Elves.. Many of your dont know much about me but I was once going to be married.

I apologize if anything is a but too TMI. But it helps explain how Ifeel..

I was going to get married. It was a internet relation for a long while.
But August I went there and spent a few days with her. There I had lost my viriginty. She had given it away earlier. Everything was great. I still remember that cute face starring back at me, this ghost of love looking back at me and as we kissed. Anyway. I had went home and I school came shortly after and I told everyone of her,showed them the rings she gave me..told them how much I loved her..until October came around and she went to spend the weekend with a guy a few towns over and left her cellphone with her friend Ashley and I got scared. A lot has happened to me in the past to make me this way. I can not help it a lot but its getting better. Anyway. I asked her several times if she had slept with him. And one night they,her and this guy, go to a club and I called several times trying to talk to Kim...it was a lot of frustration and finally he answers and tells me not to call her anymore. Said she was crying and didnt want to talk to me..she said they had sex and I was astonished..we talked and I decided to break it off..how could someone I trusted with my virginity to throw it away so soon..anyway. Good lord its so hard to type this.

Its been a year and Ive had no luck with anyone. And literally..I miss her so much.even through all the names Ive called her..I just cant escape the memories Ive had. I remember her waking up and kissing me before I was opening my eyes.


Whats with this elves? I can't understand why I can't let go..and I just can't wait for a right girl with the recent s**t thats happened between my friend and girl I was courting since Feb. Id rather not explain that..

Why does she still haunt me?