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 Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 5:22 am
When I was younger about 15 years old I was confused about sexuality and decided to do some experimenting. My best friend Racheal and I were very close and one evening we had sex, we just forgot to use a condom. Within a month I had to move back to Texas away from her located in New Orleans. I didn't know what was going to happen. A few months passed and Katrina hit, devasting the New Orleans area. I lost ALL contact with Racheal, but by this time I had figured out that I liked guys more, I only wanted to get a hold of her because she was my friend. Last week she called me, and told me that after her and I had sex she had gotten pregnant, not knowing what to do she had an abortion and then Katrina hit stopping us from talking.
Now how would you guys react? I just found out that I was a potential father and found out that my kid was killed. Now I am pro-choice and all, but I believe the father should have a large say in things too, especially since it's his baby also, I just dont know how to cope, act, and whatnot.
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 4:36 am
Draxxe love, I'm glad you're pro-choic and all, but my view on pro-choice is that it should be the woman's decision, especially when she has no contact with the potential father or not.
I'll continue when I get home from school hun. I'm not all against you, don't worry. *hugs*
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 12:18 pm
First of all you were 15, waaaaaaay too young to be a father. But a child is the woman's choice she is the one who has to do the work.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 1:47 pm
I think that it's not fair for the father to be left out of the descion making.. but that really is up to the woman to include the father and to make the final choice.
But Baka is right, you're really young to have a child. As sad as it may be for you to know that you're baby was terminated, it probably was for the best. (hugs)
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Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 5:21 pm
AkureiKnight I think that it's not fair for the father to be left out of the descion making.. but that really is up to the woman to include the father and to make the final choice. But Baka is right, you're really young to have a child. As sad as it may be for you to know that you're baby was terminated, it probably was for the best. (hugs) Being a father too young will rip away years of your childhood and make you grow up too fast. Growing up too fast can be a very bad thing.
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Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 11:47 am
I'm not saying that I don't agree with what she did. I just feel that I should have had some say in the matter, especially because it was consentual unprotected, so we both had equal rights to decide what would happen to a child of ours.
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Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 1:31 pm
Draxe I'm not saying that I don't agree with what she did. I just feel that I should have had some say in the matter, especially because it was consentual unprotected, so we both had equal rights to decide what would happen to a child of ours. Well what would you have told her had you been given the chance? There's not much point in thinking about it now as it has happened and you have to move on.
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Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 9:12 pm
Would you be in a position to provide at the very least 2/3 of the income for the family? Infants rob parents of work time, especially if breastfed. What about education for you and her?
Not to mention that it's her body, first and foremost. While I understand your feeling of disenfranchisement, it's unfortunately not at issue. If there were a way to incubate in an artificial womb, and both sperm and egg were donated willingly, then you'd have a claim.
Hell, dude, what if she'd chosen to carry to term, told you about it, and miscarried? What if you'd already given up your current life to go live with her when the miscarriage happened? Would you stay together? Flounder?
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Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 1:18 pm
That can't be an easy thing to learn. I'm sorry to hear about that.
While I believe that in an ideal situation, the mother and father would be able to come to an agreement about what to do with an unwanted pregnancy, it's pretty clear that this wasn't an ideal situation. You were both kids, and you had moved away. I can understand your shock upon finding out, and I completely sympathise with your feelings of being left out of an extremely important decission, but what's done is done, and all you can do is deal with it and move on with your life.
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Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 8:01 pm
I think the way to sum this all up is "whoops" It's over...just try to push ahead...
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