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 Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:02 pm
等待
BY：RIYOKU SAKIMORI
心中的回音像飞鹅的翅膀，
像海鸟，飞往大海的波浪。
泪水的歌声是云后的阳光，
和等待雨停的太阳一样。
我站在泪水的歌声中，
等待这雨后的彩虹。
我的海鸟要飞多长
才能达到大海之旁？
你的温柔是美丽地彩虹，
挂在个蓝色地天空中。
夜空的月亮是你的笑容，
像彩虹下温暖地春风。
无数的年，无数的天，
你记不记得我的脸？
我会站在风雨之中，
等待你的彩虹和笑容。
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:50 pm
sorry, i can't read this, i'll post again later when my mom tells me what it means blaugh
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 6:11 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 6:13 pm
my mom came home and she read it to me
she said that it was, meh, and that there were a couple of errors in there
(ex. there's somewhere in there where the word ground or something like that isn't suppose to be there (i'm not sure, i think that's what she said))
but i liked how it rhymed 3nodding , i don't like free-verse poems blaugh
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm
Wow, did you write this? Totally cool! I'm not good with metaphors and imagery in poetry, unless it's dark and depressing...
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:32 pm
I'm only thirteen, this isn't my best work anyway...but it's better than mom's even if it's probaly full of mistakes.
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:55 pm
Riyoku Sakimori I'm only thirteen, this isn't my best work anyway...but it's better than mom's even if it's probaly full of mistakes. I can't write anyhting like it, and I can't make chinese rhyme, just never worked for me.
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 3:46 am
hey this is pretty good! when u read it in chinese some of it doesn't really make sense..but then i went to www.dictionary.com and translated it straight into english and it made sense....did u originally write it in chinese??? or translated it from english..or at least some stuff from english......
it is like u made a direct translation from english so it doesn't realli make sense in chinese...but it's already realli good.
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 3:47 am
when my oldest sister read it she thought it was lyrics...mayb u can turn it into a song??
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 4:35 am
shinelover when my oldest sister read it she thought it was lyrics...mayb u can turn it into a song?? Indeed! 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:31 am
making it a song would be kinda cool wink ...i think ........... (i'm just gonna leave it at there)
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:03 am
cold_blooded_chick shinelover when my oldest sister read it she thought it was lyrics...mayb u can turn it into a song?? Indeed! 3nodding lol yeh i thought it was kinda like a song too!!!! but i couldn't read a lot of it coz it's in simp. chinese....i should practise simp. more
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:08 am
Good idea, I just got this great music that might go with it perfectly...and its floating around in my head...
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:29 am
Riyoku Sakimori Good idea, I just got this great music that might go with it perfectly...and its floating around in my head... nice...can i listen to it when u finish???? lol mayb u can get someone to sing it along to the music or u can sing then! then put it on the net so we can all listen!!!!! heart Good luck with the music!!!!!
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:32 am
Okay, I've got the song format here:
等待
BY：RIYOKU SAKIMORI
心中的回音象飞鹅的翅膀，
象海鸟，飞往大海的波浪。
泪水的歌声是云后面的阳光，
和等待雨停的太阳一样。
我站在泪水的歌声中，
等待这雨后的彩虹。
我的海鸟要飞多长
才能达到大海之旁？
等待你，回到我 的身边。
等待你的爱，等见到你的脸。
等待你，请不要随风去，
我会永远在这里，等待你。。。
你的温柔是美丽地彩虹，
挂在个蓝色地天空中。
夜空的月亮是你的笑容，
像彩虹下温暖地春风。
无数的年，无数的天，
你记不记得我的脸？
我会站在风雨之中，
等待你的彩虹和笑容。
等待你，回到我 的身边。
等待你的爱，等见到你的脸。
等待你，请不要随风去，
我会永远在这里。。。
应为我会很想你。。。
请不要忘记。。。
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