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Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 12:51 pm
A neighbor of mine asks me about something.
My Neighbor Carrey has a daughter that's 5. WELL Carrey's daughter Linda is really into the harmonious group PCD *The p***y Cat Dolls*. She act's like they do in there music videos and repeats what they sing. Well PCD does actions that well um... strippers do... and well Carrey told Linda that she couldn't be in PCD so she should stop acting like them... WELL Linda found out that strippers do the same actions, so now she wants to be a stripper!
Linda attends a catholic elementary school, and Carrey is out of her mind with worry that Linda will say if like her teacher asks her what she wants to be when she grows up she'll say "stripper".
I don't know if this is the right sub forum but what should my friend Carrey do?
NOTE: She's a single working mother!
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 11:23 am
She's 5, the mother has total control over what she listens and plays with. I'm a bit suprised that the girl is learning what strippers are, which I would be concerned with as a mother.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 12:11 pm
I agree with Luna. Mom doesn't have to let her daughter listen to these things and watch these kinds of videos. Where on earth did she learn how strippers move, anyway?
As for practical advice on changing careers, well it takes a bit of work. She needs to have a talk with her daughter about the positives AND negatives of being a stripper. Of course, she can put it into language that her daughter can understand, for example "often there are bullies who pick on strippers and beat them up" or something. What she should also do is try to introduce her daughter to other things. For example, she could take her daughter to a ballet and say "wouldn't you love to be a ballerina? Look at all those pretty dresses they get to wear!" Or something similar.
Basically, this kid is 5 years old. She's in a stage of development where she's choosing heros and trying to "be like them." The problem is that she's chosen unhealthy role models. The mother's job at this point is to re-direct her attentions to more socially acceptable role models. You can do this by taking the girl to see these things (as in a ballet or ice skating show or something), or by buying books on the subject and the like.
I actually had something similar when I was a kid. I saw Indiana Jones and all I wanted to be for years was a University professor with a whip and a cool hat who fought nazis.
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Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 3:01 pm
Lets just say her uncle is a perverted man, who USED to babysit her.
She's been trying to find different things to get her interested in, she also tryed taking away PCD, but alas that resulted in A LOT of screaming and bad words!
Also as I said she's a full time SINGLE working mother, she has a hard time trying to spend time with her daughter and still have time for herself. I think i'm going to have to help her on this...
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Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:13 pm
Uhm, her being a single mother is irrelevant. Please don't demean what other single parents do. Yes, it's hard for them, but it's not an excuse.
She does NOT need to be enabling a 5 year old. She is NOT taking away the offensive music, it IS her fault at this point, no one else's. The daugher has her wrapped around her fingers. So, she screams, says bad words (which seems to go unpunished?), she's five. There needs to be consistency in discipline, that includes ALL care takers and perhaps the school needs to get involved. Unacceptable behavior should not be rewarded. Throwing tantrums over music she should not be listening to and then giving it back gives a mixed message to the girl that she can get away with it. She has the upper hand.
That's admirable that you want to help, but really this is something a parent needs to get done on her own. You can help reinforce this, but you can't be this girl's parent.
edit: I wanted to add, I'm not trying to come off as mean or harsh, but upfront and honest. It's not going to get easier and there is a lot of bad things out there for our kids to get exposed to, but if it's not nipped in the bud now, by the parent, it's going to get much worse.
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Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 11:11 am
Tell her the truth about what they do and why it dangerous. One of my best friends wanted to do and i told her i wouldn't let her. Cause i heard to many scary stories about it. Worse case she has a little one of her own. Think about it. If it was me, I would die before letting my little one grow up like that. NO escuse. Better yet, heres an idea. Watch her while your friend works that way a responsible adult is with her. Try to be her roll modle too. At least she'll grow up know whats right and wrong. As for punishing her. Ground her is the best thing, shes young, she'll get over it. Just tell your freind to put her foot down.
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:05 pm
Yeah thats a tough one my 4 year old Alyssa is going through a fase now were she likes to take off all her cloths and run throuhg the house shaking her bum in the air singing "shake your butty" and to be frank I have no clue were hse learnt these things but the way I have delt with it is by controling the things she sees on tv and the music I let her listen to and by explaining to her that she cant do those kind of things because good little girls dont do that only nasty girls do and so far it has been working for me.
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 2:15 pm
RinoaRose Yeah thats a tough one my 4 year old Alyssa is going through a fase now were she likes to take off all her cloths and run throuhg the house shaking her bum in the air singing "shake your butty" and to be frank I have no clue were hse learnt these things but the way I have delt with it is by controling the things she sees on tv and the music I let her listen to and by explaining to her that she cant do those kind of things because good little girls dont do that only nasty girls do and so far it has been working for me. hmmm, thats a good thing to do BUT. try not telling her that only nasty girls do that. Cause when she gets married one day wounded that confuse her. Later on in life.
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