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I see my life so far in two stages: Pre- and Post-depression. Almost all of my memories and who I was before I was about 15 I can't recall. So what follows is from 15 to where I am now, at 20. I was raised entirely secularly.

I started out being a borderline-nihilist, definitely an atheist. My outlook on life was VERY bleak, I saw everything as illusory, and I lived in an inner abyss. This was about the time my Empathy powers skyrocketed and my awakening began. And Empathy and Depression DO NOT MIX. Eventually everything started to take its toll--I fell into the addictive habit of cutting, and other forms of self-mutilation. Things continued downwards on a slippery slope that finally lead to my attempt of suicide.

But as you can see, I'm still here, alive and well. That night I got a glimpse at how wrong I had been. I then met someone who helped me turn my life around, and helped guide me into breaking my destructive habit, and lead me to a belief in God. It's been a long road since that turning point two and a half years ago, but it's great.

I then started college, and started studying Religion as my major. Last year, I discovered a local spiritual congregation called 'Unity', and have attended there since. I'm very grateful, nowadays for how things have turned out spiritually and psychically for me--I was a very fortunate case, and I hope I can use my experiences to help others in this lifetime.

I was raised in the church, as both of my parental units are pastors. I searched for something when I left home at 18. I was lost until I came back to christianity a year or so later. A couple of near- death experiences and prophetic dreams later, here I am. Demon hunter. I cast demons out in the name of Jesus, bless houses or areas; or objects to keep them away, as well as advise others in that area.

eek More?

I've had several events that are significant in my life.


My first otherworldly experiences

My first recollection of a bump in the night was a large shadow that swooped down from my bed one night as I came back from the bathroom. My next memory is a large bite mark on my arm when I woke up one morning a year or so earlier. It was too big for my mouth, and too broad for our dog. Next is that I could see auras, simply as bright clouds around people. And finally, a full shadow-body manifestation of a ghost.

The bridge in the Void

I had a dream when I was in grade school, about nine or ten years old. That I was running down a boardwalk suspended in total nothingness. stretching as far as I could see. I ran for a long time, until I saw a bridge up ahead. I sped up so I could get there. As I reached it and turned to cross it, I saw a tall man in a white tuxedo with a red corsiage on his left breast. I ran towards him, his face was shrouded. Until he summoned a massive spiked wheel onto the bridge and made it roll my way. I turned tail and ran. I kept running until the board walk suddenly vanished in front of me. And the wheel was almost upon me until the boardwalk beneath me collapsed and the wheel and I plummeted into the Void. Then I woke up.

Early Experience with Magic, Psi and Unseen-forces

After my cousin's death (which I document as my subseqsequent leaving the Church in my despair), I was thoroughly convinced that there was more to the universe that just lots of space, matter and energy. So, with questions in my heart, I sought answers through many papers on prophetic dreaming, psychic phenomenon, and documentation of prophetic dreams. After I done enough research on that, my curiousity had been piqued by psi, energy working and the many forms of magic.

I worked with affirmations and simple forms of psychic tests. As I was reading on the paths of magic as I developed my own theory on Higher Beings, I also became introduced to the topic of otherkin. And through many months of self-exploration and reflection, found I was a celestial. And a year later, I found my name.

I studied Wicca for a number of months, intending to become a Wiccan once I left for college. But later dropped the idea when I found my Inner Temple on a trip to Acadia, and concluded I could practice magic with or without a religion that uses it. With my knowledge of the elements, chakras, and energy, I began to experiment with ceremonies. Combining ideas from different systems into my own little paradigm. So, I guess at this moment in time, I can be called a rookie magician.

Encounters with Entities

As my magic education progress, I met spirits along the way. My own guardian, some ghosts and nature spirits in my neighborhood. My once supressed abilities began to resurface with their help.

But not all spirits I meet are the kind you could sit down with on a Sunday and have a cup of tea. Two beings have attacked me in my lifetime. One interrupted a conversation with my guides and delivered a death threat. Then proceeded to use his own minions to ambush me. And the second attacked me in a dream, he was a shape shifter. I beat him and woke up without any harm.


- This will be Edited in the Future-

*PM me if you want to know more.

My life is not just one story, it's many stories. But here is one of them.

People think I'm crazy, and I understand why they see me that way.
It's a way to deal with something different that you cannot understand.
Words like "crazy", "evil", they become dark labels that cut us away from those who don't want to understand, or simply can't understand.
It's not much different from saying, "you are from the Devil, you go to Hell". It's casting the first stone, casting someone outside in the dark.

That's why I can't talk much about myself to others anymore. Their misunderstanding might come in a form of pity or will to help, but still it's just misunderstanding, making you more alone. Not everyone I love has abandoned me. But when I most need their help, they don't know what to do, so they get scared and angry and take me to hospital.

Talking to doctors is the worst I know. They have the power to deside what the hospital can do to you, and if you don't like what they do, no-one can really help you. Yes, they are trying to help you, to turn you into a normal person you never were. Talk too much and they give you more drugs. Say no to drugs, and they will force you to take them, just for your own good. They are the good ones, you are sick, you are crazy. That's why they are always right. What you think is wrong.

And the people who love me come to take me home from the hospital, see my pain, and don't understand why my "sickness" wasn't healed. They don't know what I go through, they can't see it, they can't hear it, and my words can't reach them anymore.

Or maybe I have become the blind one, being too long time alone in the dark.

Well, I guess since I'm awake I'll write this thing. Not like I've got much better to do, eh? I can't write my entire story, though, or even all the sides of it, so I'll just tell the one that's relevant.

I was born in two halves. One half was a child, and one half was an adult with a very corrupt mind; this lead to a lot of conflict over the years, as half of me wanted to be a normal kid and have friends, while the other wanted world domination and the subjugation (or destruction) of the human race. On top of that, I've had horrible nightmares my entire life, and on top of THAT, I have a myriad of problems with my health, from asthma to aspergers to ADD. On top of all of that, add a complete lack of friends and strong urges to comit acts of evil. The end result would be who I was back then. But with a few hard knocks, a suicide attempt in the second grade, and a couple years of isolation with my only friend being a rat named Lydia, you get the me of the present, someone who has used his nightmares, dreams, and life experiences to fuel his creativity as a writer, as well as further his abilities to feel empathy.

It was the internet that gave rise to my thinking myself an empath; I would go into chat rooms, and know a person's feelings, or get vibes off of them. Just from text, even if my intuition told me they felt the opposite of what they wrote, I could guess how they felt. And usually my guesses were right if I didn't think too much about them. I've even started applying it to real life, although I don't know how I do it... I just look at the person, and I get a "feel" from them. It's not an exact science (indeed, I can't even control it) but I've used it to help friends before, and I hope with some practice it'll get better. I still have trouble telling "tired" and "sad" apart.

Oh, and sprinkle some religion in there, as my parents couldn't decide whether to raise me Catholic or Protestant. I think I grew up the latter, but again, I was a wicked little mongrel, so it wasn't until after I hit 14 that I began to do more than just say I was a Christian. Seem rather deppressing? I've done my fair share of living in my life, mostly in recent years. Found out what spoiled applesauce tastes like, and survived quite a few head injuries; I've loved and lost, and not loved at all; I've been to Heaven and Hell, although I'll leave it to you to guess which one I preferred; and I'd like to think I did some good in my lifetime, along with the bad. I just hope that the good I've done can redeem me. If not, then it will be God's judgement, and no other's.

I'm not exactly sure how to go about this, so i'll just start (please forgive any spelling errors..)

I went through alot of religions - i was baptized 3 times. First as a Catholic, then as a "Christian", then as a Latter-Day Saint. I'm still with the last one, but i also considered Luthernisim (my dad was/is [not sure which] a lutheren) and my mom was a Catholic, now turned Christian. I never really had any problems with demons (except for the sometimes knowing suddenly that all the babies were crying because they were there - never seen one though). I've also considered Wicca, though wasn't allowed to do much of anything other than one failed spell. sweatdrop

I've always had dreams though. Sometimes they were easy to understand, sometimes hard - but eventually i always get them. I've met people in them that i don't know only to see them later - and one time i was worried about a friend going somewhere only to dream that they weren't there when i had been suspecting that they were - and turned out my dream was right.

I've also considered taking over the world (who hasn't? sweatdrop ) with a few friends - but that was before i "woke up". Yes i've read alot of what you guys put down and it's not the "waking up" you're saying i'm saying the kind of waking up that you actually "WAKE UP" and see what you're doing and how you have to be responsible for everything you do. I didn't wake up until i was 18 and my dad had nearly killed himself i think there might be a ghost or a demon in the house but for some reason it doesn't affect me but that is WAYYY off topic...

Anyway, i had always been interested in telekinesis even before that movie MAtilda came out it's just like i was meant to do it at some point but i've only just now started to get a hang on it. you see all i did when i was little was pretend i never actually did anything i was always into books and one day (this was when i was really into magick or whatever) and i got into the wicca/magic section of the bookstore we were at and my dad (who was into the stuff a little himself or wanted me to have a chance to see one of the two) let me get ahold of a divination book.
When i came home with it mom was like "what the heck is " yeah you can guess frm there

Aka, been into freaky stuff all my life.

Anyway...life storie. Um anyway my parents are now divorced (yay) because my dad turned out to be a manipulative suicidic kind of guy but since he's moved to Montana he say's he's better off and i believe it and that's why i think there might be a ghost in the house we live in the only problem is that we got to sell the place n i don't want anyone to have to live with the thing (if there is one) so if anyone can tell me how to try to start seeing ghosts, then please tell me! also i need to get rid of it....

Oh, and yes i'm teaching myself telekinesis. Or should i say reteaching i dont' know i might have had telekinesis when i was earlier...

Which brings up another point.

I have always been able to affect the wind ( aka, areokinesis as far as i'm aware) and bring storms. How i know this is because our house has never ("knock on wood) been hit by a tornado. I live in tornado alley - tornadoes happen every year, so we've been lucky. I've tried to tell my friends but for some reason they never get it or understand - and even my best friend told me that it might be of the devil i don't know and almost don't care whether it is or not anymore.

Oh well. I hope this works out for the best.