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 Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:41 pm
Im sorry if the story is not any good.
"He was my friend." Tears rolled down her pale face, blood fire rages in her heart. "It mattered not that he was a con and a rouge. Those that took his life shall pay!" she curesed over her friend's body.
Kathren looked down into his lushes green eyes. There was no love or anything left in them but death. She was disguested that her friends body was laying in the back of an old dusty alley. The smell of blood and rotting stuff was overwhelming her. As she searched around the alley as quickly as she could. finding a red rose and her friends glasses broken. Kathren shedded her last tears over the body of her friend, swearing that she would find the one that took his life.
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 4:22 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 2:46 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:47 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:35 pm
I dont know why I cant write anymore.
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Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 8:07 am
Does anyone have a clue on what i should write next about? Im stuck of i cant think it through right.
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:21 am
Just sit some where you can get ideas.
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Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 8:44 pm
I would try mentioning something of how that situation came to be. Maybe like a flashback of some kind and then how it affects her life that her friend died.
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Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 5:48 pm
Write the story around the scene? What the hell's going on, etc.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 8:51 pm
That's a good beginning. But what are the names? Where do they live? Why was this friend killed? Who did it? ask yourself the who what when where questions. give more details details are always good. When you write you want to be able to be so detailed you can smell the paint on the walls. see the stream of blood streaming out of the chest. Feel the material of the victims blood splattered clothes. Detail.s
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 12:32 pm
i like where it's going... maybe you could a do flashback of how he died... idk..
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 10:54 am
I think it was pretty good. You should write more about how things happend, and perhaps about her hunting down his killers. Maybe later explaining why he was killed in the first place. One thing I do think you should change is the word stuff when you wrote "rotting stuff". Somehow it really pops out in the story and makes it sound weird to me. Maybe replace it with 'flesh' or something. Other than that, I liked it. biggrin
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 12:47 pm
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