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Crap Golem
0
Creature - Golem
"How to keep a Crap Golem alive:
1) Glorious Anthem-like effect
2) There are no other way"
0/0

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OMG
0
Instant
OMG is white.
Play OMG only when you loose the game.
You don't loose the game. Your life total becomes 1.
"Oh my God!"

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Squish!
0
Instant - Faster-than-instants
Squish! is black.
Play Squish! only when a creature takes lethal damage.
Remove from the game target creature that has taken lethal damage.

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Are these just crappy or what?

Well, think about it. These cards by themselves make Mudhole look like a beauty. Then again, a lot of the personal cards these guys make in the guild make Mudhole look like a million dollars. =P