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 Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:17 am
After a long long talk with my boyfriend we've decided that we're going to keep the baby. No one knows except him and my friend who was with me when I found out. Tell his parents are no problem, I'll actually be very relieved when they find out because I know they'll be supportive.
My problem is my father.
My mother died giving birth to me. While he loves me to bits, he's always blamed pregnancy for her death, and has taken on the idea that getting pregnant is a death sentence. I figured I'd have years to work on his outlook before I actually had to confront him with my own pregnancy but that's been sped up now.
I have no idea how I'm going to tell him about this. I fear 1) I'm going to break his heart or 2) He'll be so mad that he'll disown me.
He's prone to bouts of angry and holds gruges easily so #2 isn't just me being over worried.
I hope I can get some good advice here. Sorry if this is the wrong spot.
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 8:38 pm
Perhaps get a back-up plan in place before you tell him. Have a place to go and someone to take care of you before you tell him, in the event he'll get pissed and kick you out, or disown you, etc.
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 9:59 pm
I agree with Nikolita. Make sure to have a place to stay incase the worst happends.
But you just have to sit your father down and tell him the truth.
That even though you love him, and respect his ideas on how to live like, that isnt how you want to live yours.
Maybe something sappy about how wanting to be a mother, so you can experence the joy of bringing a child into the world, and do as great a job as he did. Or something like that.
Just make it clear that this is your decision, and that you will not back down from it. And while you love him, and dont want him mad, this is your choice, about how to live your life. That your an adult (You are an adult I assume right? or atleast close to one?) and that you want his support on this.
And even if he does flip out, give him time to cool off. Make it known that you want him to be there for you and your child. Let him cool off if he does react badly. Dont pressure him into taking this easy. Some things are better slower.
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 8:46 am
ASongIsBorn That your an adult (You are an adult I assume right? or atleast close to one?) and that you want his support on this. She's 16, according to her profile. Not quiiiite an adult yet.
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:42 pm
Nikolita ASongIsBorn That your an adult (You are an adult I assume right? or atleast close to one?) and that you want his support on this. She's 16, according to her profile. Not quiiiite an adult yet. Thats pretty much an adult. Atleast it depends more on the person. Some people mature at a faster rate. I am 17, but I consider myself an adult. Maybe not legaly an adult, but if your willing to have a child, your an adult in most cases.
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:13 am
Eh, but the bottom line? She's not legally an adult. I can consider myself a fulltime worker (I am a stay at home mom), but the reality is when I go to fill out paperwork, I have to say I am unemployed and I do not have a job. It's not "pretty much" it's being realistic. I don't think choosing to have a child automatically makes you an adult either, unless you've been emancipated, which RARELY occurs. Of course, I'm not saying there's not some mature teenagers out there (heck I know quite a few!), but it does not always an adult make.
This is scary, no doubt, but like Niko said, don't go it alone. My parents were furious when my sister told them she was pregnant. I know hurtful things were said as well. I'm going to disagree with the whole rubbing in "I'm an adult!" thing. Just stay calm, have someone go with you (be it the father or a good friend), let him know you've made your decision. Expect the worst, sometimes you get surprised. I know my parents stayed mad for awhile, but after my nephew was born, their focus changed.
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 12:18 pm
My mother was inches away from death when I was born, but my mom allowed the doctors to do some experimental treatment that saved her, and her sister who had the same problem. I Don't know why your mother died exactly, but remember that a lot of time has passed since then and that modern science has improved. They can work miracles at hospitals =)
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