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 Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:54 am
i had a baby once, my parents made me abort it. They guy i was with would have stuck by me if i was allowed to keep it.
But now i want a baby. I saw my friend's nephew and he smiled at me. I thought i want a baby...i know it's stupid, i'm only 17.
Like i want one but i know i can't have one, cause i have no money and all that. And the guy i was with i don't trust anymore. Were not together but he would have made a great dad.
like to me it's silly, i want one but i know i can't have it LOL.
I would have loved to have a child to him and be with him. But now he doesn't treat me right, so i had to tell him to leave....
i feel bad cause he was a dad and i took that from him.
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:59 pm
First off, having those maternal instincts and pangs to want a baby, it's perfectly normal. So many women go through it. I wouldn't call it stupid at all. You seem to let logic, not an urge, prevail which is the upmost important thing. I know I was hit bad by the baby bug last year, but my husband was deployed and it wasn't going to happen. I did find spending time with smaller babies and friend's children helped with the itch. I wanted it to be the best for the baby, not for my baby bug. Which mind you, it's one hell of a bug, I know.
As for the guy, I am going to be frank. If he cared and really would have "stuck by" you, he would still be there and wouldn't have treated you like that. It sounds extremely horrible that he would have only been there for you, loved you, if you had a baby. It's just as bad as those guys that say "If you love me, you'll do this." I don't know about you, but if he couldn't even treat his girlfriend right, I have my doubts he would have treated a baby any better.
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Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 11:17 pm
I feel the same way right now, and I 'm a year younger then you. Its normal lol even all my friends feel that way. Obviously though you have enough sense to no better. Sorry I know I make very little sense..
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 9:08 am
I feel the same way, and I'm about to turn 20. As much as I want to be a parent at my age though, I know that getting pregnant might cause me to lose my boyfriend in my life. In addition, even if he were to stick by me, we'd have a hard time being financially able to support ourselves and a baby - even with family help.
So I know it's better to wait until both my boyfriend and I want children together, if we get to that point.
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 1:05 pm
I feel the same way and I'm almost 22. When my husband and I moved in together and the urges got so bad that I could hardly bear it, we got a cat. Now I lavish that cat with all that love and affection that I would like to direct towards a baby. It's not the same thing, by any means, but it helps.
Playing some games, like the Sims, can help as well. If you have Sims 2, use the cheat code to stop time running and you can have a baby to take care of for as long as you want.
Most of us girls get this feeling. It's 100% normal. You just have to stay strong and realize that you simply are not ready. Try to find some outlets for your urges to make them more bearable. There isn't too much else you can do.
Best of luck and remember that you aren't alone smile
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:31 pm
Kukushka I feel the same way and I'm almost 22. When my husband and I moved in together and the urges got so bad that I could hardly bear it, we got a cat. Now I lavish that cat with all that love and affection that I would like to direct towards a baby. It's not the same thing, by any means, but it helps. Playing some games, like the Sims, can help as well. If you have Sims 2, use the cheat code to stop time running and you can have a baby to take care of for as long as you want. Most of us girls get this feeling. It's 100% normal. You just have to stay strong and realize that you simply are not ready. Try to find some outlets for your urges to make them more bearable. There isn't too much else you can do. Best of luck and remember that you aren't alone smile Heh, you know that's probably the reason why I love the Sims games so much. I don't have Sims 2 yet though, because of my lack of a quality computer. I'd love to have a cat. I was supposed to bring my previous landlady's daughter's cat, but the place I'm living in now didn't allow them because they had a dog. Less than a week after I moved in, they had to put the dog down. gonk The sad thing is the cat loved me to bits, and I loved it back.
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 4:29 am
Yes I did the cat thing... sweatdrop redface Boy friend got a dog which I hate! scream evil
My cat does help a lot though, and I love my little Bunny heart heart (yes that's his name and yes I am aware it is weird). Thing is now it is so much worse and wil get even worse because my dumb a** brother got his girl friend pregnant so they'll have the baby at my parents all the time so that will just suck ever more for me. He's 17 by the way, I'm 19 and I'm not ready! How the hell he is dealing with it I really don't know, but he stepped up to the plate and is sticking with her so I am very, very proud of him for that. biggrin Brave idiot whee . But there are far to many girls that are left alone with a baby and him just being there all the way again made me feel so proud.
Anyway! xd Ya so it will be hell when he gets his and I have nothing but Bunny...Still me and boy friend have to wait, with me just finished my first year of University and his second a baby would be bad at this point. Not to mention are problems we are having, which is a whole other story, not worth getting into.
So again all womenf eel your pain cause of that Damn Tick! So don't feel bad as said before just use logic and fight the tick! Fight it!
As well I am sorry for the loss of your first baby. heart
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:24 pm
We all have that bug. I'm 22, and living with my Fiance, and seeing other people's babies is hard. I have to wait, we don't have our own house yet, we're living in a city we both hate while we get our finances established, and we're not done with career training yet. I estimate about three years before I can have my own, and I can't have any animals in the building we're in now.
It's hard, we all sympathize and share your sentiments, but it's true, logic has to stay stronger then desire.
I have a rabbit, though we're not allowed animals, he's easy to hide. I cuddle him and he's so sweet, it helps, but it doesn't take away the want to have a kid. Babies are SO expensive, and physically draining, I know to have one before we're established would only do both the baby and us a huge disservice. Bringing a baby into an established lifestyle is my goal, so none for me yet.
Your urges are not stupid, as we've all said, we all have them.
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Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:40 am
well, honestly im not sure if its limited to just women and girls having this erge.
My fiance and i have had it since.....we got together about three years ago (I was 16) hes....looked at little kids and dreamed ofour own. Hes looked at the baby shoes at walmart and got that lil twinkle in his eye right along with me.
When we play with my siblings (i have four year old triplet siblings...that we take care of allot together. When hes not on assignment (airforce))
we want them even more.
we've had tobe so carefull with sex..till this point >.< and i actually could be pregnant..im not sure. havnt tested yet..dono if its to early or not or im being silly.
But yea, we've had to becarefull with sex our entire relationship. Because...we....are so driven.
But! I've wanted kids since i was a little girl...babybugs....are so common in my life..i think i have it chronicly lol
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Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:31 pm
lunashock First off, having those maternal instincts and pangs to want a baby, it's perfectly normal. So many women go through it. I wouldn't call it stupid at all. You seem to let logic, not an urge, prevail which is the upmost important thing. I know I was hit bad by the baby bug last year, but my husband was deployed and it wasn't going to happen. I did find spending time with smaller babies and friend's children helped with the itch. I wanted it to be the best for the baby, not for my baby bug. Which mind you, it's one hell of a bug, I know. As for the guy, I am going to be frank. If he cared and really would have "stuck by" you, he would still be there and wouldn't have treated you like that. It sounds extremely horrible that he would have only been there for you, loved you, if you had a baby. It's just as bad as those guys that say "If you love me, you'll do this." I don't know about you, but if he couldn't even treat his girlfriend right, I have my doubts he would have treated a baby any better. well as far as the guy, luna, I'd have to disagree. With Sierra, If by some chance (like i'm worried about now) if she turned out pregnant, I'd work out whatever differtences we had, and I'd marry that girl, becaus i wouldn't want any baby of mine growing up without a father. second, if it turns out she isn't, I'm not so much pressured to stay with her. i still want to marry her either way, but without a baby in the picture, there's less actual PRESSURE to stay commited. it's more of a REQUIREMENT than a choice when that comes up. see what i'm saying? he maybe just had diferences and saw no reason to stay. on a lighter note, the only reason i hope Si isn't pregnant is more for her than for me. i can always go to a community college and transfer my credits, i just want to be a teacher, but she's destined to go far, and i want to support her, a baby would mean her life becomes the baby's, and our focus is no longer personal life, but family. but enough about my goals. to you, dreamer, i'd say it's fine to want one, but you know, be careful what you wish for.
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Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 9:13 am
Tre Kitasudesu lunashock First off, having those maternal instincts and pangs to want a baby, it's perfectly normal. So many women go through it. I wouldn't call it stupid at all. You seem to let logic, not an urge, prevail which is the upmost important thing. I know I was hit bad by the baby bug last year, but my husband was deployed and it wasn't going to happen. I did find spending time with smaller babies and friend's children helped with the itch. I wanted it to be the best for the baby, not for my baby bug. Which mind you, it's one hell of a bug, I know. As for the guy, I am going to be frank. If he cared and really would have "stuck by" you, he would still be there and wouldn't have treated you like that. It sounds extremely horrible that he would have only been there for you, loved you, if you had a baby. It's just as bad as those guys that say "If you love me, you'll do this." I don't know about you, but if he couldn't even treat his girlfriend right, I have my doubts he would have treated a baby any better. well as far as the guy, luna, I'd have to disagree. With Sierra, If by some chance (like i'm worried about now) if she turned out pregnant, I'd work out whatever differtences we had, and I'd marry that girl, becaus i wouldn't want any baby of mine growing up without a father. second, if it turns out she isn't, I'm not so much pressured to stay with her. i still want to marry her either way, but without a baby in the picture, there's less actual PRESSURE to stay commited. it's more of a REQUIREMENT than a choice when that comes up. see what i'm saying? he maybe just had diferences and saw no reason to stay. on a lighter note, the only reason i hope Si isn't pregnant is more for her than for me. i can always go to a community college and transfer my credits, i just want to be a teacher, but she's destined to go far, and i want to support her, a baby would mean her life becomes the baby's, and our focus is no longer personal life, but family. but enough about my goals. to you, dreamer, i'd say it's fine to want one, but you know, be careful what you wish for. There is no requirement for guys to stay and I think that it is a stupid world were people get married because of pregnancy and no other reason. I have seen it with alot of friends of mine and it makes me sick they think they are doing there child good but they arent. It would be better for them to both be involved as seperate parents in the childs life. I know I am rather off topic but its ia a strong opinion I hold to. When I got pregnant I told my fiance that I didnt want him to marry me just because of the baby I told him if he had no obligations to me and not even the child if he chose that path. Because of that I feel safe in the knowledge that my husband loves me and married me not just the fetus that became our son. Wotfan
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Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 10:39 am
I have to say the same. I've told my boyfriend that if I get pregnant unexpectedly, he does not have to stay in the picture. And if he does stay with me once I've been pregnant and had the baby, I wouldn't want him to do it just because of the baby.
I'd rather be seperated if we had relationship problems, even with a baby, than "stay together for the baby" and fight all the time. Or stay together when it would work out better to live seperately, etc. Getting pregnant does not (and should not, IMO) automatically equal getting married. Especially if you can't even help pay for some of the wedding yourselves.
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Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 12:54 pm
Thank you for bringing up that good and logical point Niko and wotfan! I think it's a little insulting to suggest that you can't be a good father unless you marry the mother of your child. I know my husband thanks god every day he didn't do that stupid thing. I'm not saying it doesn't sometimes work out, but the VAST majority of cases where that happens, it hurts the child in the long run. I think it's a bit backwards that it's considered "chivalrous" of a man to do that. You can still be a good father and not have to get married. It's extremely outdated and thankfully most people are wisening up that baby does not automatically equal shotgun wedding.
My sister was one of those and I vowed I would NOT marry my husband if I were to become pregnant, no matter my feeling about him because there would always be that "is he with me just because I had a baby." Luckily for us, it took two weeks after being married that we found out. I am very happy, but I still would have stood by that decision if things worked out differently.
Yes, I am very family oriented, but I still focus on my personal life. It's just the same as going into a relationship, yes, you have a new focus on a couple, but it doesn't mean your existence is being a relationship.
I don't see how I should be applauding and rooting for Dreamer's ex because he didn't see anything useful in her except as a breeder and because he didn't feel obligated. He sounds like an a**, to be frank. The logic doesn't add up.
edit: To clarify, my husband became a teen father at 17 who is my stepson. Even though he did not marry her and we do not get to see him very often due to the military, he is a good father and an adored big brother, marrying her would not have changed that.
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Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 4:56 pm
I dont have any doubts about why my hubby married me becasue we talked it out and were engaged before we found out about our son the only issue I have is I think alot of our family thinks that that is why we got married so I dont think they have much faith in our love.
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Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:14 pm
wotfan I dont have any doubts about why my hubby married me becasue we talked it out and were engaged before we found out about our son the only issue I have is I think alot of our family thinks that that is why we got married so I dont think they have much faith in our love. I have the same problem..I'm having trouble coping with it but... I guess as long as you know why you got married, who really cares what they think, right? At least, that's what I keep telling myself... sweatdrop
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