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 Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:59 pm
 
"Well here we are ladies and gentleman. Welcome to channel UPTWP. Today we have been given an incredible opportunity! We have with us the great mage Zifnab! You may have heard of him from the book series called 'The Death Gate Cycle' that was written by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. That is this Zifnab's twin. The man we speak to now is commonly found squandering his mindless quotes in the imaginary plains of Dungeons and Dragons."
"Tell me Zifnab...why is it that you have chosen our station?"
"It seems I've lost my party..."
"You're party?"
"Yes...the one in my pants." -wiggles brow-
"Uh...eh...heh. Right. So, what is your purpose on this plain?"
"I am here to answer all your questions."
"About what?"
"Anything."
"Well, you heard him Ladies and Gents. We know have our very own fountain of knowledge. Please call in with whatever questions you can think of and Zifnab here will answer them."
"Yes...Yes I will. I know EVERYTHING!" -runs around in a circle-
(seriously,ask Zifnab anything and he will give you an answer.)
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 7:26 pm
Ohh great Wizard, what's a Platypus?
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:09 pm
darkmage80 Ohh great Wizard, what's a Platypus?
"Hm..."-scrunches brow-"A semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal (Ornithorhynchus anatinus) having a broad flat tail, webbed feet, and a snout resembling a duck's bill. Basically...Poseidon...or whatever, really messed up the first few times he tried making a horse and the platypus is proof to that. Ooo...a nickel."
-runs away to grab the nickel then runs back-
"Thank you for your question darkmage80. Do we have any others?"
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:29 pm
I have one- is truth really like light, and does it illuminate both the question and the answer, or both? Is it like reality, and defined by the person, or is there a universal truth?
Seriously... that was the conversation I had with my friend Tantok today while I was theoretically working.
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 9:14 pm
DrefanKearse I have one- is truth really like light, and does it illuminate both the question and the answer, or both? Is it like reality, and defined by the person, or is there a universal truth?
Seriously... that was the conversation I had with my friend Tantok today while I was theoretically working.
"That's and impressive question Miss. So Zifnab...do you...uhm, Zifnab?"-pokes him awake-
"Hm! Banana! Oh....what was the question?"
"Miss DrefanKearse here is wondering whether truth really illuminates the question and answer or both, and wether or not it is like reality? She also questioned the existence of a universal truth."
"Yes young padawan...Yoda has taught you well."
"Uhm...was that an answer?"
"Heavens no! It was a statement of observation. MmHm. Yep. As for your questions little miss, in all my years of dealing with frogs, leaopards, strange wriggly things and people invading my quiet study time, I've come to discover that truth is just crazy."
"Pardon?"
"You heard me. The truth muddles things. Makes them brigth as a bulb for sure, but if it's something someone does not wish to hear then you get caught in teh cross hairs of an issue not your own. So, it's crazy. And yes, there is a unversal truth. Math...math holds the universal truth. Not the actual numbers...but the concept...the work...the dedication reserved for such a feat. Math."
"Sir...why such rude relations to truth?"
"Ride? No, no thank you. I do not want to go for a ride on a booth. However, truth is a controversial aspect of reality that dictates the menial from the important."
"Uhh....okay. Thank you DrefamKearse for your stimulating considerations."
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Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 5:14 pm
Ok Wizard dude, here's my question. 1, or 2?
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Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 5:29 pm
"You dare challenge me!"-points finger at Chance- "1. Now, would you happen to know where it is the nearest boy's room is so that I may relinquish this 1 from my body?"
"OH...uhm, that way. Past the second door Zifnab."
-runs off-
"Thank you for your querie Chance. I hope Zifnab had solved your dilemma."
-comes back in looking pleased-"Seems I did have asparagus today."
"Gross."
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 5:54 pm
Heres a question all-knowing one. . . What is the purpose of suffering?
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 2:02 pm
-screams and huddles in a corner- "The dark one questions me...No Sauron!!!! No!!!!!"
"Zifnab...his name is EyeoftheReaper and he is merely asking you questions as everyone else has. Now, what is your take on suffering sir?"
-sits back in his seat, eyeinf Reaper warily, hisses once or twice- Suffering...hmm...well, I've been suffering with an awful case of hem-"
-places hand over his mouth-"Heh, why don't I answer this one for you?"
"Dear no! I am all knowing! I shall respond! As for suffering m'boy, I believe it is the path to joy. In fact, after my pain I tend to always feel a little giddy. See m'boy, no matter the darkness lurking near, the human heart desires hope and a pleasantly real comfort. In order to understand true happiness...one must first understand true suffering."
"How prophetic Zifnab."
"Yes...yes he is pathetic."
-sighs- "Thank you for your question Mister Reaper. Is there anything else you wish to inquire? Or anyone elses wishes to ask?"
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 2:41 pm
Yes. . . . on the tangen of "Clerks 2", is it ever ok to go a** to mouth?
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:07 pm
"Goodness no! Are you not aware of the many vile green things that grow in a Donkey's mouth?"
-cracks up laughing-
"What is so funny?" -poking a frog on his lap-
-snickers-"Seeing as to how Zifnab has completely misinterpreted your question, I will answer on his behalf. If you are into it...yes. If not, then no. Such is only subject to opinion."
"What? A Donkey is like a walking rat!"
"Zifnab...rats already walk."
-hisses-"Back she-demon!"
"Brother..."
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:55 pm
Pssh, you have randal's point of view. . . everyone else says it isnt ok to go a** to mouth =P I agree with everybody for once though. . . . But yes. . . ANOTHER question *cackles maniacally* What does the all knowing zifnab and his exceptionally attractive vassal in the silken loin cloth with the nice boobs think of lesbian/gay marriage?!
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:12 pm
Ummm...Yeah...He took me question.... xp
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Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 12:09 pm
"Hm, both darkmage and Reaper seem to want your perspective on this Zifnab. So...have you an answer?"
"Lesbian...hm...well, seeing two women may be interesting, but how dare ye inquire as to the male on male subject!"-starts hopping around madly-"Sodomist! Sodomist! I will smite ye!"
-blinks-"Uh...well, my view-"
"No! I am smiting them!"-waving hands threateningly-
"Anyways, as I was saying, my view on this is that it is none of my business. Should someone wish to get married then let them. Whether they be male and male or female and female is no issue of mine. They are still human and such a ceremony has been granted to us all. So...marry if you must...it does not affect me in any way."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" -runs off into the wild blue yonder-
-sigh-"Thank you for your questions...I wonder when he'll be back..."
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Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 1:47 pm
. . . . I'm sorry but. . . . Lesbians > Gays ((>.>))
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