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| Should I collect all my posts in one thread? |
| Yes, which you can update now and then. |
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50% |
[ 4 ] |
| No, it'd be too hard to find your newest material. |
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[ 2 ] |
| No, I wouldn't care to read it anyway. |
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[ 0 ] |
| Whatever! |
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| Total Votes : 8 |
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 Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 7:49 am
Maybe I should start a big thread where I collect them all instead? I mean, I sure am going to post a hell of a lot more stories/verses/lyrics/poems/whatever here, so I might as well do it at one specified place...This doesn't look like much to the world, I know, but it's another test of my writing abilities. I thought "What if I was the one who wrote the Bible? What would it look like?". So I experimented with the thought for a while, and ended up trying to write a verse of my own in true biblical style. This was a challenge, since I've never read a single row in the bible before. The very message of the verse isn't very important, what I'm asking for is wether this looks like something straight out of the bible or just something I made up. It's the style I'm wondering about, not the message of the verse. 3nodding The Missing Verse For, when the earth is filled with violence, and wickedness, and, thy Lord has forsaken thee; [as] thy Lord shall, [the] righteous dead shalt awaken from [the] heavens and taketh thy light, [and] thy shadow.
When thou looketh at thy Sun, for comfort, [it] shalt roar and swallow thee and thy kin.
When thou looketh at thy Moon, for hope, [it] shalt fall and collapse [upon] thee and thy kin.
When thou and thy kin art no more, the dead shall reign with a rod of iron. Comments? biggrin
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:40 am
TheGoblin Maybe I should start a big thread where I collect them all instead? I mean, I sure am going to post a hell of a lot more stories/verses/lyrics/poems/whatever here, so I might as well do it at one specified place...This doesn't look like much to the world, I know, but it's another test of my writing abilities. I thought "What if I was the one who wrote the Bible? What would it look like?". So I experimented with the thought for a while, and ended up trying to write a verse of my own in true biblical style. This was a challenge, since I've never read a single row in the bible before. The very message of the verse isn't very important, what I'm asking for is wether this looks like something straight out of the bible or just something I made up. It's the style I'm wondering about, not the message of the verse. 3nodding The Missing Verse For, when the earth is filled with violence, and wickedness, and, thy Lord has forsaken thee; [as] thy Lord shall, [the] righteous dead shalt awaken from [the] heavens and taketh thy light, [and] thy shadow.
When thou looketh at thy Sun, for comfort, [it] shalt roar and swallow thee and thy kin.
When thou looketh at thy Moon, for hope, [it] shalt fall and collapse [upon] thee and thy kin.
When thou and thy kin art no more, the dead shall reign with a rod of iron. Comments? biggrin I thought it was good, but you had too many brackets (i thinketh)
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 5:55 pm
The farther you went the more it began to sound like the Bible. Way too many brackets. Most people could figure it out.
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 11:27 pm
Too many brackets? Damnation scream ! I guess I have to practice a bit more...
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 10:06 am
um... I've read the bible, and that didn't really sound like the bible I've read. But then my bible doesn't have any thee and thou's and all that. But if you were doing it in that context then, yeah, it might sound biblical like. But at the same time it, um, is kind of sad and depressing. It's all somber like and vengeful and I haven't really come across anything like that in my reading. I've found more love than hate. But if you were to use that in a story where the people's god was all crazy/evil/wicked/insane than it would be nice. The style of it is good, but it doesn't fit in the context of the bible.
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