimination which gay/bi men face of being in a perceived high risk group for AIDS & the social standards of love, courtship & marriage, being gay at times takes more energy than humans should be asked to give.
But coming out bisexual is no easy matter, either. Bisexuals have to face loved ones who have relied in the past on their attraction to them being constant & assure them that it will be there in the future. Bisexuals deal with friends who assure them that their attraction to MOTSS is just a way of avoiding intimacy? or that their attraction to MOTOS is internalized homophobia. Bisexuality is not an easy way out, a denial, or a middle ground.? It is for some people the hardest decision they will ever make.
Some bisexuals self-identify as gay or lesbian; for them, their primary sexual interest lies in members of their same sex. But "gay" & "lesbian" (& "bisexual" for that matter) are labels created by a homophobic, biphobic, heterosexist society to create separate categories of "us" & "them". People are unique; they do not fit into these comfortable little categories. But, attracted to or involved with MOTOS or not, revealing an interest in MOTSS will often result in gay-related discrimination & exclusion.
Are bisexuals equally attracted to both sexes? Many bisexuals feel they have a "preference" for one gender over another, but they do not deny their attraction for that other gender. Some bisexuals, however, have no such preference & instead focus their attractions on qualities they see in an individual, regardless of that person's gender. Sometimes these qualities involve gender, sometimes not. For example, some people find men attractive as men, & women attractive as women; others find people's gender irrelevant.
Do bisexuals have to have lovers of both sexes to be bisexual? Sometimes it is useful to distinguish bisexual identity & bisexual behavior. People who call themselves bisexual are saying that they are attracted to both men & women. They don't necessarily have to act on that attraction. Conversely there are many people who have lovers of both sexes, but who don't think of themselves as bisexual.
Are bisexuals capable of monogamy? It depends on the individual. It's like asking "Can a straight person be monogamous?" Some bisexuals are monogamous & some aren't. Monogamy is the socially sanctioned option with respect to relationships, but then so is heterosexuality. It should be up to every individual, of any sexuality, to choose the lifestyle which is right for them.
But if they're monogamous, how can they be bisexual? A bisexual deciding to be monogamous is not deciding to be "gay" or "straight". He/she is still bisexual; he/she has chosen a PERSON to live his/her life with, not an orientation, preference or ideologue. It is important to recognize that he/she still FEELS bisexual.
Isn't everyone really bisexual? Not by any useful definition. A useful definition of bisexuality might be: anyone who has serious relationships with members of both sexes & anyone who identifies as bisexual. It is possible to suggest that everyone has some potential for attraction to both sexes, but since most people never act on it, this is pretty irrelevant.
If someone says that they are straight, (or gay/lesbian) then for you to insist that they are "really" bisexual but perhaps just don't realize it is to deny them their self-identity. Everyone should be free to define their own identity for themselves, which invalidates this kind of generalization.
Why do you think bi issues are different from gay issues, since all your problems come from the same source; homophobia? While homophobia is a bi issue, we do also have concerns different from those of the gay community; the most striking being that of dealing with prejudice from the gay community itself!
Among our other concerns are dealing with the emotion of significant others, who we so deeply love yet who cannot understand our attraction to MOTOS. And being accepted as bisexual if we only have one partner. And we have to deal with a lot of myths which surround bisexuality.
Why would lesbians/gay men discriminate against bisexuals? Because we are sometimes perceived as "hiding". a sense that some bisexuals use their bisexuality to look heterosexual at work, in straight social settings, to enjoy the "heterosexual privilege" that is part of the social norm. Also, bisexuals are sometimes seen as blurring the issues & weakening the lesbian & gay movement. Naturally, bisexual activists disagree with this view! A further reason is that some lesbians & gay men also have sex with MOTOS (while not identifying as bisexual). Often they can?t admit this in the lesbian & gay communities.
I've discovered that I'm bisexual - should I tell my family? Look at your life & decide that if by telling them you will help yourself & by not telling them you won't hurt yourself (one doesn't necessarily preclude the other). Both instances, of telling or not telling, can be problems. They may not accept you, then again, maybe they will. Not telling them may leave you at peace, or it may gnaw at your mind constantly, with "I really need to tell them" or "I really need to tell someone who knows me well." There are many people in the bisexual community who can tell you of good & bad situations that have happened to us with each different type of decision. Indeed, these "coming-out stories" (so called because they describe "coming out of the closet" & telling people of our sexuality) are often to be heard whenever bisexuals meet - it is something that brings us together, because so many of us have one of these stories to tell.
But, ultimately, the decision is yours & must be made by you. You must decide whether any need to know, or whether you want any to know.
What is the Kinsey scale? Dr. Alfred Kinsey created a scale, graduated between heterosexuality & homosexuality, to rate individuals on actual experiences & psychological reactions. The ratings are as follows:
0: Entirely heterosexual 1: Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual 2: Predominantly heterosexual, but with a distinct homosexual history 3: Equally heterosexual & homosexual 4: Predominantly homosexual, but with a distinct heterosexual history 5: Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual 6: Entirely homosexual Clearly anything above 0 & less than 6 can be defined as bisexual. Although many people will say "I am Kinsey (whatever)," it should be noted that subsequent researchers such as Klein have found it more useful to rate people on a variety of levels, such as "Past History," "Present History," "Present Feelings," & "Future Inclinations." Nevertheless, the Kinsey scale remains a useful tool for discussion of sexuality precisely because it is so simple.
My Goddess, those damn question marks took forever to take out.
Link: http://www.bitheway.org/Bi/About.htm
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 4:15 pm
gonk Don't just vote on the poll! Post your opinions and such! Jeez, and you people are always saying it's dead in here!
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 6:03 pm
eek So much information... */opinion*
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 9:43 pm
I never really understood why the gay/lesbian community acts so harshly about bisexual people. I dont see why heterosexuals act so harshly to them either. I think that bisexuality is a good way to go. With either that being your life choice, or just a choice for the time because you dont know who you're going to fall in love with. You have to stay open minded if you really are wanting to find you soul mate.
I see nothing wrong with being bi. I see nothing wrong with anyone's choice of sexual orientation. You are who you are; nothing more, nothing less. Society needs to learn to except people for who they are.
Anyways, that was really interesting Jibberish. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 10:02 pm
AkureiKnight I never really understood why the gay/lesbian community acts so harshly about bisexual people. I dont see why heterosexuals act so harshly to them either. I think that bisexuality is a good way to go. With either that being your life choice, or just a choice for the time because you dont know who you're going to fall in love with. You have to stay open minded if you really are wanting to find you soul mate. I see nothing wrong with being bi. I see nothing wrong with anyone's choice of sexual orientation. You are who you are; nothing more, nothing less. Society needs to learn to except people for who they are. Anyways, that was really interesting Jibberish. 3nodding Wow you took the words right out of my mouth, you arnt bi for no reason your bi cause your waiing for the right person to come along and yuo dont know whether thier a guy or a gal right...you catch my drift.
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 11:47 pm
Well, its hard to say on this. I have nothing aganst people being Bi or anything, but I think some of the time people use it as an excuse so it won't hurt as bad when someone askes them if their a homosexual.
My only question is, why is it more accepted (sorry for bad speeling) for women to be bi than it is for men? Thats the only thing that bugs me about the whole thing. Whats the big difference? I don't see one really, but yet its more 'accepted' for women to be bi over men.
Though in todays world to still be able to be yourself at least some waht, and not be shoved away, saying your bi instaed of saying your real oratation is a good way to go.
@-@ I think I just confused my self. Sorry, my thought trail died on me.
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 11:50 pm
Shmoo-Chan Well, its hard to say on this. I have nothing aganst people being Bi or anything, but I think some of the time people use it as an excuse so it won't hurt as bad when someone askes them if their a homosexual. My only question is, why is it more accepted (sorry for bad speeling) for women to be bi than it is for men? Thats the only thing that bugs me about the whole thing. Whats the big difference? I don't see one really, but yet its more 'accepted' for women to be bi over men. Though in todays world to still be able to be yourself at least some waht, and not be shoved away, saying your bi instaed of saying your real oratation is a good way to go. @-@ I think I just confused my self. Sorry, my thought trail died on me. I think it is because many guys find bi women more attractive than other women
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 9:47 am
Some_Guy15 Shmoo-Chan Well, its hard to say on this. I have nothing aganst people being Bi or anything, but I think some of the time people use it as an excuse so it won't hurt as bad when someone askes them if their a homosexual. My only question is, why is it more accepted (sorry for bad speeling) for women to be bi than it is for men? Thats the only thing that bugs me about the whole thing. Whats the big difference? I don't see one really, but yet its more 'accepted' for women to be bi over men. Though in todays world to still be able to be yourself at least some waht, and not be shoved away, saying your bi instaed of saying your real oratation is a good way to go. @-@ I think I just confused my self. Sorry, my thought trail died on me. I think it is because many guys find bi women more attractive than other women Well, that could be a possabality, but it doesn't explain much. Any Hetrosexualy woman can be just as attractive as a bisexual woman. I'm talking in the eyes of 'people' the 'norm' of America, why is it more accepted.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 3:08 pm
Some_Guy15 AkureiKnight I never really understood why the gay/lesbian community acts so harshly about bisexual people. I dont see why heterosexuals act so harshly to them either. I think that bisexuality is a good way to go. With either that being your life choice, or just a choice for the time because you dont know who you're going to fall in love with. You have to stay open minded if you really are wanting to find you soul mate. I see nothing wrong with being bi. I see nothing wrong with anyone's choice of sexual orientation. You are who you are; nothing more, nothing less. Society needs to learn to except people for who they are. Anyways, that was really interesting Jibberish. 3nodding Wow you took the words right out of my mouth, you arnt bi for no reason your bi cause your waiing for the right person to come along and yuo dont know whether thier a guy or a gal right...you catch my drift. 3nodding exactly. Im just going to go with the flow. If I marry and girl, then I marry a girl. If I marry a guy, then I marry a guy. But girls are what catch my eye. I dont really get attracted to men anymore, but I dont doubt that I might fall in love with a boy one day.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 3:13 pm
Shmoo-Chan Well, that could be a possabality, but it doesn't explain much. Any Hetrosexualy woman can be just as attractive as a bisexual woman. I'm talking in the eyes of 'people' the 'norm' of America, why is it more accepted. Well, I dunno about the whole women being excepted more. I think it's television and the sexist ideas put on the tv that make people think that. Because men love to see two girls kiss and put it on tv. Women do the same thing with gay/bi men but they dont really act on their ideas and put it on the tv. The "norm" of America differs, in my oppinion. I know alot of people completely against homosexuality. I know alot of people who thinks it's ok as long as it's two guys (for girls) and two girls (for guys). Then there are people who are ok with it, whether they are homosexual themselves or just dont really care. (shrugs) Correct me if Im wrong
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 4:39 pm
Blood Driven Kitten Some_Guy15 AkureiKnight I never really understood why the gay/lesbian community acts so harshly about bisexual people. I dont see why heterosexuals act so harshly to them either. I think that bisexuality is a good way to go. With either that being your life choice, or just a choice for the time because you dont know who you're going to fall in love with. You have to stay open minded if you really are wanting to find you soul mate. I see nothing wrong with being bi. I see nothing wrong with anyone's choice of sexual orientation. You are who you are; nothing more, nothing less. Society needs to learn to except people for who they are. Anyways, that was really interesting Jibberish. 3nodding Wow you took the words right out of my mouth, you arnt bi for no reason your bi cause your waiing for the right person to come along and yuo dont know whether thier a guy or a gal right...you catch my drift. And you both took the words right out of my mouth... ... now I have nothing to say... pooh on you. ^.^ xd xp
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 9:31 pm
AkureiKnight Shmoo-Chan Well, that could be a possabality, but it doesn't explain much. Any Hetrosexualy woman can be just as attractive as a bisexual woman. I'm talking in the eyes of 'people' the 'norm' of America, why is it more accepted. Well, I dunno about the whole women being excepted more. I think it's television and the sexist ideas put on the tv that make people think that. Because men love to see two girls kiss and put it on tv. Women do the same thing with gay/bi men but they dont really act on their ideas and put it on the tv. The "norm" of America differs, in my oppinion. I know alot of people completely against homosexuality. I know alot of people who thinks it's ok as long as it's two guys (for girls) and two girls (for guys). Then there are people who are ok with it, whether they are homosexual themselves or just dont really care. (shrugs) Correct me if Im wrong Well er... Maybe this will clear it up. Most of the 'norm' of america is against homosexuality (both male and femle) But are yet perfectly fine with Bisexuality. And yet its more excepeted for women to be bi than it is for men. Witch doesn't make sence to me. Why is it more excepetable for women than for men? Err.. Does that make my point clear-er ish?
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 1:03 pm
Shmoo-Chan AkureiKnight Shmoo-Chan Well, that could be a possabality, but it doesn't explain much. Any Hetrosexualy woman can be just as attractive as a bisexual woman. I'm talking in the eyes of 'people' the 'norm' of America, why is it more accepted. Well, I dunno about the whole women being excepted more. I think it's television and the sexist ideas put on the tv that make people think that. Because men love to see two girls kiss and put it on tv. Women do the same thing with gay/bi men but they dont really act on their ideas and put it on the tv. The "norm" of America differs, in my oppinion. I know alot of people completely against homosexuality. I know alot of people who thinks it's ok as long as it's two guys (for girls) and two girls (for guys). Then there are people who are ok with it, whether they are homosexual themselves or just dont really care. (shrugs) Correct me if Im wrong Well er... Maybe this will clear it up. Most of the 'norm' of america is against homosexuality (both male and femle) But are yet perfectly fine with Bisexuality. And yet its more excepeted for women to be bi than it is for men. Witch doesn't make sence to me. Why is it more excepetable for women than for men? Err.. Does that make my point clear-er ish? yah, but I've still never heard of bisexuality being more excepted than homosexulality. And with that being said, I've never heard of the women bisexuals being more excepted than male bisexuals. The same people that are against homosexuality (that I've met) are also against bisexuality since bisexuals go with same sex relationships as well..
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 3:05 pm
AkureiKnight yah, but I've still never heard of bisexuality being more excepted than homosexulality. Just as an example... I dated and hung out with many men who thought that two women kissing, fondling, and having sex was just about the sexiest thing they could think of wanting to see. The aforementioned boy once asked me to have a threesome with him and my best friend, but had I wanted to have a threesome with another man and him (yeah, right), he would have objected ten times as strenuously as I did. Bisexuality, as I have seen, is more accepted in women. Alternately, in my experience, there is a growing trend of women, particularly in the United States, who love seeing guy-on-guy action even if they're straight... I don't know what that means for the acceptance of bisexuality, but I find it interesting. Just throwing out my thoughts.
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 7:05 pm
AkureiKnight Shmoo-Chan AkureiKnight Shmoo-Chan Well, that could be a possabality, but it doesn't explain much. Any Hetrosexualy woman can be just as attractive as a bisexual woman. I'm talking in the eyes of 'people' the 'norm' of America, why is it more accepted. Well, I dunno about the whole women being excepted more. I think it's television and the sexist ideas put on the tv that make people think that. Because men love to see two girls kiss and put it on tv. Women do the same thing with gay/bi men but they dont really act on their ideas and put it on the tv. The "norm" of America differs, in my oppinion. I know alot of people completely against homosexuality. I know alot of people who thinks it's ok as long as it's two guys (for girls) and two girls (for guys). Then there are people who are ok with it, whether they are homosexual themselves or just dont really care. (shrugs) Correct me if Im wrong Well er... Maybe this will clear it up. Most of the 'norm' of america is against homosexuality (both male and femle) But are yet perfectly fine with Bisexuality. And yet its more excepeted for women to be bi than it is for men. Witch doesn't make sence to me. Why is it more excepetable for women than for men? Err.. Does that make my point clear-er ish? yah, but I've still never heard of bisexuality being more excepted than homosexulality. And with that being said, I've never heard of the women bisexuals being more excepted than male bisexuals. The same people that are against homosexuality (that I've met) are also against bisexuality since bisexuals go with same sex relationships as well.. Yes, I see where your point is. Alot of people who are against homosexuality are also against bisexuality.
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