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Alrite... I figured we need a place where we can share our funny life stories. Come on, we have all done stupid things at some point or another, lol.

I'll start things off. What you are about to read is a call i had to take when i worked for Roger Yahoo! Hi-Speed Internet tech support. And i kid you not... Everything you read, REALLY happened... It was simply amazing, lol. I am going to copy and paste it from a differet message board i posted it on, because I am to lazy to write it out again, lol.



hey, got home from wrok not to long ago... and the last call I had. I swear, the lady was as smart as a broken rock.
Now, why do I say this... Very simple. The basis of the call was she couldn't get her email from Yahoo. Now, for anyone here that knows computers, will know that a situation like this, would know there is a number of reasons it could be happening, but all the solutions are simple.

Now, for starters, this lady was useing an old computer.... Windows 98 old. It took about a minute for Internet Explorer to open, aisde from that, she thought Internet Explorer was Yahoo.
So, thats fine, I explain it to her. So, that gets cleard up. We are now about 15 minutes into the call.

So, first I figure I should check some of the browser settings. So I ask her to click on file. "Whats that?". Thats right, she didnt know what the "File" button was. So, after about 5minutes, we finally got the file menu open, and soon the Tools open. Got through the most settings and all seemd fine.

Now, this is where the call gets intresting. and bare in mind, it was 1am, which ment my shift was technically over.
I asked her what happened when she tried to get her mail. She said a box came up asked her to connect to the internet. That should not have come up, seeing as how we supply CABLE internet, not Dial up.

So thats ok, I told her to close that window and try clicking on a peice of mail. "I can't". Ok, so now we have to figure out why she cant, so I ask her, what happens when you click on a peice of mail.... Her reply..... Word for word
"Well, i put my arrow on my mail, and the arrow dissapears, and a little man starts running around."
Yes you read that correctly.
Now as part of the job, i have to confirm the problem, we repeat the problem to the customer.
So I look to my right to my friends Alex and Sara, and give them a strange look to grab their attention, then I say
"Ok, let me just confirm that. When you try clicking on your e-mail, your arrow dissapears off your screen, and a Little Man Starts Running Around Your Screen?(I put abit of emphesis behind the words with caps) Sara and Alex almost hit the floor laughing. I was fighting off laughing so much that i could have cried.

ok, so about another 30 minutes passes, and I am totally frustrated, because I have to explain EVERYTHING to the customer in MASSIVE detail, like, how to click on start. Yes, thats right, how to click the ******** Start button.

Turns out, She had her computer set to try and dial up to the internet, when acessing the internet.

We get her problem fixed, and she can get her e-mail... WIthout the little man running around! Great.

Now she asks "Why cant I install Google Earth?"
""I work for Rogers Yahoo!. We do not service, troubleshoot, or support Google Earth in ANYWAY at all."" It took her another 10 minutes to understnad that.

Then she asks "Can you help me set up my Hotmail account?"
Another 10 minutes later, she understands that she called ROgers Yahoo! and we only support Rogers Yahoo! products/services.


HOnestly, I dont know how I managed to stay on the phone so long.

Hahahaha. I'll have to put my comic script for my awesome summer job sometime.

As for real life stories... I have a lot.

~~~~~

We have this on going joke that my dad's in the mafia. He's an 81 year old (Yes. He's 81 and I'm 19. I'm a trophy child.) full Italian. He kinda looks like Mario. Well, one day I walked into the front room and seen him watching the History Channel.

Mari: What are you watching dad?

Dad: Something about Al Capone... I don't know why they got this s**t on here. The mafia never existed.

Mari: What?

Dad: The mafia never existed.

Mari: Ohhhhkay... *walks into the kitchen*

So therefore, millions of jokes have centered around this mafia thing. Even this AIM convo I had with my friend Dominic happened last night because of something me and my family were making fun of yesterday.

Mari Star 146: OMG! Made my dad uncomfortable today!
Mari Star 146: Whenever people talk about going somewhere in the States (doesn't matter where) he'll give you an exact route number and tell you how to get there.
Mari Star 146: And I was like "He knows all these routes when he had to go drop off dead bodies!" and he just grinned!
Beforehand87: hahaha
Beforehand87: That's not uncomfortable. That's like...proud.
Mari Star 146: Cause we was talking about Maine today and he's like "Get on route 90 all the way there. THere's a lot of forests and trees in Maine."
Mari Star 146: I was like "Wh-What?!"
Beforehand87: hahaha
Mari Star 146: No! It's uncomfortable! He grins to try to hide his anxiety!
Beforehand87: "There's lots of forests...and trees....and DEEP rivers."
Mari Star 146: And then my mom was like "He knows where Hoffa is!" and my dad was like "You know what PROBABLY happened to him? Ever see the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes"?"
Beforehand87: hahaha
Beforehand87: Oh god.
Beforehand87: Your father is awesome.
Beforehand87: I wonder if he'd kill someone for me.
Mari Star 146: Hahaha
Mari Star 146: He'd probably be like "What you talking about? Are you retarded?" then slip you a paper that said "Cash upfront. Meet me at midnight."
Beforehand87: hahaha
Beforehand87: YES!
Beforehand87: I think that's exactly how it would go.
Mari Star 146: Hahaha
Beforehand87: heart Frank.
Mari Star 146: Then he was like "You know what brought the great ones down? A woman. They get a bit jealous and tell everything."
Mari Star 146: "So that's why you weren't upset that mom left."

"She doesn't have ANYTHING on me. She only thinks she does."
Beforehand87: Is that for real?
Mari Star 146: What for real?
Mari Star 146: He did say that.
Beforehand87: That's CRAZY.
Beforehand87: Your dad doesn't care who knows, I think, anymore.
Beforehand87: He's old.
Mari Star 146: It was even more hilarious because Dave was all like "I remember when I went to Youngstown with him and we went to what they call the strip and the people in there were like 'Hey now, Frank. Didn't need to bring the muscle today.'" and my dad was like "They didn't say that. Stop lying."
Beforehand87: hahaha
Beforehand87: Your dad is now my favorite person EVER.
Beforehand87: And I'm not ******** with you until he's dead.
Mari Star 146: Hahahaha

More to come on my dad when I remember more. xd

My aunt once wanted to make a chocolate cake for a few of her friends, however my uncle loves sweets so she had to hide the chocolate bar she was going to use in a bag of flour. Everyday she would check to see if it as still there until the last day, when she opened the pack that day my uncle had replaced the cocolate bar with flour and sealed the wrapping again.
Just when she was about to go find him she noticed him running like mad out into the car and drove off to stay with a friend for the weekend.

xd

My mom is like clinically insane due to many different mental illnesses. But, we make fun of her. She makes fun of herself as well. She had to get electric shock therapy for a bit and it affect short-term memory. Well, whenever we'd talk about something (me, her, and my aunts) she'd be like "When did that happen?!" and we'd be like "They shocked that one out of you, Glenna." Or any other time she'd forget something, we'd be like "BZZT!"

Then she like almost had my one friend jump out of a moving vehical.

Mom: Now, Daniel. I need to tell you that I'm crazy.

Daniel: *just laughs thinking she's joking*

Mom: No. I'm serious. I have papers.

Daniel: Ah haha... Ha... *trying to open the car door*

Mari: Child lock.

Daniel: DAMNIT!!

Then when we vistited my Aunt Mattie and her daughter Devon... That proved more hilarious when we were in the car.

Devon: *being an annoying back-seat driver* You coulda went that way, you coulda went that way, you coulda went that way, you coulda went that way...

Mattie: I know! I ******** know! I coulda shot you in the head if you didn't shut up!

Mari: She coulda aborted you!!

Devon: *jaw drops* I can't believe you said that!!

Mari: What?! It's not like my mom never told me that before!

Mattie: Your mother never told you that!

Mom: Yes I did. She just laughed when I said it.

Mari: It's funny cause it's true!

Mattie: You're a sick little child. And you. *looks at Glenna* She gets it from you.

One of my uncles specializes in interrogation and calim he can detect when a person lies easily, So one day i decided to test both him and myself.

Uncle: Thomas! Have you seen my car keys?

Me: car keys?

Uncle: Yes, you stick them into a car, twist and their engine starts to run, just like a guy sticking his pecker into a woman and doing the same.

Me: .....I seriously didn't need those images in my head.

Uncle: Whatever, have you seen my car keys?

Me: No

Uncle: are you sure?

Me: I haven't seen them *holds a neutral expression on my face.*

Then when my uncle turns around and starts to head towards the door i chuck the car keys straight into back of his head.

Uncle: You lied!

Me: Yeah

Uncle: .....No wonder you don't have a criminal record. *Glares and leaves*

This just happened like... 15 minutes ago via text messages.

~~~~~

Mari Text: God, you're sexy.

Sean (boy who's like my brother) Text: JIGGA WHA?!

Mari Text: OMG! Sent that to the wrong person! Forget that!

Sean Text: Kay... o.o;

Mari Text: That was supposed to go to Matt!

Mari Text: I sent Sean a message I was going to send you by mistake! DX

Matt Text: Oh my god XD

Mari Text: "God, you're sexy." "WHAT?!" "OMG! Not you! Not you!!"

Matt Text: Hahaha XD

Mari Text: So yea... God, you're sexy.

Matt Text: Thanks XD

I think someone has a weird definiton of "funny"
o.o;;