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 Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 2:42 pm
Help! I've got a problem I need solving.
See my best friend has liked this guy, John, for a while. She asked him out earlier this year, but he rejected her. Now she still sorta likes him, and hates him and herself for it.
Now, both John and Kat (that's my friend) are good buddies of mine, but here comes the situation. I've kinda.. developed a crush on John (he's cute, funny, and defensive of his friends, which are definitely good qualities). And I think he might sorta be developing something that could turn into liking me back. Only problem is, I'm afraid if he asks me out, what should I say?
No, because it would break my friend's heart and make her hate me forever?
or Yes, because I like him and would be happy going out with him?
Details to know:
~Kat's been my best friend since 5th grade.
~John told me once he never went to dances because he didn't know how to/was afraid to dance with girls.
~ My other best friend, Micah, has been going out with her boyfriend for over a year, breeding jealousy in both me and Kat.
~The only reason Kat was forced to ask John out in the first place was because Hunter, Micah's boyfriend told John Kat liked him. That's why I haven't told Micah or Kat I like John.
~ I subtley found out that if she finds out any of her friends like John, she claims she will "spork their eyes out". ><
WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!?!! gonk
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:36 pm
In my opinion, you should go for it. However, before diving into the relationship, be honest with your friend and tell her what's going on. You're not positive if she'll get jealous or if the relationship will break her heart...so why not give your love life a chance? If it doesn't work, then that's okay, because you were honest with Kat in the first place. Maybe, after you start the relationship, you can help Kat move on and find another guy. She just might feel better knowing that the guy she used to like is dating her best friend instead of some good-for-nothing chick. Just, emphasis on the honesty key! 3nodding
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 7:44 pm
Yeah, but the problem is, Kat gets angry so easy. She's got a turtle personality, where she really cares about people and others and is easily hurt, but she hides that behind a shell of sarcasm and general meanness.
I don't want to lose my best friend! ><
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 5:16 am
First you should talk to Kat, about your feelings if she doesn't agree with it then don't go out with him if she does...still don't go out with him. THe reason is because your friend is a good friend if she said it was ok. But you would be a great friend if you didn't go out with him. Imagine how your friend will feel when you want to confine in her about the problems between you and the guy... also it would be like rubbing her nose in it. And if she had feelings for the guy seeing you two together would still hurt her. A rift will come between all three of you and it won't be able to be repaired because it will alway be "remember the time you dated that guy I really liked" sad 3nodding
And it is against best friend rules. "Never date or kiss or sleep with your bestfriends boyfriend or crush" 3nodding
That is the only advice I can give however it is up to you to make the choice...just trust you heart and the choice you make.
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 6:52 am
Have you ever heard the phrase, "bros before hos"? Always put your friends before potential love interests. I'm guessing you're pretty young, so don't worry, there will be plenty of boys down the road; don't screw up a friendship over what is bound to be a temporary relationship.
BUT...on the other hand, your friend sounds way touchy. It's no fun having to walk on eggshells to please someone. Then again, she liked the boy first. If she finds out you started seeing each other, she's going to be righteously pissed no matter what.
ALSO... you don't need a boy to validate you! There is no need to be jealous just because you have a friend who has a boyfriend. I'm sure you are a cool person on your own. Revel in your coolness and the knowledge that you do not need boys to make you awesome! heart heart heart
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 12:41 pm
SpicyMustard ALSO... you don't need a boy to validate you! There is no need to be jealous just because you have a friend who has a boyfriend. I'm sure you are a cool person on your own. Revel in your coolness and the knowledge that you do not need boys to make you awesome! heart heart heart
This is profound truth.
Anyways, I'd give you the same advice as the others. Talk to her and be honest with her. Make sure she knows that if she has a problem with it, you'll stay away from him. Like Mustard said, he's not the only fish in the sea, and besides, 95% of the time, highschool relationships are temporary.
And about Micah, I don't think you should care about that. The fact that she has a boyfriend while you don't shouldn't mean anything. If anything, you should rejoice in your freedom from commitment. I do, every day I'm alive.
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 5:27 pm
Thanks, guys. I really appreciate that.
But as for the thing about jealousy of Micah, she's been going out with the same guy for over a year, and my last boyfriend dumped me after a week.
That's what I like to call depressing. crying
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Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 10:54 pm
you live only once surprised
Friends never last anyways.
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Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:47 pm
everybodys_weirdo Help! I've got a problem I need solving. See my best friend has liked this guy, John, for a while. She asked him out earlier this year, but he rejected her. Now she still sorta likes him, and hates him and herself for it. Now, both John and Kat (that's my friend) are good buddies of mine, but here comes the situation. I've kinda.. developed a crush on John (he's cute, funny, and defensive of his friends, which are definitely good qualities). And I think he might sorta be developing something that could turn into liking me back. Only problem is, I'm afraid if he asks me out, what should I say? No, because it would break my friend's heart and make her hate me forever? or Yes, because I like him and would be happy going out with him? Details to know: ~Kat's been my best friend since 5th grade. ~John told me once he never went to dances because he didn't know how to/was afraid to dance with girls. ~ My other best friend, Micah, has been going out with her boyfriend for over a year, breeding jealousy in both me and Kat. ~The only reason Kat was forced to ask John out in the first place was because Hunter, Micah's boyfriend told John Kat liked him. That's why I haven't told Micah or Kat I like John. ~ I subtley found out that if she finds out any of her friends like John, she claims she will "spork their eyes out". >< WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!?!! gonk Huh here I am again being good and trying to help yall ladies. This is a though situation and I just survived it about 2 days ago...Fiorst of all a guy is not worth losing a friend.Getting with John would be like backstabbing your best friend and she'd be reaaaaaally hurt.And what if the relationship with you and jonh doesn't work out in the end???Then you're left without a boyfriend AND your best friend.I think not getting with john is the answer bcause when kat doesn't talk to you you'll regret getting with john for the little time relationship yall might have.Guilt is gonna eat you up and you'll eventually break up with him cuz you feel guilty.I forgave my best friend bcause I'm a very forgiving person.But save yourself the trouble AND the drama AND the humiliation and just stay true to your best friend kat.And since you haven't told Kat you like john either you wait till the heat dies down or bring more bad news to her and tell her right away.I hope I helped you.It's a tough desicion but have courage to do the right think and listen to your heart.Your first instincts are always(so far they have been for me) right .So I was wondering if yall think I should put up an advise column so you could post your problems??????? much love and advise tigger395
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:59 am
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