Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hello, and welcome to my little corner of laughter!! Are you feeling sad? Feeling depressed, mumbly, angry, or sick? This is the thread for your cures!! It was created to ease your sadness with some of the greatest of all funny quotings, stories, and jokes of Lord of the Rings and Co. !! Feel free to post in your jokes, stories or quotes, modified or not, so as to easen people's sadness, and at least bring them a smile. Let the laughing begin!! This first post will contain my own collection of stories and quotings, posted in the Lotr subforum variation.

This thread is also the host of some caption contests, that can be found from pages 7+. I advise newcomers of the thread to read every post of the thread...because some stories, quotings and funny poems are distributed throughout the thread, courtesy of our regulars.

((Some of you may notice that this is a transfer of the Funny Quotings and Stories thread from the Lotr Subforum to the guild. Rest assured, i will make some fairly good jokes with the books too, not only the movies wink Also, i will post here a link to the greatest funny fanfiction that i have ever read!! Actually, the only one i've ever read...but great nonetheless. ))

((Also, feel free to change whatever you want in the quotings and stories, to make them funny. I am used to replace words with other words related to "fangirls"...like "l33t", "spam", and so on, and so forth. Some of the quotings are not of my authory, but the stories are.))


"The fires of the Literate shall spread...and the forests of Fangirlbrow, and L33tland will burn...There won't be any fangirls, Pippin..." Merry, TTT Movie

"To Mary Sue you belong rather, and should seek service with fangirls." -Turin, Narn I Hin Hurin, Silmarillion

"Bilbo Baggins! Do not take me for some fangirl of poor spelling! I am not trying to annoy you, I'm trying to help you." -Gandalf, FOTR Book/Movie

"Late is the hour in which these fangirls choose to appear. Can't spell I name them!, ill grammar is an ill guest." -Grimma, TTT Movie/Book ((My personal favourite blaugh lol ))

"We've not had dealings with the fangirls since the dark days." -Haldir, FOTR Book ((not sure, never read Fotr...shoot me))

"Is there any hope now, Gandalf? For the fangirls?
"There was never much hope...just a literate's hope." Gandalf, ROTK Movie

"Saruman has blended the races of fangirls and 1337speakers." Gandalf, FOTR Movie ((Again, not sure))

Fangirls are running freely across our forums. Unchecked. Unchallenged. spamming at will." Eomer, TTT Movie/Book

"What is it? What do you smell?" "Fangirls." "They've picked up our trail! Let's go!" Uruk-hai, TTT

"He was ambushed by fangirls. If we don't defend our country, the fangirls will take it by force." - Eomer, TTT

"The time of the literate is over. Do we leave the fangirls to their fate? Do we let them stand alone?." - Galadriel, TTT

"Don’t talk to the fangirl, Merry. Don't encourage it." - Pippin, TTT

"10,000 fangirls now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom. I've sent him to his death. Gandalf, ROTK

"You know what the dwarves released, in the deep recesses of the Earth...Shadow and Fangirls!!!" Saruman, FOTR

"I sense a foul voice in the air..." "It's the Fangirls!" Leolas & Gandalf, FOTR

"Word has reached my ear of these Fangirls, daughters of L33tspeakers, and i will tell you now...I WILL NOT BOW TO THESE FREAKS OF THE CELEBRITY SUBFORUM!" Denethor, ROTK

"The Beacon! The Beacon of the Fangirls is lit!" Soldier, ROTK

"The Dark L33t will not avail you, Fangirl of Udun! I am a servant of the Secret Literates, Wielder of the Spell-checker of Anor! YOU SHALL NOT PASS! *bang*" Gandalf, FOTR

"I will take the fangirl to Mordor" - Frodo, FOTR

"Dark have been my dreams of late" "Breathe the free air again, free of the fangirls." Gandalf and Theoden, TTT

"It is the fangirl." Gollum, ROTK

"It might be well enough for this lord of the race of Gondor as he claims, " he said. "but who has ever heard of a horse of the Mark being given to a fangirl?" TTT Book

"One by one, the free forums of Gaia fell to the power of the fangirls." Galadriel, FOTR

"Fangirls crept back into the forums of Gaia. Rumor grew of 1337speak in the east." Elrond (?), FOTR

"Do not meddle in the affairs of fangirls, for they are illiterate and quick to spam." Gandalf, FOTR

"I amar prestar aen…The world is changed. Han mathon ne nen… I feel it in the water. Han mathon ne chae… I feel it in the Earth. A han noston ned gwilith. I smell it in the air.

Much that once was is lost. For none now live who remember it.

It began with the forging of the fangirls..." Galadriel, FOTR

"Fool of a Fangirl! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" Gandalf, FOTR

"Sam: Leave him (frodo) alone!
Faramir: Who are you? His bodyguard?
Sam: no, his fangirl!" Frodo, Sam and Faramir, TTT

"Fangirls are roaming freely in the Riddermark, pillaging villages with their screeches for legolas" Aragorn (?), TTT

"The stars are veiled. Something stirs in the East. A sleepless l33t. The spam of the fangirls is moving." Legolas, ROTK


Stories:

The Balrog blasts the neighbour's car!
It is a quiet night in town. I am sitting by the window, enjoying the many pleasures of Gaia. Suddenly, the roof of a building next to my house blasts, and a huge fire bursts, that disintegrates the debris that are in the air. From the roof comes out the Balrog, with a mighty jump, and lands on the neighbour's car. I run to the kitchen, grab the camera, and take a picture as a souvenir. After some fifteen minutes, the balrog gets bored and walks through the streets, vanishing into the buildings. The next morning, the neighbour awakes, goes to fetch the newspaper, and finds his car completely squished and carbonized. I am there to see his reaction.


N- Wtf is this?! Who did this to my car?
Me- Well, it was a Balrog...
N-What the hell is a Balmob?
Me-B.A.L.R.O.G! They are...
N-*After some hours of Silmarillion text flowing through his brain, he falls asleep.*
Me-*The knowlege that pours out of his mouth is such that he starts to speak elvish.* And that concludes the explanation of what is a Balrog. Hey! WAKE UP!
N-....uh.......huh..what?
Me-Did you heard a little?
N-Just something about the world's making...nothing much else...
Me-*I start sweating a lot, as i look to the neighbour*
N- Wooooo, this is a hot day...
Me-*trying to contain the fangirl scream* Turn around and you will meet the nice person who did that to your car *i turn around and run away to my house. I quickly grab my video camera and start shooting*
N-*turns around* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAIII!!!!!!!!! *starts running, but the Balrog grabs him
N-Yikes, Yikes, aarrghhhh!! it burns!! aaahh!!!
Balrog-ROOOOAAARR!!! *firey breath almost melts down the neighbour's flesh* *stretches arm, squeezes the neighbour, and with a burst of flame, the neighbour is disintegrated*
Me- Wow...*i take out the tape from the videocamera* My preciousssss.....

The End!

THE TRUE FALL OF GANDALF


Gandalf- "Be gone! I am a servant of the secret Literate, wielder of the Spellchecker of Anor! You shall not pass!!!

Balrog- "ROOOOOOAR...................OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG L3g0l@s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Legolas- *faints, Aragorn lets him fall on the ground*

Gandalf- "The Dark l33t will not avail you, Fangirl of Udun!"

Balrog- "ROOOOAR.........OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!11111!!!1!1!11!!!!!1 G0RNY!!!! (Aragorn)

Aragorn- *faints*

Gandalf- "Go back to the Celebrities Subforum!!"

Balrog- ROOOOAR.....OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG G1ML1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!1!!!!! B34RD13!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!111!

Gimli- *tears off his beard and cries, both of pain and panic*

Gandalf- "YOU...SHALL NOT...SPEAK L33T!!!!" *smites bridge*

Balrog- "OMGOMGOMOGMGOMGOMGOMGOGM GANDHI!!! UH 1 M34N, G4ND1E!!!!!!!" *chases Gandalf* *falls off the bridge*

Balrog- *falling* G4ND1E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!11!!!!!111!!!!

Gandalf- *gets hit by l33t* Fly you fools! *falls off, wrivled in pain*

The End!!!

An alternate end to the Second Age:

Elrond- Cast the l33t into the Fire!

Isildur- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG RINGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!11111!!! H3'2 20 23XX4Y!!!!1!!!1!111!11!1!! 1'LL N3V3R D32TR0Y 1T!!!!!!111!!! B1TCH!!!!!11!!!11!!

Elrond- DESTROY IT!!!!!!!!!

Isildur- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG N3V3R!!!!!1!!!1!! *walks away*

Elrond- By Literate, do as i say, you deluded fangirl!! Oh why, Literate, Why hast thou delivered this fateful thing to such an easily corruptible IDIOT?! *runs to Isildur, draws Hadhafang, and cuts off Isildur's hand. He kicks Isildur's hand onto the Cracks of Doom*

Isildur- OMGOMGOMGOMGWTFWTFWTFWTF!!!11!!!!!11 Y0U B42T4RD!!!111!!11!!!1111! y0U D32tR0Y L33T!!! N0W W3 4LL D1E!!!!11!!!11!!1! L0NG L1V3 TH3H L33T!!! PH34R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!11111!!!1!!! l33t W1LL R3TURN!!11!1!

Elrond- *kicks Isildur onto the Cracks of Doom, without any words, and runs the hell out of there, for the entire mountain is convulsing* *sees no Eagles in the skies* *gets hit by a burning rock on the head* *Humptey-Dumptey Music Background*

The End!!!

THE TRUE FALL OF THE WITCH-KING:


Theoden: *rides, and rides, kicking Harad and Orc butts.*

Witch-king- *mounted in his fell beast, swoops down, and clenches it's huge teeth on Snowmane (Theoden's horse, don't know if the translation is correct), throwing both the rider and horse to the side.*

Eowyn- *nears the king*

Merry- *rides happily between Eowyn's arms* *drools*

Eowyn- *dismounts, with merry, and stands in front of Theoden. Merry watches

Witch-king- "Feast on his flesh!" *spots Eowyn*

Eowyn- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG 1 W1LL K1LL J00 1F J00 T0UCH H1M!!!1!!!11!!1111!!!!!1!!!1!!!!11!!! B1TCH!!1!!!11!111!!!!

Witch-king- *Shrieks*

Merry- *falls, wrivled in pain, for the echoes of the Literate flow through the Nazgul's voice*

Witch-King- "Kill me?! Thou fanboy!! No living fangirl can slay me!! *pulls off mace, and the fell-beast nears her, ready for a bite*

Eowyn- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGWTF J00 D13 N0W ********!! *swings her l33t-sword, that cuts through the fell beast's flesh like a hot knife on butter*

Witch King- *falls, raises, and shrieks, while swinging his humongous Literate Flail, equipped with the Spellchecker of Sauron*

Eowyn- *equips l33t-shield* OMGOMGOMG j00 f0ck4rd!!1!!11!!!1!!!!!1!!!!!111!!!!!!! *flail hits shield, that blows up with the phrase "and so it came to pass that the fangirls, who were the spawn of the l33tspeakers, perished, and many of the Literate celebrated, for soon enough, the l33tspeakers' spawn would be destroyed, and the Literate would rule Middle-Earth, as they had done in the Dark Days."*

Witch King- *grabs Eowyn by the neck* Die now!

Merry- j00 b1tch!!!! c03m h3r3, joo s0x my r0x!!!1!!!1!!1!!1!!!!11!!11!! *stabs Witch King with Numenorean l33t-dagger, written by the Numenorean L33tspeakers*

Witch King- *shrieks of pain and suffering*

Eowyn- j00 2t00p1d!!!!11!!111!!!11!11!!!!1 4m n0 f4nb0y!!!!11!!!11!! 1 4m f4ngurlz!!11!!11!!11!!!11!!1 Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!11!!!1!!!11!!!11!!!! *stabs l33t-sword on Witch King's face*

Witch King- *shrieks of pain and suffering. A blast of l33t happens, and he implodes*

Merry- j00 4r3 d4 r0x0r!!!!!!!1!11!!111!!!!11!!!1!!!!

Eomer- *nears Theoden's fallen corpse, and hears his last words. He raises, yelling* L33T!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!! L33T!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!1!!1!1!1!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!! L33333333333333333333333333T|!!!!1111!!

Soldiers- *repeat Eomer's sayings*

Witch King- *leaving his body forever, he looks down at the Fields of the Pellenor* L33ted by a Fangirl...oh the shame!!!!!

THE END!!!

THE TRUE DEBATE BETWEEN GANDALF AND DENETHOR

Gandalf- *enters, with Pippin beside him* j00 d0nT b3 st00p1d!!1111!!!!!!!1!1!1!!111!!!1! th12 gUy 12h v3rY s3r10u2!!11!!!!!111!!111!! 20 sh00t uP d4 m0UtH!!!1!!!111!!!!1!!

Pippin- j00 s0x m4 r0x!!!11!!!!!!!1!! B1tch!!!!11!!!

Gandalf- *nears Denethor* OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG DENNIE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!1111!1!!1!!!! D00d3, h0w 4r3 j00?!111?1?!!?!??!!!???111??!!! 1'M h3r3 to H3Lp j00!!!!111!! g1v3 m44444444444444444444ny 4dv1c3s!!!11!!1!!!!11!!1!!!1!!!

Denethor- Perhaps thou hast come to explain me this? *shows Boromir's broken horn*

Gandalf- d00de, th3r3 w1ll b3 t1m3 t00 cRy,,,,, 2t00p1d b1tch!!11!!11!!!1!!11!!!!! Th3 L1t3r4t3 1sh c00m1ng!!!!!11!!11!111!!1!1!!!!!

Denethor- I am one of the Litrate, thou fool!!! *shows Palantir*

Gandalf & Pippin- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!!!!!!11111!!!1!1!!!!11!!1!11!!! j00 20X M4 r0X!!! j00 f00ck4rd!!1!!!!11!!

Denethor- *histerical laugh* Word has reached my ears of this Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and i tell you now, i will not bow to this Fangirl of the Celebrities Subforum, member of a House long deprived of it's nobility! Fangirls they are, corrupted by the shadow of l33t! Be gone, now! With one hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor, and with the other you would use that Fangirl to replace me!! I am more perceptive than you think, fangirl! *draws sword, and stabs Gandalf*

Pippin- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGWTFWTFWTFWTF j00 st4bb3d h1M!!!!1!!!11!!!! *jumps into the fray, and stabs Denethor*

Denethor- *gets up, and the whole Citadel falls on them* *Humptey-Dumptey theme song*

THE END!!

THE TRUE SUMMONING OF THE DEAD ARMY

Legolas- The way is shut. It was made by those who used l33t and are dead, and the ghostly fangirls keep it. The way is shut.

Aragorn- *gripping Narsil* *gulps* No matter the peril, we must cross these Paths, for the sake of Gondor and Middle-Earth!!

Gimli- *shivering with fear* uh...y-yeh r-right... *gives one step farther, and starts sweating*

Aragorn- I do not fear Dead Fangirls! *enters the Paths*

Legolas- I do not fear the Dead Fangirls, for they are shadows of the l33tspeakers, and as such, they cannot harm me.

Gimli- That comes from the one who fainted at the Balrog's fangirl-ish squealing...

Legolas- You fainted too...

Aragorn- ENOUGH! Come inside, NOW!!

Legolas- Should we obey him?

Door- *wind whisper*

Gimli- uh.....Coming, Aragorn!!

Legolas- *enters*

Gimli- Well, here's something i haven't heard of...an Elf going underground....while a dwarf cannot! It would be the end of me...*enters*

Halbarad- Come on, you ninnies! We need to cross this quickly!

----------------------------------

*The travellers arrive to the Stone of Erech*

Aragorn- Damned ones, why hath thou come?

King of the Dead- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG G0RNY!!!!11!!111!!!!!11!!11!!!! c4n j00 23t u2 fr33?????!?!?!?!111!!1!!one???!!!?!11!!

Aragorn- What say you?!

King of the Dead- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG H3 d032n't sp34k l33t!!!!1!!!!11!!!!!!111!!!11!1!11!1!!!!!B1tCh!!!!1!!111!!!f0ck4rD!11!!111!!!

Aragorn- WHAT SAY YOU?!

King of the Dead- j00 s0x m4 r0x!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!111!!!11!!!!11!!!!1!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!1111!!!11!!11!! 0k f0ck4rD w3 w1ll f1GhT!!!!!11!!!1!1!!11!!111!!!!!1!!!

Aragorn- WHAT SAY YOU, FOR LITERATE'S SAKE??!!

Legolas- They will fight, Aragorn. Give attention to your throat...

Aragorn- How the hell do you know what they say?

Legolas- My highly superior Elven qualities...

Gimli- PHFFFFFAH!!

The End!!!

*sighs* good ending to a crappy day @ school... OH NO ABBREVIATIONS! L33T SPEAK! NOOOOO!

Oh, I know that one. Now I can never watch FotR without thinking
"You've officially been labeled a disturber of the pants."
xd heart xd

That thread is also amazing...but you have to agree, the word "fangirls" awakens more laughter than the word "pants" wink domokun

Something tells me, you have a infautuation with humty dumty...lol.

Those quotes arte great. I especailly like the Balrog stroy. (the one with Gandalf)

"Go back to the Celebrities Subforum!!"

As i said in the begginning; replace the words for anything you want! I'll try a fangirl/pants combination...

"Word has reached my pants of these Fangirls, daughters of l33tspeakers, and i tell you now...I will not pee in the floor!" Denethor

xd

Tis one of my favourite parts in the book so I figured I'd ruin it. Wooh!