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 Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 9:52 pm
I have been dating this guy for a couple weeks now, and I like him a lot, but there is this nagging feeling in the back of my mind, and I think I am too used to being single to be in a relationship right now.
I haven't talked to my boyfriend yet, because I still like him a lot, and he likes me, but I'm not sure I am really ready for a relationship. I am 17 right now, but will I ever get over my dependence on being single, or is there a way or an age/emotional maturity that it will go away later?
Do I need a break from the relationship to try to work out that problem, or will it always be there or go away on its own?
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Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:08 pm
You sound just like me, except I'm the complete opposite. I'm 17 also, I've been with my partner for almost 5 years, and I feel I may never be able to cope, if something were to happen and it would leave me on my own. Well, I wont be completely on my own, because I have a one year old daughter now, but it's a different sort of committment than a relationship.
Before I found the love of my life, I dated on and off with a lot of, for no nicer word of putting it and a lighter word to what I could say, jerks. I thought I'd never find anyone, especially after my person I fancied for so long dumped me after a week. I had decided to stay single, until I met my now fiancee. Things were rough because I thought no one would ever want me for long. But as time went by, love settled in and we're still together and as in love as when we first met at the tender ages of 13 and 15.
As time goes on and you get a bit older, you will probably start feeling a longing to have someone of your own to hold and kiss, and fall asleep with and wake up to, and want to spend the rest of your life with. But you are still only 17. You've still got lots to live for. First thing you need to do though is be honest with your boyfriend and talk to him about how you're feeling. Tell him that's it's nothing to do with him, that it's you and your independance that's brought on this nagging feeling (because it sounds like you're very independant and don't want to have other people trying to change that, though they might not be trying)
Wanting to be with someone and not be single has nothing to do with age, though may have something to do with maturity (age and maturity don't really link together, you can have a 17 year old and a 70 year old and the 17 year old is acting like the 70 year old should be(according to society))
When you're ready to start committing, you'll know. But by the sounds of it, you're ready to try committment but are scared you might get hurt. Talk to your boyfriend and explain how you're feeling. Never know, he might feel the same.
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Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 9:19 pm
If you're feeling any doubt or hesitance about being with your boyfriend, it might be better to take a break, or to go back to being friends. Definitely talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling, so he knows, and then go from there.
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Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 3:04 pm
In my opinion, so it's not like it's the right choice or anything, you've only been dating for a short while and since you've been single so long, maybe you just need to get into a new routine of having someone else there. But I agree most with what was earlier stated and talk to your significant other. Just do what you think is right, i'm sure everything will work out fine 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 8:49 pm
Ok, so we talked about how I felt when we saw each other yesterday, and nothing really got resolved, so after a night of thinking about our conversation, I broke up with him today.
I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship, I have a lot of other stuff to worry about right now and he understands that.
Thanks for all the feedback, it helped me a lot.
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