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 Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:42 pm
I have a problem.
My new husband and I both have children from previous relationships. Little girls, both now 4 years old. So it's almost like having twins in the house, as they are only one month apart in age. I have sole custody of "my" daughter, and we have been living togather as a family for 2 years now.
My husband does not have custody of his daughter. He's been a "week-end dad" to her since she was about 6 months old. Which has been hard on us for the time that we have been together, especially since her mother has been keeping her away from us every chance that she could get. There is alot of tension between her and me, and she didn't/doesn't want me to be part of her childs life.
No paperwork had ever been drawen up over custody of Kayla, "his" daughter. All they have is a birth cert with both of their names on it. Really stupid, but I'm not going to go there right now. What the real point now is that his ex is no longer takeing care of her children, and left them all with her soon-to-be-ex husband, Kayla's step-father to live.
We have finally been able to get Kayla, and are expecting (and going to court to optain) full custody of her. But now we have to "fix" everything that she has now ingrained into her system; not using her utensils to eat, breaking toys, picking fights, etc. But the one that I'm having the most trouble with right now is potty training.
Kayla has been given a rutene (sp?). When you tell her to go potty, she goes in and gets her own pull-up, goes into the bathroom, sits on the potty for a few mintues, and then changes her own pull-up before washing her hands and coming back out. And I will have to admit, it's something. The problem lies in the fct that she doesn't use the potty but will wait until she has her pull-ups back on before going either #1 or #2.
She doesn't seem to care if she is sitting in it for a while. If you praise her when she actually goes potty on the toliet she ignores you. If you tell her it's bad, she cries, and just goes on with life, continuing to do it again and again. I've tried talking to her, bu she... she just knows the "answers" and spoots them out, then goes on as before. "Do you want to be a big girl?" "yes." "So where do big girls go potty?" "In the toliet." "Are you going to be a big girl and go potty in the toliet?" "Yes".
It happens every time. She just won't go. You take her to sit, and she'll sit on the toliet for 20 mintues with nothing, only to we her pants in the next 5. I know that I'm supposed to let her train at her own speed and everything, but she is 4, and school is right around the corner for her. I have a year. But my other daughter, who is fully potty trained, is starting to regess. Having accidents that she never used o have and such like.
I've tried everything. I'm at my wits end. Is there any advice you guys can give me. I'm desperate.
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 5:03 pm
All of the sudden things seem to be falling into place. Kayla is potty training. And while we still have problems with #2, I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Just in time for her other mom to 'want her back'. Doesn't that just make sense?
rolleyes
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Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 5:07 pm
I'm sorry to hear about your potty training difficulties! I have no kids of my own so I have no advice to offer, but I wish you the best of luck in this.
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:23 pm
Thanks! Any support is always wlcome.
As it is, Kayla is actually starting to go on her own now, when she's not too busy playing that is. *shrugs* But she's working on that too. It's just taking some time to get her out of the conditioned state of not caring. but she really does seem to want to be a 'big kid'. Which I am very grateful for. On o the next task. Table manners! Wish me luck!!
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:54 pm
I do wish you luck. That's an awful lot for her, your spouse, your child, and yourself to deal with. I hope things can get settled for you very soon. The strength you need is in you, not to worry. 3nodding I'm glad Kayla has begun to grasp what it means to not only respect herself but you as well.
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