This is a fanfiction I feel very proud of, feel free to comment. Go to my friend:
Tumael (NOT in my profile's friend list) to look at brief charecter avatar creations in his first chapter because there are a few charecters made up by myself. The Yami Bunch is also posted in MY journal and HIS Journal since we both work on it. 3nodding
We have cancelled production due to lack of interest, time, readers, and opinions
Chapter One!!
Narrator: "Hello everyone and welcome to the first episode of the Yami Bunch! We are going to put five different couples together for one year, trapped in a mansion! Will they survive with only minor mental scars, or will they all emerge gone completely mad?!? Find out on The Yami Bunch! And here's your host, or should I say hostess, the insanely beautiful Ishizu Ishtar!"
Ishizu: "Hello and welcome to this episode of the Yami Bunch! In this episode, we will meet our couples and see just one day of their new lives! Let's meet the couples! Couple # 1: Atem and Tea!!!"
Atem: "Um... hello... TRUST IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS!!!! YAAAAAAA!!!!!"
Tea: "Um, that was un-expected ... let me do what I always do in response to anything Atem does: you can do it Atem! Beliiiiiiiiieve in yourself!"
Ishizu: "Okaaaay, let's meet our 2nd couple, they say Tis fate that brought them together to wreak havoc on the world as we know it. Meet Marik and Kyri!!!"
Marik: "Meet thy future ruler of the world, for when I possess the Pharaoh's power I will have more power than thou can ever- " Kyri interrupts
Kyri: "--And once he gets it, there will be so much pain and anguish for all you virtuous people that you'll wish that you were never born!!!! Prepare for the worst, righteous and moral nitwits!"
Ishizu: "Yaya heard it a million times before, now shut up.? Marik and Kyri scowl, "Let's move on to Couple # 3. You?ll all agree that two words describe them, which are, "Stupid Blondes!" Meet, Joey and Mai!" Ishizu says as the entire audience yawns and one individual farts loudly which makes everyone scoot away from him.
Joey: "Heya, all my adorin' fans!!! I LOOVVVVVVVVVVVE FOOD! Ahahahahahahahhahaha!!!! Joey emits a demented New York laugh as one person yells ?Go back to New York ya tourist!?
Mai: "I'm beautiful right? I'M STILL BEAUTIFUL RIGHT?!?" panicking, she looks into mirror "Yep, I'm stiiiiiiiiiillllll beautiful!!" She smiles, cracking the mirror with her gaze
Ishizu: "Yes, yes, Mai? she says aggravated, ?kudos on that. Now let's meet couple #4. Meet Bakura and Blare!"
Bakura in a monotone: "How much are we getting paid for this again?"
Blare: "Enough to buy many weapons of mass destruction remember that." Bakura grins evilly
Ishizu: "Aright then, on to Couple # 5. Meet Kisara and Kaiba!"
Kaiba: with a mad gleam in his eyes: "Kaiba Corp will out-earn you McDonalds! WE WILL!!!"
Kisara: "Sorry, but Kaiba's a little bit paranoid today. Kaiba Corp is in a neck and neck race with the Yellow Arches--" ::is interrupted by a tearing sound as Kaiba rabidly rips the head off a Ronald McDonald doll with his teeth:: -sighs- "-to see who can earn more money."
Ishizu: ?We don?t? have time for the other interesting people, so everyone will now go into the mansion!?
Week 1, Day 1, 7:09 a.m., The Kitchen
Joey is humming a childish song as he cooks in a pink apron with red hearts that says "Kiss the Chef" on the front and "I Love NY" on the back. A groggy Bakura enters the kitchen, wearing a much-wrinkled black outfit and looking in the mood to kill.
Joey: "Well, look what the dog dragged I--" he falters at stare from Bakura who chooses to ignore Joey's ridiculous outfit and to pour some coffee
Joey: "Hey that's mine, New York Coffee House Blend!!"
Bakura: grimly: "Don't get in the way of me and my coffee, mortal."
Joey: "Ooo, little touchy aren't we now?"
Bakura angry: "I've had enough." He says while he fingers Millennium Ring with relish "I hope you enjoy the Shado--" he?s interrupted by Atem?s entrance, in his customary seven-belted outfit
Bakura mutters to himself "Damn." And looks up at Joey and Atem "Are you two staying in here?"
Both: "Yes, why?" Joey sniffs his nose from a burning smell from his pan.
Former doesn't answer, just turns promptly and leaves.
Joey is used to being ignored so he opens his mouth first "So what's sup Yug?"
Atem: "Um, I'm not sure, but isn't the proper response to that, nothing much?"
Joey: "Ya got it! I'm proud of Ya Yug!"
Atem: smug "Yes, I am learning the strange speech of the 21st century quite quickly, if I do say myself, uh, dude! And don?t? call me Yug?"
Joey: "Ya, but 'member that one time when ya said ya nose was constipated instead of congested? Man that was fun-nay!"
Atem ignores him and is wrinkling his nose at the strange concoction in Joey's frying pan "Um, may I ask what this is, Joey?" his pace petrifies at the possibilities
Joey: "Ya sure can! It's my specialty, chocolate covered pizza! Mmmm!"
Atem tries to hide the repulsed look on his face: "That's great, but ... must I partake in this, err, delicacy??
Before Joey can answer, a small yelp of surprise emits from the hallway. Atem and Joey mutually pop their heads out of the door to see Marik looking a little embarrassed as Stephanie pokes at an unknown object under the small end table
Joey: ::smirking:: "What is it?"
Marik: "A repulsive ... creature ... it ?twas...? he shudders "fuzzy!"
Blare: "Whatever it is, it isn't coming out."
Bakura: "Put Joey's concoction near it; the stench will force it to emerge, then we can sacrifice it to the gods." ::in an undertone:: "Though they would much prefer a human offering." ::eyes Joey murderously::
Atem: "You just want an excuse to kill something!" ::Bakura shrugs:: "Where did you come from anyways?"
Bakura: "I heard Marik scream," :Marik scowls: "so I figured there was the remote possibility that this would be amusing."
Marik: "Not amusing, horrible!!!"
Tea: enters via the hallway, wearing a Happy Lover nightgown: "What's horrible?"
Joey smirking, partly at Marik's fear, partly at seeing Tea in her nightclothes: "There's a "monster" under the table." At hearing this new voice, a brown fuzzy head emerges from the ornately decorated wood of the end table. Everyone jumps except for Atem.::
Atem: "Nestor?" ::gathers up the repulsive brown lump in his arms and nuzzles it affectionately::
Everyone else: O_o
Marik: ::is the first to recover:: "Nestor? This appalling fluff-ball has a name?!"
Atem: "Yes. Nestor, my pet Kuriboh!"
Bakura: "O gods."
Marik: "Somehow, this doesn't surprise me."
Kyri: "But why a pet ... Kuriboh?"
Atem: "Why not!?!" in a tone that sounded shocked that anyone could ask such a question:: "Because they're warm and fuzzy and cute and fuzzy and happy and innocent and fuzzy and beautiful and, did I mention fuzzy?:: pauses to take a deep breath:: ?And,? :: continues squeezing Nestor until the poor thing's eyes are bulging out of its sockets as sweat drops appear on everyone else.:: "Lovable!"
Joey: suddenly, as the conversation has finally hit his brain: "Hey, a Kuriboh? Did you all know they taste like chicken?!?" ::crazy hungry gleam enters his eyes as he stares at Nestor:
Atem: "That's enough!" in a suddenly grim and dangerous tone:: "No one will be eating Nestor. Nor sacrificing him. Nor wearing him as a warm fuzzy slipper. Nor--"
Blare enters and takes up her place next to Yami Bakura and stares at Nestor "Whoa Tea, looks like your cat coughed up a hairball. That's a doozie!"
Atem: ::indignantly:: "Kyri, this is Nestor." ::Nestor pokes out of Yugi's hair at the sound of his name. Kyri stifles a cry as the presumed hairball glares at her.::
::As Atem shoots imaginary daggers at Kyri for thinking Nestor was a result of a feline's indigestion, a scream is heard from the bathroom. Everyone runs to It.::
Kisara: "There is some sort of rat coming out of the sink!" ::shaking finger points at furry protrusion from the drain::
Joey: "Somehow that hair color looks familiar."
Marik: "It looks like Nestor hair!"
Blare rapidly turns on Yami Yugi:: "You bathed this repulsive creature in our sink!?!"
Atem: "Well ... I--"
Bakura: "And look at this!" : surprised pens shower door. All of everyone else's hair stuff has been pushed off and replaced by seemingly dozens of Kuriboh hair care products::
Tea: ::shrieks at seeing some spilled pink gel all over the tub:: "Atem! "My Very-Berry Dreams Shampoo"!! It's wasted!!!"
Atem: ::scowling:: "He NEEDED a bath!! I must be a good pet owner to him!!! It is my number one d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duty!!! I have legally adopted him as my son, and he shall be treated as such!!!" ::closes his eyes as if to bottle the vile things he is going to say: ?Now if you all don't mind, Nestor and I are going on our walk.?
Atem puts the miniscule monster back in his hair and saunters out the door, closing it with a slam behind him. The others are left staring at the door for a few minutes in silence. Kyri voices what all the others are thinking: ?Nestor must die.?
~*~ Part2, Chapter 1 ~*~
Ishizu Ishtar: "Last time on the Yami Bunch, we were introduced to five different couples moving into one house! Tea and Atem seemed to be right at home, bringing their warmth and loving nature into the home. Mai and her husband, Joey, seemed to annoy everyone just as soon as they started to talk. And I'm not too sure Joey's cooking skills went over well with the others either. Marik, and his fianc饬 Kyri, didn't seem too pleased with the environment they were thrown into. I'm not sure that they can really relate to anyone but they handled the situation much better than Blare and Bakura did, who almost managed to kill Joey as an offering to the Egyptian gods." ::Inside her head Ishizu thinks, ?It's a shame they didn't kill him off! He's deserves to die. We need to ration our world food anyway. With Joey on the show, all the food on the Yami Bunch that was meant to last for a year will be gone within a day!?::
Ishizu: ::continues after a small breath of boredom:: "Kisara and Kaiba have not yet premiered on the show, since Kaiba was busy at Kaiba Corporation and couldn't make the show, but I assure you that you will glimpse him on today's episode, so all of you adoring fans don't have to worry! Now, let's see if the couples can cope with their differences this time on the "Yami Bunch" right after this short break!? Ishizu puts on a false smile until she's off the air, then goes straight to the bar down the street to get drunk so she can effectively edit the show afterwards.
Scene opens up in the hallway of the upstairs in the early morning. Kyri sees her fianc饬 Marik, and starts off a conversation with him as they make their way downstairs for a "Get-to-know-each-other-better breakfast" suggested by Tea, who for it is now the much-hated character of the household.
Week 1, Day 2, 8:47 a.m.
Kyri: "Marik, have thou seen one of my decks? It?s missing, and I haven't the slightest idea of where it can be."
Marik: "I'm sorry, are you sure you looked everywhere for it?" he said in a denying and bored tone as if Kyri did this before and he wasn?t surprised it got lost.
Kyri: "Yes I?m sure, Marik! Now notify the others about it."
Kyri and Marik enter the kitchen to discover that everyone has annoyed look on their faces except for Tea who is the one the faces being directed at.
Tea: "So happy you two could make it! Please, pull up a chair, and join our riveting conversation!"
::Marik glares intently at her, while Bakura rolls his eyes exasperatedly crossing his arms in simple indifference.::
Atem: "Ah, so where were we, Tea?"
Tea: "Well, we were just about to talk about our favorite things to do! Now, let's go around in a circle and tell each other our favorite things to do! Oh, this will be so interesting learning about each other! Let's start off with Marik and Kiiro since they just joined our table of friends."
Kyri: "I enjoy imprisoning innocent people's minds, then using their soulless bodies for sinister purposes or sacrifices to the gods." She smirks upon seeing Tea's silent response of uneasiness
Bakura: ::jokingly:: "All right! Score one for the evil side." He raises his glass just for a second
::Tea immediately gives Bakura a stern look to silence him, as he smirks back at her and stifles a laughter. It was always like Bakura to make jokes just to annoy or make others angry. Marik and Kyri smile at his wittiness, but Atem stands up for Tea ... as usual.::
Atem: "There will be no sacrificing or using people for evil of any sort around here! And there will be no jokes to support any kind of evilness either, any of you! Now calm down."
Tea: "That's right! This reminds me! We need to make a list of household rules to discipline harsh behavior."
Marik: "Insolent Tea. You're going to take away Kyri's favorite thing to do, and Bakura's comic relief? I thought you wished for an environment full of happiness, so how are Kyri and Bakura supposed to be happy if their most enjoyed moments are stolen from them?" Marik says while curving his lips in mockery.
Tea: "Stop this! You will not be able to do anything or support anything evil in this household, and that's final! Besides, I'm sure Kyri, Bakura, and the rest of you can find some other hobby that is less malevolent! They don't need evilness in their lives to let them be happy!?
Blare: "I doubt it. Nothing is more rewarding than kill?I mean sacrifice to atone for your sins."
Marik: "Does this mean I can still take over the world, because thou did not mention that I had to change my hobby!" He says, cheering-up, which makes Bakura shake his head quite disturbed but in control
Tea: "Ohhh Atem! This is not going like I planned it to! I wanted to have the perfect happy breakfast, and nothing is going right!" she begins to weep on Atem's lap::
Everyone ignores Tea's crying to look up at the opened door to see who had entered. It?s Kaiba and Kisara. Kisara was slouched over on Kaiba?s head somewhat, tired, but still utterly alert and fierce.
Kaiba: "Did I miss anything? I tried to come here as fast as I co--"
Kisara: "You did no such thing! I was the one who persuaded you to get your glued eyes off that computer screen! You would have never even set foot in this house if I hadn't ordered you to!"
Kaiba swallows nervously "Ah, well yes. So ... anyway, are you guys having breakfast now? I'm starving!"
Blare sighs "Too late, we just finished. Good for you, too, Joey cooked? Again." She says, slurping in the air with a straw while slouched over the table on her head.
Kaiba: "Oh. Really? I always seem to miss the most important meals of the day--"
Kisara: "And everything else that's in the outside world!"
Kaiba ignores her comment "Um, why is Tea crying? You know, I don?t care it?s just?"
Marik: "Food poisoning. She'll die within twenty-four hours. Not surprising, Joey cooked." Marik says as he and Blare both looked to Joey who was resting his head on his strange ?breakfast? that was still cooking, his face red and disoriented from the intense 180 degree stove heater under his cheek.
Tristan: "Yeah. Joey cooked the meal!"
Everyone looks dully at him as Kisara speaks, ?They JUST said that!? she looks for a chair but doesn?t find one so she slouches against Kaiba in a grinding way.
Joey: "Wha?! I'm gonna pound ya for dat! Hey! You come back here! Why you little--" Joey, suddenly awake as if he was just 10 minutes ago, grabs Mai's hand so that they can run after Tristan together in circles around the kitchen table. Weee!
Kyri: "Round and round the three idiots go, where they stop? Nobody knows!"
Mai: "Joey! This is gonna mess up my beautiful hair! Stop, Oh no! Please!! My hair, Joey! MY HAIR!!!!"
::Suddenly Nestor pops up onto the table. Atem pets him affectionately and nuzzles him on the head. Tea frowns jealously. Kyri smiles, but that smile is abruptly halted when she spots something in the drooling mouth of Nestor. She ruthlessly grabs the scruff of what would be Nestor's neck if he had one. He squeaks in agony as she pulls him toward her, and Atem stands up in pure terror, not noticing Tea fall from his lap to the ground and get trampled by Tristan, Joey and Mai. Kaiba looks quickly at his watch, then at Kisara, and upon seeing her freaked out expression, he nudges her to leave. They slip out the front door, unnoticed.
Kyri reluctantly reach inside Nestor's mouth and pulls out a ripped piece of paper, which turns out to be one of the cards in her missing deck.
Kyri: "Yami, you ******** idiot! Nestor ate my deck!" she throws Nestor like a cannon-ball at Atem, but he ducks, and it ends up landing in Mai's hair.
Mai: "Ahhhhh! My hair! Eww! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! My hair! Get this thing outta my hair! Ahhhhh! Joeeeeey! Help me! Call 911!" she shrieks
Atem: ::stutters apologetically:: "I didn't mean to ... I mean ... oh come on Kyri! He was hungry! I needed to feed him something!" He pleads
Bakura: "Well the gods are awfully hungry as well. We have to feed them something. How about YOU, Atem?" He gestures to Marik for his voice.
Marik: "Oh no. I don't think the gods are hungry, yet. Oh, but I do think that the little Nestor looks famished! What's that?" ::Marik bends down to where Nestor might have had an ear and acts as if Nestor is saying something to him.:: "Nestor says he wants to eat Atem's deck! Can thou imagine such a thing?!"
Blare grins "I'll do the honors of providing this very special meal!" leaves room and goes upstairs
Atem morphs back into Yugi
Yugi: "What?! Please, no! You can't destroy my deck! That is what bonds Atem and I together! That's the only reason he even goes near me! If my deck is gone, then Atem will take over my body like Bakura did, and I'll lose my height!? He complains while going up the stairs
Bakura: : surprised verhears what Yugi said:: " I'd say that?s about 1ft, 10 inches?"
Yugi, infuriated by this comment, begins to join the orbiting path around the table, chasing after Bakura. "Bakura! You better not stop running or else I'll--"
Bakura: "You'll do what Yugi? You'll duel me?! Oh no! Everyone run! Yugi's gonna duel me!!"
Yugi: "Why are you picking on me so much?! I hate it when people pick on me! You big, uhhh... Bully!" Yugi runs faster after Bakura, or as fast as his wittle wegs will take him!
Meanwhile ... Ishizu comes back and enters the editing room. She turns on the spy cams and sees Tea crying on the ground depressingly, Joey and Yugi sprinting after Bakura in a continuous loop around the kitchen, Marik and Kyri working together to try to stuff one of Nestor's legs in the sink grinder, Mai trying to fix her gnarled hair and at the same time, run after Joey, and lastly: Blare joyfully tearing up Atem's cards and filtering them into Nestor's food bowl. Ishizu sighs, "This is exactly why I get drunk when I do this."
ninja To be continued... ninja
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