Welcome to Gaia! ::

I do have to tell ya, I started this form not just for all ya'll, but for me as well. It's not like I needed to have a normal diary, I use deviantART for that, but the fact is I don't know if you guys access or can comment there.

I'm 20. I've got two siblings both younger than me with different fathers. I'm a college drop-out, and I'm not good at getting along with either my parents or boyfriends I've had in the past. I'm bipolar borderline schizophenic with multiple personalities. I have a hard time handling myself. And that's just a scrape off the top.

My mom said I needed to be commited a few weeks ago. TO MY BOYFRIEND. Can you believe the nerve? I don't think I'm crazy, I just don't know what to do sometimes when my emotions flare up...I don't get much sleep anymore. I'm always homesick for my younger brother, because where ever he is it feel like home. I'm worried about the future and the kind of screw ups I'm gonna make. I feel like I'm turning into my dad all of a sudden. He's got all the mental problems in the book. I sometimes need his advice, but it's not easy to get. It's not like I can go "Hey, Dad, I don't know what to do with this bipolar stuff and I'm scared," because even though I am, he'll turn it into an excuse to blow up and make it all about himself! I don't know how to deal with that, so I don't, and getting info off the internet about handling it just says "see a damn doctor, you ******** up." Which is exactly how I feel. I can't cook, clean, or do anything a wife is supposed to do! How am I supposed to take care of this?!!! I'm ******** nuts.

And when I can't do anything about it, I come here. I come on Gaia and pretend I'm happy. I act like I'm in love with a fictional character to hide my despirations. Don't get me wrong, Kratos is a hottie, but will he ever be able to hold me when I need it? Only in my fantasies, and that's not enough anymore... it used to be, but not anymore.

There ya go, your Captain in a small little thinky post.