Kikanju
Author: Shitsuren [Kikanju@gaiaonline]
Title: His Problem
Category: Crack!
Author's Notes: Alcoholism is a bad thing, and raw tofu doesn't taste very good...
It was a wonderful, happy, sunny day. The koi were chattering and gossiping, Shikamaru's mom was eating raw tofu, and everything seemed ordinary.
Out of the Ramen shop strolled Naruto, anxious to escape his escalating tab.
He was just walking along when, lo and behold, he ran into Rock Lee! And he was singing "My, my Mizz American pie! Drove ma Chevy to the levy but the levy waz dryyy! Them good ol' boyz'z drinkin whiskey n' rye, singin thizzle be the day that I die! Thizzle be the day that I diiiieeee!"
"Ah, Lee-kun," the blonde tried amicably as he attempted at the gourd in his friend's hand. "This... needs to stop."
"He's right!" interrupted a super sexy, uber-manly voice.
"GAI SENSEI!!!"
*"Lee-kun,"* he began as the shoujo bubbles and glittery affects took way. *"This is really not the way..."*
*"Gai sensei..."* Lee started in response, dressed in a school girl outfit to go with his loose-sock leg warmers and Lolita-ly toting his gourd in front of him.
"Oh Gai sensei, I've disappointed you!"
*"Lee-kun..."*
*"Gai sensei..."* Lee pleaded as tears welled in both of their eyes.
"Guess there's nothing to do but drink away my pain n' shaaaaame~!"
While Lee was chugging grape-juice-flavored sake from his gourd, Naruto dressed up like Gai sensei to accompany him in the swirly dismal background scene. Yay!
But again, Lee-kun's senseless drinking was interrupted when a hand was placed on his shoulder. "Lee-kun."
He turned to see Kakashi-sensei!
"Lee-kun... You're really worrying everyone. Maybe you should stop..."
To which Lee replied "Unwanted touching is considered sexual harassment."
As Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei, and Naruto were bowing their heads with the squiggly darkness background- partially in shame and embarrassment, and partially to look at a dead squirrel- Gaara stepped in front of the camera, accompanied with a cloud-and-swirly-sun-themed background.
"Oh, Gaara-kun *hic* you gonna try'n take my happy juice, too?"
But instead, Gaara-kun pulled out a large Carp and cracked him over the face. "GETTA HOLD OF YOURSELF!!!"
Lee pressed his hand to his cheek as he looked teary-eyed up from the ground.
"Y...You hit me! My own father didn't even hit me! (Tetsuoooooo!!!!)"
"Oh, Lee... I didn't mean it... As a token of my apology, please accept this pineapple. It's very ripe, so eat it soon..."
"Oh, an AA card. Thank you, I've been meaning to quit."
Deciding they'd make an awesome Gama Ginyu Froce dressed in matching green jumpsuit jounin outfits, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei posed with Gai-sensei sexily to a sunburst.
"Kukuku...," laughed Neiji eeeevily.
"OH NO! Where's my Gourd of Happiness Juice?!" poor Lee-kun yelled, but there was only a pineapple and Gaara's red lace thong in his hands. "Quick Gaara! You must strip tease to compensate!!!"
But all Gaara could do was eat a block of swiss cheese, ignoring Lee-kun's cries, the Gama Ginyu's spicy compensation routine, and Neiji's new alcoholism.
Fin.
Title: His Problem
Category: Crack!
Author's Notes: Alcoholism is a bad thing, and raw tofu doesn't taste very good...
It was a wonderful, happy, sunny day. The koi were chattering and gossiping, Shikamaru's mom was eating raw tofu, and everything seemed ordinary.
Out of the Ramen shop strolled Naruto, anxious to escape his escalating tab.
He was just walking along when, lo and behold, he ran into Rock Lee! And he was singing "My, my Mizz American pie! Drove ma Chevy to the levy but the levy waz dryyy! Them good ol' boyz'z drinkin whiskey n' rye, singin thizzle be the day that I die! Thizzle be the day that I diiiieeee!"
"Ah, Lee-kun," the blonde tried amicably as he attempted at the gourd in his friend's hand. "This... needs to stop."
"He's right!" interrupted a super sexy, uber-manly voice.
"GAI SENSEI!!!"
*"Lee-kun,"* he began as the shoujo bubbles and glittery affects took way. *"This is really not the way..."*
*"Gai sensei..."* Lee started in response, dressed in a school girl outfit to go with his loose-sock leg warmers and Lolita-ly toting his gourd in front of him.
"Oh Gai sensei, I've disappointed you!"
*"Lee-kun..."*
*"Gai sensei..."* Lee pleaded as tears welled in both of their eyes.
"Guess there's nothing to do but drink away my pain n' shaaaaame~!"
While Lee was chugging grape-juice-flavored sake from his gourd, Naruto dressed up like Gai sensei to accompany him in the swirly dismal background scene. Yay!
But again, Lee-kun's senseless drinking was interrupted when a hand was placed on his shoulder. "Lee-kun."
He turned to see Kakashi-sensei!
"Lee-kun... You're really worrying everyone. Maybe you should stop..."
To which Lee replied "Unwanted touching is considered sexual harassment."
As Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei, and Naruto were bowing their heads with the squiggly darkness background- partially in shame and embarrassment, and partially to look at a dead squirrel- Gaara stepped in front of the camera, accompanied with a cloud-and-swirly-sun-themed background.
"Oh, Gaara-kun *hic* you gonna try'n take my happy juice, too?"
But instead, Gaara-kun pulled out a large Carp and cracked him over the face. "GETTA HOLD OF YOURSELF!!!"
Lee pressed his hand to his cheek as he looked teary-eyed up from the ground.
"Y...You hit me! My own father didn't even hit me! (Tetsuoooooo!!!!)"
"Oh, Lee... I didn't mean it... As a token of my apology, please accept this pineapple. It's very ripe, so eat it soon..."
"Oh, an AA card. Thank you, I've been meaning to quit."
Deciding they'd make an awesome Gama Ginyu Froce dressed in matching green jumpsuit jounin outfits, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei posed with Gai-sensei sexily to a sunburst.
"Kukuku...," laughed Neiji eeeevily.
"OH NO! Where's my Gourd of Happiness Juice?!" poor Lee-kun yelled, but there was only a pineapple and Gaara's red lace thong in his hands. "Quick Gaara! You must strip tease to compensate!!!"
But all Gaara could do was eat a block of swiss cheese, ignoring Lee-kun's cries, the Gama Ginyu's spicy compensation routine, and Neiji's new alcoholism.
Fin.
