Welcome to Gaia! ::

I came across a G&L Bible article on manners that many of you might have seen. One thing in particular felt awkward to me: bowing. Now, I understand that it's the standard and that women bow differently, but I nevertheless view it as a masculine thing to do.

I curtsey, and have practiced it for several reasons, the biggest one being that I mostly wear dresses that cover my ankles = look bad as I bow. Sometimes I do the little-girl-ish bent of knees, but to be formal (aristocratic! biggrin ) I use the "court curtsey" as my mother calls is, moving my other foot back a bit with the knee bent and bowing my upper body slightly.

Also, I try to research on my local manners rather than borrowing from the Japanese and blend the Victorian influence in. My region and language for example have nice oddities such as Swedish words and ways to adress people (Jack Smith becomes Smith's Jack, "teitittely" which is basicly a more polite form of speaking to someone).
I simply don't want to stop being a Finnish girl even if I wear dresses and victorian blouses - after all, it's not roleplay for me, but a way I like to dress in.

Your thoughts on all this? What kind of manners do you use? Have you considered the locality vs. Japanese/Victorian thing at all? Do you bow or curtsey?

Kitsu ish curious~ :3

I stickied it for you, atleast till NV tells me she doesn't want it to be.

I never dress up lolita because I can't afford it, and also I lived in a town with extremly close minds and big mouths. Acually, I could afford them but don't feel comfortable buying something I won't wear. Maybe for the Halloween dance.

I think it is acceptable to curtesy instead of bowing. Bowing seems really japenese traditional, and if you bowed to someone on the street they wouldn't know what you are doing (9 times out of 10.) I just normally nod, smile or give the peace symbol, but I am not lolita, just an artist interested in it.

Unless you're really formal of course - the thing that really disturbs me is to see women make full bows. A head-nod is fine for any gender, but if it's more than a nod.. Then, if you arn't Japanese, you mostly end up looking awkward. Especially in a short dress. sweatdrop

It's of course just my personal opinion, but I do prefer it when adult women curtsey, too. My mind tends to connect bows to the general not-so-feminine feats women pull out today, like sitting their thighs separated, smoke, drink excessively, curse, and general "rawr I'm a free-minded feminist, I can do anything I think men do!". *shiver* But I'm apparently on a wrong century. *sigh*

And... Since lolis are supposed to look like little girls/porcelain dolls, it would seem even more proper to use "little girl-ish" mannerism like curtseys.

And most importantly - when in Rome, do like Romans do? I doupt this community has too many Japanese people. sweatdrop

I'm not being rude or nasty but lets keep in mind this is a Lolita guild...and i'm starting to find too many members that don't wear the clothing...it's an important aspect of this guild.
I understand where you are comming from though, i find it hard to wear some days because of the comments, but i still buy it and wear it when i can.

Sorry, i'm not trying to be rude, i'm just letting you know...

Finnish manners for me too. I'm polite, but not overly. Curtsey is something that looks nice if you are five years old, but I'm almost 20 and an university student... I shake hands if I meet someone new, I don't try to behave any differently even if I dress a little odd. I don't swear or yell in public, and I usually act reserved anyway (like most Finns razz ), so I think my behaviour is "lolita enough".

G&L bible articles are most of the time written tongue-in-cheek, they are not serious.

I often find myself doing the cute little Japanese bow/nod, both in and out of lolita. :3

I like being polite and doing that. I don't care if it's awkward because I'm not Japanese- I like doing it and it's already become a habit. XD