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another song i wrote

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the song lyrics are...
  really good
  ok
  could use some work
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_Built_to_Offend_666

PostPosted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 6:19 pm



ZIPPER

When there is nothing and the world fades to black
When the cuts no longer sting and there's no one coming back
Powerless to the larger swarm of swine
Covered in ticks and bleeding from the tick of time

Autopsy reports tell the tales of tommorow
To kill yourself now would deem yourself forgotten
What have we become? Conscience slit its wrists with its sorrow
People in your life would leave your carcass rotten
It's so much easier to hate those you love

Lonely child crying until the angel parts
Lonely child in a vacant empty world
Lonely child's tears now turn to scars
The last child on an Earth now buried under mold

In a world of falling comets, wait until the dream comes true
Wait until the blood clots - wait until there is no you
Wish for some vast miracle to kill away your pain
Then thank your god for this life that kills away your soul

Inside your mind the world is a collapsing lung
There is a graveyard that shelters all your freinds
You built the noose where all your loved ones are hung
All of your life's work rewarded with this dead end
It is so much easier to hate those you love

Lonely child crying until the angel parts
Lonely child in a vacant empty world
Lonely child's tears now turn to scars
The last child on an Earth now buried under mold

In a world of falling comets, wait until the dream comes true
Wait until the blood clots - wait until there is no you
Wish for some vast miracle to kill away your pain
Then thank your god for this life that kills away your soul

Wait until the wasteland cuts us into pieces
Wait until you die - wait until you have a life
Wait until your fear arrives and feeds the maggots feces
Nothing left to see anymore so seal up your eyes
It is so much easier to hate those you love

Thank god for life
Thank god for my scars
Thank god for misery
Thank god for death
Thank god for nothing
Thank god for all of this
Thank god for hunger
Thank god for pain

{
Over my head and into your mind
A good reason to live is hard to find
Over your head and into my bind
I can see everything that made me blind
} - [x2]

{
Close your eyes - everything goes away
Everything that opens can be closed again
} - [x4]

{
Lonely child crying until the angel parts
Lonely child in a vacant empty world
Lonely child's tears now turn to scars
The last child on an Earth now buried under mold

In a world of falling comets, wait until the dream comes true
Wait until the blood clots - wait until there is no you
Wish for some vast miracle to kill away your pain
Then thank your god for this life that kills away your soul
} - [x2]

Wish for someone to torcher those you fear
Wish for someone to torcher those you fear
Your guardian angel tears apart all you fear
Wish for someone to torcher those you fear
PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:17 pm


am i to take it from the silence that this is another crapy song i wrote or something? could someone at least tell me what's wrong with it?

_Built_to_Offend_666


x__deadsoul

PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:14 pm


no no, it's a wonderful song. they're great lyrics =] they really are...i can definitely relate quite a bit...especially that bit about it being easier to hate those you love.

heh. well overall, i like your song =] though i can't help noticing that at the end it should be spelled "torture" rather than "torcher" =X
PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 7:00 pm


x__deadsoul
no no, it's a wonderful song. they're great lyrics =] they really are...i can definitely relate quite a bit...especially that bit about it being easier to hate those you love.

heh. well overall, i like your song =] though i can't help noticing that at the end it should be spelled "torture" rather than "torcher" =X


thanks for the compliment biggrin

and yeah, good thing you caught that spelling error near the end X| i never even noticed

_Built_to_Offend_666


Anonigoth

PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:50 pm


Yeah, I like it!

I would make it kind of an industrial/metal type of song, but that's just me...

Yeah, this particular forum is kind a slow moving, so if you don't get a replay for weeks, it's really just cause not a lot of people come here XD

keep posting your stuff 3nodding
PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:52 pm


hmm, might also work as a Draconian or Lacuna Coil type of song... with a mixture of death-metally type screaming and fem vox singing the melody and chorus

I think I think too much XD

Anonigoth


_Built_to_Offend_666

PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 6:37 pm


Anonigoth
hmm, might also work as a Draconian or Lacuna Coil type of song... with a mixture of death-metally type screaming and fem vox singing the melody and chorus

I think I think too much XD


ive just recently startted tabbing the song with stuff like "Tournaquet" and "Dried Up, Tied Up, And Dead To The World" (the chorus) by Marilyn Manson with a little touch of something like "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails
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