So yesterday at internship the message was about break throughs and stuff...And to get a breakthrough you can't just do stuff because you feel you have to, it's because you feel on fire for God and stuff. Well at the end the Pastor spoke and said "To get a breakthrough, God needs to break you." But that didn't really hit me until I really thought about what Jess said. She asked her small How do you define pride. And one the younger girls said, it's plagerism...Putting your name on what God has done...And I was like wow...Thats soo true for a lot of people. But for me it's the other way around. I falsifiy what God wants to do and put on this act saying if God wants it done it'll happen. And God is saying, the oppurnity is here. I want it done, it's there...You gotta do it now. You have to be humble and do this because you love me...And I'm saying well if God wants it done it'll just happen. Thing is God uses you were you are uncomfortable to test your faith in him. And I'm very prideful and insecure when it comes to preaching to family about God, talking to my small group about how I feel on things or on what God is doing in me, or even praying infront of them. I'm very insecure...So I just was like wow...I'm doing worse than plagerizing I'm blaming God for my disobedience and this what I wrote...

It's so easy to plagerize,
So easy to falsify.
I can stay this way and it would be easy.
How Stagnant I've become,
How complacency entered into me.
Only because it's so easy to plagerize,
So easy to falsify.

So hear my plea,
Let my heartache to where I give you credit,
Let my heartache to where I say it was my fault,
Let my heartache to where I adimit I was the fraud and you are the true writer.

Let my heartache to no longer plagerize, to no longer falsify.

**Plagerism and falsifying can only cover my insecurities to people, but God can still see me in secret, and reveals them everytime.**

Then tonight at worship, Pastor Wade told us to sing our own song, just let the spirit speak to us, and this was mine.

You are the writer. I am the writted. It is in you that I was created.


I hope it's ok that I post this but I thought it was important to share with yall. Comments are welcomed and stuff...Feedback and discussion is encouraged.