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Are You Exited?
You Bet!
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w00t!
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Total Votes : 27


SugarBeat_Angel
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 7:51 pm
A Very Gaia Fanfic!

Before anybody BITCHWHINEMOANS about this being here...
Koukon said I could have this here.
It is a Gaia Fanfic.
It is based around Gino and Sugar (My Chari.)

HOWEVER...
This Guild has a very large role in the mid part of the story...
Which is where the Ok to post it here came from.

For the first time in a long time:
This will not be a structured thread...
I will post chapters and leave space for people to comment...
I will not lock this...
People will be commenting in between chapters as I complete each one.
However...
There are still rules...

Most important
- Do not ask to be in the Fanfic. You all are since the guild is. If you don't get a line, tough... If I do not personally know you on Gaia, then you will not be mentioned in the Fanfic, because it is Gaia based. I don't know you on Gaia, I don't know you in the Fanfic. Plain and simple...

- Don't like something? Tough... Deal with it... It is my Fanfic. My mind set. My way. Get it? Got it? Good...

- Don't pick out little problems with the story line... However feel free to pick out spelling and gramatical errors I may have missed...

-Don't quote the Chapters, I will kill you... Little pieces and parts are fine, but not big chunks...


Currently: In Hiatus Mode
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 8:25 pm
Chapter 1: Meeting

Gino sat quietly on the front steps of his father's obscenely large mansion. He rested his head in his hands and leaned his elbows on his knees for support. He hadn't slept in days. He didn't know if it was due to guilt, or due to his father's harsh words, but he was restless and hadn't been able to sleep a wink. Nor had he been able to eat. He was so sick of himself... He was a complete failure and an embarrassment to the Gambino family name.
"If I would have just... Listened to Father completely... If I would have just... Ran FASTER... I coulda..." He thought to himself. "No... Moira deserved to win... She won the race fair and square. It's my fault I didn't win... I..."
"Damn it! I told you there's no way I'm paying that much for a pair of shoes! You cheep son of a... Errg! I could buy them in Durem for less! Why do people insist on charging more for items than they're worth!? I swear... One of these days... Errg..."
"What the..." Gino stood up and looked through the bustling crowd of people to see a young woman with short black hair scowling angrily at a man in the Marketplace. He didn't know why, but he was instantly amused by her fury. "What a jerk..." Slowly, he began to approach the two, a handful of gold in his grip. He slapped the gold down on the counter and looked at the man.
"Is that enough you greedy pig? Or do I need to go get more?" Gino stared hard at the man, unblinking and grumbled under his breath. One thing he hated was for people to rip off others. He stood back from the man and glanced at the girl, a slight smirk leaking onto his face. "There is over three thousand gold there. Take it or leave it."
The man pocketed the gold and handed the pair of shoes to the girl, never taking his eyes off Gino. "You... You little brat... You're the Gambino kid... The one that lost that race! What a fine job your daddy did raising you... You think your money is supposed to inspire fear in me? You little wimp! Grow some balls and handle things like a real man next time... Ehh heh heh heh..."
The next thing Gino heard was the familiar sound of fist hitting flesh, and out of habit he cringed. But when he reopened his eyes, he saw the man sprawled out on the ground... Out like a light. His eyes darted over to the girl who happened to be retracting her fist that very moment. He stared in almost disbelief at the tiny thing that had just laid that man out flat, and he knew by her disgruntled expression and angry stare that it was best not to say, 'Nice hit.'
"You big jerk! Why did you have to go and do a thing like that for!?" The girl yelled angrily at Gino and puffed out her chest, face flaring red with anger. Her fury gleamed in her eyes.
Gino jumped back and looked at her. "What do you mean me!? I didn't knock the guy out! You did!"
"Not that dummy! I mean why did you have to embarrass me like that! I'm not poor! I was heckling! Now I'm in the hole about one thousand gold because you had to go and interrupt my heckling!"
"How are you in the hole? If anything, you're rich a pair of shoes and it didn't cost you anything..." Gino eased up a bit, trying to reason with the clearly prideful young girl. He didn't know why she was so angry...
"Well you don't think that I'm just going to go home without paying you back... Do you? You're wrong if you thought that... I intend to..."
"Look, Miss... I'm Gino Gambino... Three thousand gold is just chump change to me. Really... You don't owe me a dime." He forced a smile and tried to reach out to touch her shoulder reassuringly, but she jerked away from him.
"I don't care who you are! You spoiled rotten little rich kid! You think just because you are Johnny K. Gambino's son that you can get away with humiliating a person!?" She stared at him angrily.
"No! Miss... The last thing I would ever want to do is humiliate a person... Because I..." Gino stopped mid sentence and looked away. He didn't want to finish. He knew every Gaian had seen him lose that race. Everybody had heard what his father had said. THAT was humiliating. He never wanted to make a person feel like he felt.
"You know how it feels..." The girl looked to the side, feeling rather sheepish. "I... Uh... I didn't go to the Olympics. But I heard... About what happened. Please forgive me Mr. Gambino..." The girl took a bow and dug into her purse pulling out three thousand gold. She handed it to Gino and turned to walk away.
"Wait!" Gino graced his hand across her shoulder in an attempt to pull her back. "You gave me far too much..." His words began to stammer out as she turned around to face him. She had actually given him a little less than what he paid. So how would he explain it? Finally he was able to blurt out. "How about you join me for lunch inside and we sort this out?" His stomach let out a little gurgle at the mention of lunch and he blushed slightly. "Please?"
The girl stood back from him and looked him over. Then deciding it was alright, she nodded hesitantly and forced a smile. "Ok... I've got nothing else better to do. I suppose I could come in for a minute or two..." She turned toward the mansion but paused looking back at him. "By the way... My name is Sugar..."
She followed him back to the mansion and inside of the main corridor. The mansion was large and extravagant. She had never been inside it before, not even at the parties, and she looked around in awe. It was all very tantalizing to her senses.
Gino forced back a faint smile growing on his face. He was pleased that the size and beauty of the mansion had made such an impression on her. He gently took her hand and led her into the dinning room. He pulled back a chair for her and waited for her to sit. He took the seat beside her and smiled softly. "What would you like for lunch? I can have the chef fix you anything you would like. Pastas? Pizzas?"
"Oh no... I really can't. It's far too much trouble Mr. Gambino. I couldn't. I am fine, thank you." Sugar forced a smile as she shook her head. She didn't want to be a burden to anybody.
"Perhaps something simple then? Sandwiches perhaps? I invited you in for lunch. What good of a host would I be if I didn't come through on my end of the bargain?" Gino stood up and walked to the kitchen. He asked of the chef to prepare two gourmet sandwiches and serve them speedily with two glasses of club soda, then returned to his spot by Sugar. "I hope you like your sandwich with the works Miss Sugar..."
"You didn't have to go through all this trouble Mr. Gambino... But thank you. I'll eat anything. This is very kind of you. I appreciate it. Please forgive me for my words earlier." She looked down and fiddled with her fingers feeling guilty for her cruelty.
"It's quite alright. This is the least I could do after I humiliated you. Please understand that it wasn't my intention and anything I can do to make up for it... I will gladly do." He smiled at her kindly and she returned it with a nod... And then silence.
Gino sat the three thousand gold on the table and sighed. "You must understand Miss Sugar... I can not accept this. Can't we just... PRETEND you bought the shoes? There is no more humiliation... The same people who saw me buy these shoes are the same ones that saw you pay me back... So it is even, right?"
"Wrong! Because I'll know that you didn't let me pay you back. And then it will eat at me until I do." Sugar fiddled with her fingers and sighed. "Please Mr. Gambino..."
"Miss Sugar. I refuse to accept this gold. It is not in my nature to accept things from others. Consider it a gift from a stranger... A stranger I hope you will soon consider a friend." Gino smiled warmly at her and took the gold in his hand. He took her own hand and placed the gold inside, closing her fingers around it. "Please Miss Sugar?" He looked at her kindly with his big bright eyes and a smile on his face. It was almost conceited, but he knew nobody could resist his charming smile and sparkling eyes. It was perhaps the only trait he could possibly think of that attracted his mother to his father. "Please..."
Sugar felt as if her heart was melting, and she knew, he knew it. She found it hard to deny him his request, and she knew, he knew that as well. Yet no matter how hard she tried to fight it, she could not tell him no. So she gave in... Weak in the knees over one little smile and she was his 'Yes Man.' "A-alright... You win..." She looked down as she put the gold in her purse. She was angry at herself. Who cared if the boy had a smile bright enough to light up a room? Who cared if his eyes sparkled like they were filled with stars? Who cared that she was now complete putty in his hands? She certainly didn't... Nor did she care that the chef had shoved a tray in her face, complete with sandwich and club soda.
"Miss Sugar?" Gino tapped her shoulder lightly and flashed his pearly whites once again. "Our lunch is ready... Miss Sugar..." He smiled to himself and sighed happily. He was glad she had given in. He would have felt horrible if she had refused.

It was cold outside, even for the end of summer time. The wind carried a mist up from the ocean that freckled its way across Sugar's face. She let out a tiny whimper of disapproval and shuddered.
"Are you cold?" Gino asked worriedly as they walked past the few people still out. The sun was setting slowly and it was getting colder out. He removed the coat he had grabbed and draped it over her shoulders, smiling warmly.
"Not anymore..." Sugar returned his smile and looked out at the setting sun in the distance. It was a beautiful sight. She let out a sigh and continued walking on ahead.
"How far do you live?" Gino inquired curiously. He too was gazing at the sun as they left the Isle. The bright red jewel in the sky was far too beautiful not to look at, for at least a second. "Like Sugar..." He muttered out loud. Realizing his mistake at speaking his thoughts, he stumbled through his brain trying to fix the situation. Regaining his composure he sputtered out, "Do you like, totally live in Barton, or Durem?"
Sugar chuckled a bit to herself at the way his words came out, and assumed he was just joking around. "Like Gino, I like, totally live in like, Barton Town... Totally!" She smiled at him and poked him playfully. "To the Max!"
Gino laughed nervously and secretly hit himself. "Idiot! You gotta watch what you say!" He thought to himself.
By the time they passed Bass'ken Lake, the sun was completely out of sight, and very little light remained in the sky. Sugar began to worry about Gino. "Gino, how will you get home? It'll be really dark. You can't just walk..."
"Oh, I'll be fine Miss Sugar. I can go talk to Ian and see if he's going to visit Ruby. If he is, he and I will go together. I'll be ok." Gino smiled and ran his fingers over her hand. He felt her twitch when he did so and saw her face become flush. "I am glad we got to meet, Miss Sugar..."
He walked her up to her door step and sighed heavily. He didn't want to leave her so soon. He felt like he had known her all his life. Like they were close friends from long back. But he knew he really couldn't stay any longer. He knew that if his father returned from Durem early, he would be in quite a mess. But luckily they had not run into him on the way to Barton Town, and he would probably make it back before Gambino even left for home from Durem...
Gino reached out and grabbed Sugar's hand slowly. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it gently, seeing the flush tint of her cheeks come to rise. He smiled at her warmly and whispered, "Good night Miss Sugar..."
Sugar nodded only. She was unable to utter more than a few syllables. She knew he was just being kind... That he was just doing his duty as the son of Gaia's most powerful and influential man. And she knew she shouldn't get her hopes up that she would ever see him again. But it would be a day to remember always. Somehow she didn't think she could ever forget it. She ran into her house and plopped onto her bed where her art pad lay. Slowly she began to sketch the face of the boy she just might love.

Gino hurried home, not even stopping to ask if Ian was going his direction. So he had lied, but it was only to comfort her. Finally docked, he set foot on the Isle De Gambino. The air was less chilly than in Barton Town, but still cold none the less. This winter was due to be a cold one... He walked past Sasha's shop, and she was just closing up now. She stopped him and smiled.
"Hey Gino! How is everything!? It's like way cold out here. Shouldn't you like, be at home? Mr. Gambino didn't kick you out again, did he?" She smiled warmly, her second place metal still dangling about her neck. Gino guessed she never took it off.
"Hey Sasha..." He said quietly. "I was just walking a friend home... And now I'm on my way home myself. And no he didn't kick me out..." He looked to the ground and tried to pass by but Sasha stood in his way, her metal gleaming in the dim light.
"A friend! Like, really!? What is her name!? And like, don't tell me it isn't a girl cause boys don't walk boys home! So like, who is she? Is she like, your new girlfriend!? You have to tell me all!" She reached out and hugged him. "Oh Gino! I'm like, so happy for you!"
Gino backed up and pulled away from Sasha. "I can't really stay and chat Sasha, I'm sorry. She's just a girl I met. We got to know each other a little bit and now we're friends. I really have to go..." Gino ran to the mansion, tears burning at his eyes. It was bad enough that he lost the Olympics, but there was still evidence of it everywhere. He couldn't get away. And everybody mocked him. Everybody but Sugar...
Gino swooped in the door and closed it hard behind him. He leaned upon it and slid down until he hit the floor. He sat curled into the fetal position and began to weep. "Why, why, why!? Why couldn't I just obey my..."
"GINO!" The booming voice echoed through the mansion and into Gino's head. His heart sank into his stomach as he realized who it was.
"F-father..." Gino stood slowly and wiped his eyes. He was not allowed to cry. Slowly he made his way through the front corridor and into the main hall. There stood his father, the most powerful man in Gaia. The stern look on his face told Gino he was in more trouble than he could ever imagine.
"What is this?" Gambino held up what appeared to be nothing else but thin air from where Gino stood. But as he inched closer he realized what it was. It was a strand of short black hair.
Gino cringed and stated, "I-it appears to be a strand of hair, father..." He looked at the floor and at his feet. He dare not make eye contact now.
"A BLACK hair... Gino my son, tell me... We have thirty servants. Sixteen of them are blonde. Twelve of them are brunettes. Two remain... Do they have black hair?"
"N-no sir... They have grey hair." Gino closed his eyes and fought back tears. He knew this was only the beginning of his troubles.
"No? So this must belong to some person other than our servants. It wasn't Moira or that Josie woman. The hair is far too short. No, this was another person entirely. What is her name?" Gambino asked in a nonchalant tone.
"H-her name? Her name is Sugar... Father." Gino stood waiting for a blow of some kind, but none came. As much as he figured, his father wanted to question him further. "Please forgive me father. I know that I am not allowed to have company over, especially when you are not around. But you see, she was in trouble, and I helped her. I couldn't just send her on her way... I invited her for lunch and then I walked her home and that is all that happened... I swear it's the truth..." Gino cringed, once again waiting for a blow that would not come. So he stood silent...
"Ah, so it WAS a girl... I figured as much... She has beautiful hair..." Gambino walked toward his son and shoved the hair in his face. "I want to meet the one to whom this hair belongs. Shall it be some time in mid September? I'm booked until next week but I believe I can squeeze a dinner in on the fourteenth. I expect to see her there, so arrange it." He let the hair fall from his fingers and drift to Gino's feet. Then he exited the room without a further word.
Gino felt faint. He was so certain his father would punish him. Rather, he only wanted to meet Sugar. Gino sighed with relief and picked up the strand of hair, carrying it with him to his room. For the first time, in a long time, Gino got a good night sleep.
 

SugarBeat_Angel
Vice Captain


Seishin-chan
Crew

PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 9:21 pm
eek You... must... write... more! I want to know what happens altogether (got a glimpse already and I loves it so much!). I'm too drugged up on medicine right now to be able to seriously look at grammatical things and the likes, but it looks good so far. Keep it up! blaugh  
PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 6:15 am
Seishin-chan
eek You... must... write... more!


Agreed 3nodding

It looks great, I did not spot any errors 3nodding
 

iabiel
Captain

Questionable Cat


SugarBeat_Angel
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 7:35 am
Chapter 2: Getting to Know You...

Sugar stood up on stage along side four other young women. All five girls were belting outrageous notes and the audience was screaming in pandemonium. It was what Sugar had called Open Guild Night. A night that any guild could open its doors to non-members and let all of Gaia know what they were about. This guild seemed to be about fun... At least, that was what Gino noted. Sugar stood beside a girl Gino had come to know as Koukon, and both were singing their hearts out. The anthem to their guild, Pockyism... Both girls finished the number with their heart pounding voices.

"Waracchau yo na omoide! Minna de tsukureba saikou saikou! Toku ni himitsu janai kedo, Pocky tou wa hosonagai. Kaisha no danshi joshi! Gakkou chuu no everybody! Ganbacchai mashou! Furimui chou hodo. Suteki na mina-san! Yossha! We are Pocky Girls!" Both Sugar and Koukon laughed as they sang together happily. The song came to its end and all of the Pocky Girls took a bow. A roaring cheer came from the crowd, Gino himself included. He was very impressed. Not since his early childhood had he heard such beautiful voices.
He waited until all the people cleared out before he made his presence known. Once all the guests left, he slinked out of the corner and pounced Sugar from behind, startling her half to death. She turned around and embraced him, knocking him on the head with her broom.
"You nearly gave me a heart attack! I didn't think you would be able to come! I'm so glad you could make it!" She hugged him tightly and giggled happily but stopped and scowled. "You lied to me..."
"I had to! If you knew I'd be here watching, you would have been nervous and wouldn't have sang as well. You said so yourself...." He said with a smile, rubbing his head after being hit with the broom. "However, you were all fantastic. If I could convince my father to let me out of the house more, I'd certainly join this guild... Just because of you lovely ladies performance."
Koukon smiled and nudged him. "Now you're just trying to flatter us... Mr. big shot celebrity..." She continued with her sweeping and laughed.
"Yeah, and since when did you mind a little flattery Koukon?" Kai Shi shot back playfully, sticking out her tongue.
"When did any of the Pocky Girls mind a little or even a lot of flattery, for that matter?" Melly giggled out.
"As far as I'm concerned," Seishin laughed, "If the son of the most powerful man in Gaia wants to shower us with praise, I say we let him do it. It makes me feel better!"
Gino smiled and laughed heartily. He was among friends. He noticed a man he came to know as Zetan sitting in the corner hiding, so he released Sugar from his arms and walked over to see what he was doing. "Are you ok?"
"Shh!!! I'll give you a stick of Pocky to just walk away right now..." Zetan hissed out of the darkness. Gino looked at him confusedly and backed away slowly. Then a young woman named Maggie stormed up and grabbed Zetan by the ear, dragging him out of the darkness and bringing tons of Pocky boxes with him.
"Pocky hoarder! Give me those!" Maggie growled under her breath, ready to wrestle with Zetan if need be.
"NEVA! Bring it on!" And to the floor they went. The bighting, clawing, and hair pulling... It was so brutal... He had to look away.
Gino backed away even further and over to where Koukon stood. He looked at her worried. "Are they always like this?"
Koukon looked over at the two in the corner and laughed to herself. She looked at Gino and smiled. "Only when they're together..."
Gino's left eye twitched as he watched the epic battle unfold. Maggie emerging triumphant. "Are they uh... Ever apart?"
Koukon smiled and tilted her head to the side, leaning upon her broom. "Never..." She resumed her sweeping, as did all the others, none paying attention to the clearly injured Zetan in the corner of the room.
Gino finished the cleaning duties with them, not sure what to think. They were certainly an odd group, but they were Sugar's friends. And they were his friends. They were good people.

"Sugar, my father would like to meet you. I was hoping that you'd be free on the fourteenth... If you're not, I'm sure he won't mind. You don't have to meet him at all if you are uncomfortable... But he wanted me to invite you to dinner..." Gino smiled nervously. He wasn't sure what she would say, and if she refused to come, it might mean trouble for him. He looked at her pleadingly with puppy dog eyes.
"Are you kidding!? I would love to meet your father! It would be such an honor!" Sugar gasped. "I'll have to buy a dress... I'll have to wear a dress! I'll have to..."
Gino pressed his finger to her lips. "Calm yourself..." He whispered. "I'm sure whatever you wear will be lovely and completely acceptable. My father is not going to judge you upon your appearance. And even if he did, he can't stop us from being friends. Right? So just be calm about it. If you overreact it will just make things worse." He hugged her. "But if it will make you feel better, I can go shopping for a dress with you."
Sugar smiled excited. "Ok! That works too. I really want to impress your father. I know he is a hard man to get along with. Which is mostly why I never attended any of the parties at your house. But if things go well... Who knows? I might come around more often..."

Sugar walked up to the mansion and swallowed hard in her throat. She looked back at Zetan who had given her a ride on his way to the Casino. "You'll do fine!" Zetan's words echoed in her mind. Fine... As in not bad, but not good either... She stepped up slowly and rang the door bell. Her whole body was shaking, half from the cold and half from the nervousness she felt deep inside. She was thinking she had just enough time to turn and run when the door opened. Before her stood an elderly man in a suit and tie. She almost muttered 'Mr. Gambino?' but she knew that would be a mistake. So she kept her mouth shut.
"Ah, you must be Miss Sugar. The Young Master is expecting you, and the Lord will be joining you both shortly. Right this way please..." The elderly man looked very frail, like he would fall over at the slightest breeze. He led Sugar to a completely different dinning room than the one she had been at previously. When she entered, she saw that Gino stood at the edge of the table waiting for her.
"Sugar... You look..." A goofy smile came over Gino's face as he looked Sugar over. She looked especially beautiful. He met her half way and kneeled, taking her hand and kissing it gently. "You look... You are... Exquisite." He stood and led her over to where they would be sitting, and briefed her on the routine that would follow. She was to bow when Gambino entered the room, stand until he himself sat, not speak unless spoken to, and a hundred other things that though superfluous, seemed oh so vital. And finally the moment came...
The doors parted, and had there been trumpets, they would have blasted. Gambino strode in, mighty and intimidating like Sugar imagined. He was a very large man indeed and he looked like he could crush her with one finger.
Through her fear and timid feelings, Sugar managed to smile and bow before the mighty Gambino. She sensed him stop short of her and grunt, the air from his colossal lungs flowing out into the area. The warmth and massive force was enough to knock the butler over, she thought, but it certainly sent chills up and down her spine. And then she felt his hand on her shoulder...
"Well let me get a look at you, don't hide your face." He raised her chin and straightened her body in one swift pull of the shoulder and nudge of the chin, which seemed to Sugar like being torn apart by Godzilla. He looked hard upon her face and frowned once or twice. Finally he asked, "Why haven't I seen you at any of my parties? I'd recognize a pretty face like this... And seeing as I don't recognize you, I can only know you've never been here in my presence. Been busy? Well so have I! I've been perfecting the ideal scientific procedures that just may revolutionize the way Gaians live their lives! Why don't you come back some time and I'll show you how these things work? But in the meaning time, let's dispense with the formalities, eh? Never mind anything my son has told you! Call me dad! Speak when you want! Do whatever, after all, I invited you! Ho ho ho! Now let's get to dinner!" Gambino strode past and ruffled her hair, taking his seat at the table. He clapped his hand and in came servants with trays piled to the ceiling.

Gino walked Sugar to her door and smiled happily. "I think things went very well with my father. I've never seen him that open and cheery before. I think he really likes you... And that is good because I didn't think my father liked anybody... Not even me." Gino wrapped his arms around Sugar and held her close, but gently. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me... You know that? Because if you didn't know you should... I don't know what I'd do with out a friend like you... I know it sounds cheesy but..." Gino closed his eyes and fought back tears. Maybe his life was finally making that one-eighty he had been waiting for. Maybe things would start to perk up... He looked at Sugar. He wanted to kiss her. She was so beautiful, and in the moonlight, her eyes sparkled like diamonds. He felt her rest her head on his shoulder and he sighed contentedly. "Whatcha thinking about?"
Sugar sighed as well and closed her eyes. "Just about what you said. I'm glad I could make your life better. I'm glad I could do so much for you by doing so little... And I'm glad your father likes me..." Sugar looked up at Gino, eyes half opened. She knew he would have to leave but she didn't want him to go. His eyes met with hers and she could feel his longing. She took a deep breath. "Gino, if you want to kiss me, just do it..."
Gino pulled back a little, startled by the blunt request. But the feeling quickly subsided and all he felt was the need to taste her mouth. He moved in slowly, unsure of his own abilities. He had never kissed a person... Not the way he was wanting to. But his uncertainty soon fled, chased away by his desire. He inched closer, his lips so close to hers that he could feel their warmth. Her eyes fluttered shut and his soon followed suit, bracing for the moment their mouths would meet in such a tender show of...

 
PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 8:40 am
Eee. Sugar!!!! Don't taunt us like that! Finish it!!!!! *clings and waves pocky in your face* I'll give you a box of my pocky if you do. ^^;

That was awesome! Almost makes me want to write ninja  

MellyBean
Crew


Kai Shi
Crew

7,850 Points
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 2:35 pm
*claps* Excellent Sugar! It's very well written 3nodding And I couldn't spot any mistakes.  
PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:05 pm
MellyBean
Eee. Sugar!!!! Don't taunt us like that! Finish it!!!!! *clings and waves pocky in your face* I'll give you a box of my pocky if you do. ^^;

That was awesome! Almost makes me want to write ninja


xd BWA HA HA! I am teh ebil... twisted *ebil grin*

Actually, I thought that was a good place to end the chapter... And I'm not quite finished with the next one yet. But I might be by tomorrow some time... Ya never know...

ninja

Or I could torment you for another day... Which sounds good.  

SugarBeat_Angel
Vice Captain


Seishin-chan
Crew

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:15 pm
Brilliant! You're evil, but brilliantly evil. From a writer's point of view: great place to stop this segment! Excellent work, no spelling mistakes at all (only a few misplaced commas). From a reader's point of view: you're a great writer xd heart ... and you're evil stare ...  
PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:16 pm
4laugh  

SugarBeat_Angel
Vice Captain


SugarBeat_Angel
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:19 pm
I take the phrase "Comma Happy" to a whole new level. My friend Mr. Comma makes my happy place burn...

xd

It's better than being obsessed with Semi-Colins which according to Hero's English teacher (Who also plays DDR with us...) Is "Just about the best damn punctuation symbol God ever created."

blaugh  
PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:25 pm
Semi-Colins are called "Super Commas" by my 9th grade English teacher... he was awesome! And semi-colins do rock. 3nodding

I'm reather obssesed with commas, but I'm worse when it comes to the words that are used in paragraphs. Let me rephrase that: last year in 11th grade my English teacher gave our class an assignment to turn one short sentence into one paragraph... I ended up turning it (literally) into a 1 1/2 page story... I'm too obssesed with my writing... sweatdrop
 

Seishin-chan
Crew


SugarBeat_Angel
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:30 pm
Seishin-chan
Semi-Colins are called "Super Commas" by my 9th grade English teacher... he was awesome! And semi-colins do rock. 3nodding

I'm reather obssesed with commas, but I'm worse when it comes to the words that are used in paragraphs. Let me rephrase that: last year in 11th grade my English teacher gave our class an assignment to turn one short sentence into one paragraph... I ended up turning it (literally) into a 1 1/2 page story... I'm too obssesed with my writing... sweatdrop


xd I would have done the same...

I hope you're all happy... I've shortened Chapter 3 so you can get it tonight...

ninja

Ruin my fun... xd  
PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:32 pm
SugarBeat_Angel
xd I would have done the same...

I hope you're all happy... I've shortened Chapter 3 so you can get it tonight...

ninja

Ruin my fun... xd

dont' shorten greatness to appease our present greedy needs! We'll await your magnifisence with batted breath! 3nodding  

Seishin-chan
Crew


SugarBeat_Angel
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:36 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]  
Reply
Pockyism||THE GUILD

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