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 Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:15 pm
 Welcome to the Logs of Sydney Kidamp, owned by Syddawg. This is a private journal, please do not post without permission.  Info Name: Sydney Kidamp Owner: Syddawg Stage: Ship's Boy Crew Position: Deckhand Ship: Dementia Description:Sydney tries to act gruff, tough, and manly, but really has a soft feminine side beneath the fa硤e. When she was quite young, her father died at sea, and so she, as the oldest, assumed the role of ?Man of the house?. She?s always worn her hair short, and was filled with horror when she started developing as a female, afraid she wouldn?t be allowed to work if they found out. She cured that by wearing a corset, tightened around her bust. She?s now quite full busted, and the corset doesn?t completely hide her figure from view, even with the baggy vest she?s taken to wearing to offset her figure more. Shunned from the workplace as a weak pathetic woman, and a dyke none the less, she finds herself embarking on the quest to find herself, and support her family aboard a pirate ship, still attempting to keep the male fa硤e up for as long as possible. Standing at 5'4 and weighing in at 140, she appears to be a strange, feminine boy, perhaps born of very poor fortune. 
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:26 pm
[Photo's]  I drew this when I was in an ansty mood. I'm having more trouble here then I ever had at my home village coming to terms with my two halves, the part that knows I should stay male, and the part that longs to be female.
 Me as a girl, right after daddy died. My hair was so long, and beautiful. I cannot believe, looking at my reflection in the water, that I was ever like that.A photo is worth a hundred words. Hopefully non of those words include "He's a she!"
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:28 pm
[Friends] As they'll have to know my secret to be considered a friend, this shall be forever sparce.
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:31 pm
[Acquaintances]  Taka Baine: A strange girl, so much taller than I. I only hope I can keep my secret from her without thoroughly killing myself. Try slouching and looking up at the same time. Yet I am not so self absorbed to notice she seems to be hiding something as well. Time will tell whether she will be an intersting friend, or a feared foe.  Morgan Malone: An interesting bloke, quite hyper, and perhaps a little cocky. As of yet I am not sure whether the overactive young man is a threat to my identity or not. He seems to be willing to not press issues, so even if he were to suspect, I'm not even sure I would know, not to mention him telling anyone else. Except maybe his companion Miss Kassidy, whatever their relationship may be. Gally Kassidy: Her girly outfit and all out appearence seem to be a guise. Although she has yet to reveal it, there seems to be a strong ribbon of distrust under her smoot surface, and I suspect that if I miss step she may try to hand me my balls on a platter. What a surprise she'd have attempting that. I'm glad I haven't acquired a macho attitude in my years of maleness, I don't know what would have happened If I had. Easy to attain, yet even easier to fall from grace, and very hard to surpass.
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:37 pm
[Enimies]
Keep your friends close, and yet your enimies closer
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:45 pm
[Booty]
All that I have, all that I am, and all that I will be is dedicated to my family.
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 6:08 pm
Monday, 5th of June
As my ferry pulls into dock at Isla Olvidada, butterflies are aflutter in my core. Having came here to meet up with a pirate ship, my future is uncertian at best.
After I was found out, for a wench instead of a lad, I was horrified, everywhere I went I couldn't find work, because they'd already heard of the wench who pretended to be a lad for years. Even though my bust isn't that obvious, especially under my vest, they all had heard of the girl with the flaming red hair, and I felt that the could all see through to my core.
I wish this log to document my life, so that, if I ever be lost at sea, my family know what my life is like. I miss my sisters and dear little brother already, and hope mamma can do well on what meager provisions I left behind when I departed a fortnight ago. I hope to send her money again soon, so my sisters can grow up proper females and my brother, the littlest can stay a boy a while longer.
As I wait for the final bump and call of all aboard, the buttflies beating faster as I wonder how long I will be able to pass for a male. I know it cannot be forever, especially if I am to be injured in battle, but I hope I am not outed prematurely, and I pray to our lord that I shalt not be thrust into Davy Jones Locker for my deciet and betrayal.
I shall be introducing myself as Sid, until I can find a better pirate nic...
The boat has landed and I must run..
Until I have privacy to write again,
Your's Truely
Sydney Kidamp
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Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 9:23 pm
Monday, 12th of June
I only have moments to jot, as I seem to be less than the center of attention right now. I was in the middle of a conversation with Miss Baine, but she seems to have zoned, so as of now, I have a spare minute to write some more.
Speaking of Miss Taka Baine, she is quite an interesting soul, if I have ever seen one. She's not like the wenches of my home town, all giddy and giggly, all girlish, or the whores of the Saloon lustfull and wanton. She is tough, for a girl, and someone I think could be a great friend, though I am not intirely sure as to how to make a friend, in the predicament I'm in. I've not made a friend since I was 10, and I quit being a girl. I made such a convincing boy, the girls that I used to claim as friends thought I had cooties, not even recognizing me.
Sigh. That was so long ago, I really shouldn't be reminescing, it's all so pointless, and yet, I find myself doing so as of recent. It might just be that along with Miss Baine, there was a couple, whether good friends, or lovers I cannot be sure down on the beach, having a good time. My heart is starting to long to be a woman, instead of this mere boy I pretend to be, and yet, I'm not even sure how to begin. I'm not even sure I want to.
I have spent too much time in this book already, as I have already done a doodle in my photo album. Its a bit angsty, but I don't really feel that wonderful at the moment. I kinda wish I could find a quiet corner, where I could cry, alone. But, that doesn't seem to be near, so instead I should end this, before I start to cry infront of everyone.
Until I am able to write again,
Your's Truely
Sydney Kidamp
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Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 4:22 am
Monday. 26th of June
The afformentioned couple decided, apparently to check us out, I suppose they caught me staring at them. I am slightly embarrassed at getting caught, but more annoyed that I brought more attention to myself, and I am not at all ready to be outed. I haven't even boarded the ship yet.
I am scribbling this while walking after the young man from the couple, so excuse me if this cuts off in mid thought, but the last thing I need is for someone to read my entries.
The couple are nice enough, still not altogether sure of their relationship to one another though. Miss Kassidy seems rather nice, and has a pretty sweet face, and a rather flash style of dress. I get the feeling though that one miss step and she'd have my balls though, and since I dont have any, that could prove quite a problem.
I'm glad I picked up some good manners from dad, he always believed a man should be curtious and respectful unless given cause not to be. If I had let the jerks at the forgery have their way, I would have become just like them, and this lovely chick would have probably lodged her boot somewhere I wouldn't want it lodged. I am sure we could be friendly enough, just as long as I don't do something to offend her.
The young lad, Mr. Malone, is quite the handful, hyper, sharp as a wood tack, and slightly cocky. So far, he hasn't seemed to press farther than I have wanted to go, on any subject, and I am not altogether sure he'd even let me know if he suspected my secret, not to mention telling anyone else. I still don't feel like allowing myself that venerability, not yet.
Speaking of venerability, that Miss Baine lass finally zoned back into the conversation, and I'm starting to wonder about her. I may have to ask her again if she's okay, she seems to be harboring her own secret, and I am unsure if it has anything to do with the young lads I saw her rushing away from or not.
One of those lads
Got to run, I'm getting much to far behind the group. I hope to doodle my new 'friends' later when I have the chance. I may even show them, someday.
Until I am able to write again,
Your's Truely, if rather Rushed
Sydney Kidamp
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