Gather around, boys and girls. Uncle Langlen is going to tell you a story. A story, about Ozzfest 2006. This story begins at precicely 8AM on August 5th, 2006. That's when your dear uncle woke up after about 7 and a half hours of sleep. It was an adrupt wake up, and it took me a little while to wake up. But, I got up, checked Myspace and Gaia, and then took a shower. That helped wake me up. I then jumped back on the computer, and was on it until around 10, when I called my dear friend
Jordan's boyfriend,
Jon. He was supposed to pick me up, but was running late. He told me that he'd pick me up around 11, and I then went to play Gametap. I then remembered how ******** frustrating all Contra games are, and was talking to
Ed as well. Jon then picked me up, and we headed to Jordan's house.
From then, our lovely heros went to Taco Bell, and sated their hunger, and wet their parched throats. Not before of which, Jordan and Jon restocked their tobacco supply. From there, our heros reached their destination, The Verizon Wireless Virginia Beach Ampitheatre. They have reached Ozzfest. From their, our heros picked up more adventurers in their party.
Debbie, my ex-now-current girlfriend (explained later, children),
Teh Becka (tm) and Teh Becka (tm)'s boyfriend, Rob.Unfortunatly, Teh Becka (tm) and Rob did not stay with the party, therefore they did not share as much experience points. Therefore, for the time being, the party got reduced to 4. Better for leveling, you see.
After of which, the party met up with a few NPCs. Old friends, and new friends alike. One of hte NPCs became a playable character, but one that left the party later on. Our heros then moved onto the Second Stage, where such performers as Atreyu, Black Label Society, and Walls of Jericho were playing. Jordan and Jon braved the deadly Mosh Pit of DOOM, while me and Debbie stayed behind,. with the afformention NPC, who we will refer to as "n00b". The music was good, as was the atmosphere. NPCs all around, moshing and flashing and getting drunk and getting high, and having an all around general good time. Our heros met up with Teh Becka (tm) and Rob here and there, handing EXP back and forth. We all visited the signing booth, only to learn to our dismay, that the bands we wanted an autograph from, were only giving autographs to those with wristbands. We all sung a sad song, and then moved on.
And then, the time rolled around for the main events: The main stage bands. The time that our heros were so desparatly looking forward to. Our heros separated for a bit, Jordan and Jon going to the seats, me and Debbie staying in the lawn. For you see, Dragonforce was up firs,t and I wanted to be with her during Dragonforce. DragonForce played their lovely music, and we were all very satisfied. I then moved down to the seats, for Lacuna Coil was playing, and I wanted an up front view of that. They played an extremely good set, although there were a few...undesriables heckling behind us. I then went back up and hung with Debbie during Hatebreed, Avenged Sevenfold, Disturbed, and a bit of System of a Down. It was during Disturbed that your uncle and Debbie shared a kiss, signifying that they were officially back together again. Disturbed played an excellent set, of which was unfortunatly delayed due to the Boss Monsters arresting various females for showing their mid torsos to the crowd.
As for the title of this lovely story, The Quest of the Condom. Someone at the lovely event thought it'd be bright idea to pass out condoms. Of course, those condoms became baloons. Your uncle and Debbie watched, as one condom made its way from all the way in the back of hte lawn, to all the way onto the main stage. It was a dangerous quest, one that was almost cut short a few times, but the Condom finished its quest. And all rejoiced.
System of a Down then started playing. Our heros stayed for 2 songs, then me and Debbie walked to the gate, for she was leaving early to get back to her young one. We waited for a bit, then shared one final kiss, and I went back to the other party members, and had a blast during what I felt to be the best set of the night. Consisting of hindu guitar players, d**k Cheney references, and a dancing stormtrooper. Oh, it was a wonderful time.
After System of a Down, our heros reluctnatly left the excellent concert, tired, sore, but very, very happy. Your uncle was driven home, and he took a nice long hot bath, which relaxed his sore muscles. The moral of htis story, children? That nothing, NOTHING, compares to Ozzfest. Nothing. It is, without a doubt, a one of a kind experience. That you can get every year.
Now, children, you can go back to your new fangled videogames and listen to your loud and obnoxious music. Don't make me get the stick and beat you with it.
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