I got uber tons more!
So a blind guy walks into a bar and asks the bar tender "Oi... you wanna hear a blond joke?" and the bartender says "Before you tell it, there is something you should know. There are two men behind you playing pool. Both are professional wrestlers... and both are blond. There is a cop sitting next to you who is blond, and a beatiful blond woman on the other side. And I am blond. Wanna tell the joke now?" he asked, and the blind man thought and said "No thank you. I don't wanna have to reapeat it 5 times."
whee
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you.... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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