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Hi there. Being a homeschooler, I've never really experienced the environment of a highschool and such (which is allright by me). I wouldn't say I'm sheltered, but I have definitely been protected from the outside world. I'm just curious - what would you consider being too sheltered?

When the one being sheltered can not protect itself from that in which it was sheltered from.

Yes, I know all this. And next year, I'm actually going into a program that allows homeschoolers to take classes at a college campus, so I thought it would be a good idea to slowly ease into it that way. I'm not overly sheltered. I'm probably the least sheltered person in my group of Christian friends.

Ok. This is an interesting topic. I can see several view points in it. I'm a parent. For me, as I watch the world we live in change, I have to keep reassessing what measures of sheltering to give my son. My parents always wanted to shelter us. They tried really hard, but in junior high, I had some friends who were in to heavy metal and sexual activity. At the time, i wasn't interested in having sex.. just liked boys.. kissing.. passing notes.. that was good enough for me.. thing is tho.. by the time i was 14, I knew almsot more than my mom did about just about everything to do with sex short of not having actually done it... and through my high school years, i was a little promiscuous and my parents have no idea about some stuff until i tell them. every now and then i'll tell my mom about things she didn't know. she gets these looks like she's gonna be sick or something.. but, ya know.. having lived through that, if my son tries to pull stuff, I've done it. i know better.

But, with my baby brother, i see my mom try to shelter him like crazy and at the same time not enforce any responsibility or accountability from him. On one hand, I can understand you don't want to take your kids to horror movies at like... age six because it's in appropriate. You don't want your kids totally desensitized to stuff; because then they won't be able to see what's wrong with it. But, never allowing them to be exposed to danger or evil also might be in a way desensitizing. i mean.. they were never sensitized to anything to start with.. so there is no "desensitization" needed. Like, if any of you read my little tale in the one thread about my journey into becomign apostolic and stuff... when i was 17.. i joined an apostolic congregation.. and these guys are total holiness people.. girls do not wear pants, makeup or jewelry [except wedding rings], and do not cut their hair. Boys do not have long hair, or mohawks, they do not have piercings all over their bodies, and something else that i don't remember. But... when i went there, a lot of the young people there were people who grew up in that. and, over time as i was there adn watched some of the kids grow older into young people themselves.. I notice that there is a higher number of "grew up under teh pew" teens who drop out of church and go do everything there is to do in teh world for a while before coming back. Most teens who come into the church getting saved and redeemed out of crummy lives... well, those coming out of it... they already know that there isn't anything there for them. But, some of these kids I think are more prone to do that because of the fact they are totally unaware of why various things in teh world are dangerous to them. They are oblivious to the real reasons the church maintains its holiness standards. They grow up with "we do it to be different from the world" pounded into their little brains.. but, when they get older and meet the "world"..

and for another perspective, some parents shelter their children to keep them away from doing drugs, sex, swearing, and other age-inappropriate activities. Well, yes, you don't want them to do these things. However, just like being born again after an age of accountability to the Lord. These kids also need to choose not to do those things of their own accord. I mean.. if they mess up... then they mess up. As the parent, you make them be responsible and accountable for their actions. You stand behind them all the way and support them. I don't mean enabling them.. fi you see them not choosing right with these things... the sooner you intervene the better. and can't just be like, "THIS IS FORBIDDEN! DON'T DO IT IN MY HOUSE!" I find this extremely ineffective. all it does is make your kid want to find somewhere else they can get away from doing it. Rather, I think establishing good communication with kids and helping them to understand that ... well, yeah... you might think drinking and getting plastered is fun.. sure.. you get a buzz and its' exciting at first. but it's also addictive. and any addictive behavior usually comes with a hefty price tag.. which leads to theft and other degenerate behaviors. Show them that also all that weekend binge drinking with friends will kill their livers by the time they are 25.. because your body can only purge the toxins so much at a time..

I mean... I see in a lot of these online games i play and on gaia and elsewhere on teh net.... we live in a day with so many people who want someone to be held accountable and to blame for thigns.. but noone wants to be the one to be a responsible accountable party... and I can't help but think some of that is from too much sheltering.. and allowing too many people to grow up without a sense of having to own up for their own actions and being allowed to make bad decisions and live the consequences of said actions.

that's my take on it. and as i said, I am a parent now. and these are always things i talk about with my friends who are parents....

I think my parents did a great job for the most part. They sent me to public school but prepared me for it. They instilled in me the values found in the Bible and I was blessed because of it. I was called a "momma's boy" but I embraced that. I wanted to be different, I wanted people to notice what God has done in my life.

Stop talking about my life.

The only thing I didn't want was all those years of being picked on when I first went to a public school.

i think that's a good point as well. To various people, the definition of how much becomes sheltering can be different too.. as there isn't a set standard of what establishes sheltering.

I somewhat agree with graceangel on this. hmm...how to explain my point. When I was young I was sheltered sweatdrop well I guess you can call it sheltered. My parents always tried to protect me from the outside world. I never was allowed to go out with friends unsupervised. I never really went out much at all. If they saw that I had the possibility of being taken or hurt they wouldn't allow me to go. This has continued until just recently when I somehow persuaded my parents to let me go and do things on my own. I've never been able to do something on my own. My mom has always done things for me. I've never really been allowed to make my own mistakes. I've always had a fear of making a mistake and still do somewhat. I've never had to pay with my own money so I don't really know much economic wise. Everything that has happened in my life has been closely supervised by my parents, and I hardly ever have any say so in what I do. I know my parents just want to protect me, but now I'm afraid that I'm not ready to face the real world. The only knowledge of the world I have is the world I see at my school. I just assume that the world isn't much different than the people who occupy it. So, I look at the student body at my school to see what the world will be like when I get in it. After telling my mom over and over again to let me do my own things and learn from my own mistakes, I finally obtained a little responsibility. I believe that my parents have one spoiled me and two sheltered me. I don't want to do this too my kids. This causes rebellion. It already caused my sister to rebel and move out. She has taken the wrong path and is living a hard life. She has become Athiest. I do not wish my kids to take the same path. I want to give them their freedom, but I also want to protect them from the things I know will hurt them. I'm not a parent yet, but I do know a bit of what I want for my kids.