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 Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 9:31 pm
ORBITAL NINJA DROP SITEImagine a meteroid shower, that you can neither see, nor hear. If you were perhaps, a highly-tuned electronic listening device, crafted by some advanced alien race, you would perhaps hear the snapping of a bird's neck, as it was killed flying through the air. Dead before it felt black gloved hands around it's feathery arteries. Impacting into Gaia's soft soil, suddenly, Ninjas. Hundreds of them. They swiftly formed up into a protective circle, abandoning the craters they had made, silently. Within the center of the circle, medium-sized tavern would land, raising a slight dust as every single ninja threw themselves underneath the building, cushioning it's fall. In the wooden wall outside, are large block letters reading: Ninja #483 -S A L O O N- For heterosexual cowboys and cowgirls of any nature. Out front is a place to park horses, spaceships, cars, sidekicks, and planar magic. The front door has a weapons check, done personally by the Juggernaut, once inside you could find any number of shady or delightful characters, behind the bar appears to be a sea captain. There is a nearly-broken piano being played at all times, in the liveliest manner by a blind man named "Specs". Sea Cap. C'mon in, traveler. Rest yer hinds n' have a drink.
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Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:40 am
And all of the sudden, Chuck Norris appeared in a flash of thunder. As soon as he took his first step, knockers started falling from the sky, a baby was thrown in a trash can, and some 14-year-old punk received a back-breaker, courtesy of Maddox.
Wielding two tank cannons, Chuck Norris roared his battle cry, which was so manly that it caused hairs to sprout from a hippie's eyeballs.
"I'm Chuck Norris, b***h!"
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Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 1:02 am
This thread must be what a bad acid trip feels like.
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Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 1:48 am
Inside the tavern, all the televisions were tuned to sporting events. Only, these sporting events were played by teams where every member was a 5th dan black belt in a dozen different styles of martial arts. There were soccer players flying through the air to shoot flaming passes, tennis players doing quadruple barrel rolls as they dived for the save, and, of course, the UFC.
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Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 11:40 am
And, of course, there were poop-throwing monkeys in the crowd of that sporting event. Players were pelted with smelly turds shaped like Elvis Presley's hair-do.
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Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 2:31 am
In the corner of the room, there were three drunks.
Drunk the first was making Vin Diesel jokes. "Vin Diesel once ate a pound of concrete, just so he could s**t bricks."
Drunk the second was making Chuck Norris jokes. "Chuck Norris parallel parks by getting out and performing a roundhouse kick."
Drunk the third was making Ertai Vexic jokes. "When Ertai bumps a thread, it becomes a sticky."
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 6:50 pm
It was a little late, but the other two drunks laughed at that last one. "Yarrr, I get it!"
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 3:48 am
*The doors of the saloon would swing open to allow a silver haired figure to stroll over to the bar.No weapons on his persons in the first place, he would pull up a stool and order a glass of rum.The man behind the counter was an interesting chap.Really though.*
"thanks...have a nice night captain"
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 5:40 am
As Chuck Norris heard the joke being made about himself, he pulled out the gun he had concealed in his massive amount of chest hair, and began to shoot the second drunk.
"I DO not parallel park with a roundhouse kick! I just smother the other guy with my eyeball hair!"
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Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 5:47 pm
A figure walks in to the building with no weapons on him. As he takes the first step time stops. He walked towards the bullets that was hanging in the air and picks each of them from where they where hanging and drops them slowly. Time moves again. "Hey Juggernaut. You missed someone." He noticed that the person who has the gun is Chuck Norris. "Odd. I thought you would round house kick him." Said the person. The figure was wearing a gray shirt, and blue jeans. He has black hair and brown eyes. No they were green. "Chuck why don't you cry? I heard your tears can cure cancer?" The figure asked.
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Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 10:17 pm
"His tears do cure cancer...but the kicker to that blessing is that he never crys..."
Chuckle.
"Or so i hear..."
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Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 7:11 pm
A slight, pale figure clad in black and wearing a silver rune necklace walks in, his unnaturally dark eyes taking in the scene before him...a large, angry man attempting to shoot a partron full of holes...only to have his bullets disappear and be replaced by a black-haired man wearing gray and blue.
Razen: Chronos magisters...
He shakes his head with a small smile on his normally expressionless face and steps up to the bar, leaving a stool between himself and the silver-haired one. He knocks on the bartop to get the barkeep's attention, apparently not noting the fact that the barkeep resembles a pirate captain.
Razen: Something without alcohol, please.
His hands move through a series of gestures conveying that meaning, but not a word leaves his lips. As he waits for acknowledgement, he glances around at all the televisions.
Razen: Technology...this world seems infested by it...
Though it still catches him off-guard whenever he sees technology and magic coexisting within the same world, he's beginning to grow used to it...very, very slowly.
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 2:56 am
Kuroiten A slight, pale figure clad in black and wearing a silver rune necklace walks in, his unnaturally dark eyes taking in the scene before him...a large, angry man attempting to shoot a partron full of holes...only to have his bullets disappear and be replaced by a black-haired man wearing gray and blue. Razen: Chronos magisters...He shakes his head with a small smile on his normally expressionless face and steps up to the bar, leaving a stool between himself and the silver-haired one. He knocks on the bartop to get the barkeep's attention, apparently not noting the fact that the barkeep resembles a pirate captain. Razen: Something without alcohol, please. His hands move through a series of gestures conveying that meaning, but not a word leaves his lips. As he waits for acknowledgement, he glances around at all the televisions. Razen: Technology...this world seems infested by it...Though it still catches him off-guard whenever he sees technology and magic coexisting within the same world, he's beginning to grow used to it...very, very slowly. One bar stool away the silver haired figure spoke.His tone rather low and polite.It was still strong and honest.Baybe even a blunt truth.Though probably not to this one.That odd essence and smell Ninig drew.It didn't so much chill.as it stirred the wrestless warrior.But this entity that sat nearby was built for battle. It could be sensed just by the way he had walked in here.
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:56 am
Suddenly, Voldo of Soul Calibur fame rolled in, ignoring the fact that with every full rotation of his body across the floor his crotch came into contact with it with a force comparable to Optimus Prime kicking you in the nuts.
It's believed he likes these moments; The sensation of testical to floor was the closest he ever got to china.
Voldo hissed, rapidly humping the air with vigor in his own little corner, soon after his dramatic entrance.
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 2:15 pm
turnipgod Kuroiten A slight, pale figure clad in black and wearing a silver rune necklace walks in, his unnaturally dark eyes taking in the scene before him...a large, angry man attempting to shoot a partron full of holes...only to have his bullets disappear and be replaced by a black-haired man wearing gray and blue. Razen: Chronos magisters...He shakes his head with a small smile on his normally expressionless face and steps up to the bar, leaving a stool between himself and the silver-haired one. He knocks on the bartop to get the barkeep's attention, apparently not noting the fact that the barkeep resembles a pirate captain. Razen: Something without alcohol, please. His hands move through a series of gestures conveying that meaning, but not a word leaves his lips. As he waits for acknowledgement, he glances around at all the televisions. Razen: Technology...this world seems infested by it...Though it still catches him off-guard whenever he sees technology and magic coexisting within the same world, he's beginning to grow used to it...very, very slowly. One bar stool away the silver haired figure spoke.His tone rather low and polite.It was still strong and honest.Baybe even a blunt truth.Though probably not to this one.That odd essence and smell Ninig drew.It didn't so much chill.as it stirred the wrestless warrior.But this entity that sat nearby was built for battle. It could be sensed just by the way he had walked in here. ((The italics are thoughts...but I kinda figure you already know that)) The entity next to the entity built for battle was anything but. What stirred a restless warrior would merely bother him with mental images of berserker rages he knew he was not physically capable of. Regardless, Razen turns to face the stranger. His inquisitive look conveys more than his gestures could in this instance. Though his gestures are used to convey his thoughts on the topic. Razen: Humanity...we do try to cure what wounds we've made. Though this is probably a manifestation of unhealthy combinations of technology and magic.When in doubt, fall back on your old biases.
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