Welcome to Gaia! ::

Introduction



Okay. First of all? Don�t talk to me like I�m the b***h you come home and smack around, because I will not take that kind of s**t. So unless you want my foot so far up your a** that you can taste the toes, I suggest you settle down. Because I. am. freaking out! You know, on the baby-sitting add, you forgot to mention I�d be taking care of Hell spawn. I shouldn�t even be in this mess, but no one hires for assassinations anymore and I have over twenty mouths of my own to feed at home. So here I am, cleaning up after your brats while you�re off lah-di-dahing and your friend up there has been there for hours. I don�t think she�s comin� down anytime soon; she probably cracked her skull and drowned. At least, she better have, because I�ve been yelling for that b***h since this whole ordeal began. You wanna know what happened, huh?

Well, it all began when I brought out the movies. Kids love movies. At least, mine do. I thought it�d shut �em up quick and I wouldn�t have to do anything. In and out job- I get my money after Catzi gets out of the shower and we�re done, right? Wrong.

How was I supposed to know none of those kids could stomach a thriller? And besides, it�s not an all that scary movie anyway. It was the Ring, okay? The first one- that sequel was more of a cry for money than it was a horror flick. Anyways. I turned that on and raided your fridge while they were busy. The applesauce was originally mine, because it was the only thing I could recognize as food in that place. An apple a day, you know, and all that s**t? I took the whole jar with me along with a spoon -that should be around here somewhere- because I didn�t feel like searching for a clean dish. You wanted honest answers, didnt you?

Well, it was all going swell for a while. The kids were asorbed, and I was free to take over the couch because they were sitting so close to the TV. Then that scene came along; the one where that little drowned girl crawls out of the well and begins walking for the screen. Those kids freaked! At first it was hillarious, but then they started climbing all over me! One of them must have kicked the jar of applesauce on their way up, because the next thing I know there�s the sound of breaking glass over the television.

Yeah. Needless to say, it was not a happy time for me and I may have tossed a few of them off in my surprise- bad experience with dog-piles, you see. They must have peed themselves sometime between the time they were sailing over four feet of air and hitting the floor, because I don't think there's anything damp on my jeans. The drapes? There was some little pyro lighting those up when I came in and lit the end of my tail on fire, too. You�re lucky I kicked it out or you wouldn�t have scorched drapes- you�d have no drapes and no house! You're also lucky I didn't maul that kid.

....You know, I�m sorry. Sorry I snapped at you the first time you came in, but I�m really stressed out. I shouldn�t be working while I�m PMSing, but it�s not really like I have a choice, either. Most of the things I have running around the house are animals, and they aren�t getting a job anytime soon. I have two grown men, too, but they're dead-beats and incapable of going out in the daylight due to recent events. The only thing they're really good for is teaching the kids the language of the Nazis and playing instruments. Oh. And the skinny one can shake his a**, but so what? He's not even using that to help with the bills.

As for that girl... What�d you say her name was? Naia? She must have gotten a foot to the face in the fray. Damn, she really is bleeding, huh? C�mere, kid. Naia. Yeah, I think I�ve got something for that nose in my car. I'm kind of making a pharmacy in my glove-box for my general upkeep. Until then, take these napkins I got from Burger King and keep your head up. Thata girl. I wish my pups could be as quiet as you and suck it up like that.

And you... this isn't coming out of my pay, is it?

Updates

October 4/06- Journal update so Naia doesn't get her head on a pike @_@;;
Sept 30/06- Naia hits pre-teen!
June 21/06- Front page is all filled in
June 20/06- Journal front page is labeled